Justin Bieber Is Not Dating Kim Kardashian, So Stop Threatening Her

Justin Bieber has taken to the Twitter to calm fans who have allegedly sent death threats to Kim Kardashian since the duo's May-December crush party began last week.

*Blinks.*

*Twitches.*

Yes, I think this is really real.

Kardashian, 29, and Bieber, 16, met at the White House Correspondent's Association dinner last weekend, whose guest list someone can explain to me at another, preferably heavily medicated time. Kim's date, she said? Greta Van Susteren. Sassy! But her connection with Justin was apparently immediate and deep. See?

I don't know about you, but I really don't care for his expression in this photo. I think this is where it all went wrong.

"I officially have Bieber Fever!!!" Kardashian tweeted, after JBiebs tweeted out the photo above, saying "Look its (sic) my girlfriend."

This is totally your fault, Bieber. You know that, right?

Anyway, party over. Kardashian headed to Toronto and Bieber to Chicago to appear on Oprah, because, well, I guess there is a reason for that too but I don't know what it is. A Bieber-Oprah mindmeld? That's too much to consider at this time.

Then sometime over the weekend there was a disturbance in the force. And last night, Kim reached out through Twitter again.

"Seriously Biebs! @JustinBieber I'm getting death threats from your fans! This is unBeliebable!!!"

Extensive Internet investigative reporting (read, excessive Googling until Bieber fatigue set in) has turned up no specific examples or sources of threats lobbed at Kardashian and she has not provided further details. But you never know with Bieber fans. (I cannot stop typing "Bieber "now.) Eight Bieber devotees were trampled while rushing the doors at a concert in Australia in April, and his mother was knocked down at a New Zealand appearance two days later.

There appears to be some bad Bieber business going on, worldwide, is what I'm saying. And he just wants everyone to chill, really. He will tweet you about it, even, but I'm not so sure.

"ladies calm down. @kimkardashian is a friend. a very sexy friend but a friend. no need 4 threats. Let's all be friends and hang out often ;)"

I know, right? My head really hurts too all of a sudden.

Bieber fever? I really hope not.

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Comments

[DianaCLT]

Aside from the "eew" factor, if they were involved. WTF is up with that picture? Is he trying to look cute? Sexy? Because he looks like he just got a whiff of one of her farts. And KK? She looks like a drag queen. Or a really overdone, mocking KK impersonator.

[Deb Rox]

Bieber's World 2.O needed a porntastic fantasy or it wouldn't be his World 2.0, ya know. And Tina Fey was a serious gateway drug to the world of grownup sexy friends. What punk wouldn't love a whole harem of D-listers and millions of hypnotized children to command? Heck, I'd love that life. Esp if people called be Biebs. It's better than Second Life in every way. That's one damn lucky Canadian. Hey, Bieb, let's hang out a bunch all chilled, oK?

[Marilyn]

Every time I read something about Bieber-mania I feel very old. I don't get it.

They both look terrible in that picture. I do enjoy seeing a bad celebrity pic.

[Sarah, Goon Squad Sarah]

Oh Bieber, stop the madness! Can't he just date Lindsey Lohan or Dakota Fanning already?

[Hope]

I don't get any of the Bieber mania and that makes me feel very old.

But Kim looks like the Joker in that picture so that makes this story all better.

[lori]

I just can't get past the following thought: Why was Justin Bieber at the White House Correspondent's Dinner? I... wha?... is he??... wha?

And then I repeat the sequence for Kim Kardashian (who does look drag-queen-esque in that awes-ful pic).