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"Vantage Point" Review

Vantagepoint

Let's say I asked for ten dollars. You said, fine, sure but then questioned why I wanted that ten dollars. And I casually said "Oh, well that ten dollars is the payment for having your soul sucked for two solid hours". I am assuming that then you'd kick me in the shins, grab your ten dollars back and run away. That is of course unless you are a person who routinely enjoys losing several hours of their precious life, then by all means, do I have the movie for you! See Vantage Point: Soul sucking fun for the whole family!

There is an episode of Entourage when E and Vinny go see the final cut of Medellin. E can't stand the movie and when he goes back to speak with the director about the film, he meets the man who is completing the movie trailer. In order to get Medellin sold to a distributor E needs a movie but when he sees the fantastic trailer, he decides that that will do and sells the movie to Miramax. I kept thinking about the awesome trailer vs. shitty movie conundrum the entire duration of Vantage Point because that was me. I am the dumbass who saw the trailer ages ago and was so very desperate to see how OMFG awesome this movie would be. And now I am out two hours of my life and let's throw in an extra 45 minutes for the time I spent afterwards wanting to claw my eyes out and saying "seriously?" over and over and over again.

I'm trying to wrap my head around around the point of this movie because there wasn't one. What had me so giddy from the trailer - seeing the assassination of the President (William Hurt) from eight points of view all the while trying to figure out the who, what, and why - is what left me half catatonic by the end of it because it was just all so very pointless. The President is in Salamanca (a city I adore) for a global terrorism summit. While at the summit he gets assassinated by some terrorist group. But don't stress about finding out why because you will never know. So, Ha! The summit is being covered by Global News Network and its producer Rex Brooks (Sigourney Weaver). Matthew Fox plays a secret service agent and Forrest Whitaker is there for no apparent reason other than to tape the entire thing on his handycam and to play last action hero when saving an eight year old girl.

Really though, there is no reason for much of this movie which is why I feel like every time I think about it, I lose brain cells. It could have been great. In fact if it were Michael Bay at the helm, I think I would have loved this movie and thought that each time I saw the same monster blow up, seizure inducing scene, I would have found it to be awesome. But no, I found each repeated vantage point to be mind numbing while I sat and repeated "BUT WHY" over and over and over again. But sadly there is no rhyme or reason just a lot of bombs and guns (which I normally don't mind see: Michael Bay above) but when you thrown in an almost killing of small child for shits and giggles (and not in that smooth Crash kind of way) that's when I roll my eyes and pray that this is a bad dream and it will all be over soon.

Matthew Fox should stick to saving people on deserted islands. Forrest Whitaker should stick to playing intriguing but psychotic dictators. And I would really like my ten dollars back which could pay for a large grey goose and soda so I could forget about this entire ordeal.






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Comments

BaltimoreGal

Your first paragraph describes every stupid man-movie (Jean-Claude VanDamme, Steven Segal, etc.) I had to see with my high school boyfriend. But I'm not bitter.

And although I would pay $10 to see Bill Hurt injured, I had a feeling from the commercials that this one would be a snoozer despite the plethora o' talent. I don't know why- maybe pre-release reviews or real press? Or maybe I've just seen enough bad movies.

NoPasaNada

This is actualy the first atrocious movie I've seen in awhile. Then again I have three (!!) on tap for this weekend which means that there is ample opportunity for every fiber of my being to be sucked out of my eyeballs. Wahoo!

Also, I have never been a VanDamme or Segal fan. But seriously, Michael Bay, my god, Michael Bay. I really, really wish he had made this movie.




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