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Rumble: Debbie Gibson vs. Tiffany on SyFy!

Tiffany_lI'll admit it: I was team Debbie all the way.  Before we even really had teams.  You were just squarely in one camp or the other.  I had my side-ponytail with scrunchie, my bottle of Electric Youth perfume, and just about every single cassette tape of Miss Gibson ever made.  I sang "Lost in Your Eyes" at my fourth-grade recital. I WIN.

One of the greatest little-known perks of expanded basic cable is Saturday nights on SyFy.  SyFy, also known as the Science Fiction Network and YES I KNOW THAT ABBREVIATION DOESN'T MAKE SENSE, runs these AMAZING, poorly-done homegrown shows.  They are poor cheese with a $5 special effects budget.  It's truly amazing.  I've seen a few that made the original Clash of the Titans a masterpiece.

Untitled-2 Yet, if you like cheese, bad acting, and an attempt at horrible writing, you CANNOT LOOK AWAY.  My husband and I have on more than one occasion found ourselves sucked in to "Piranhas!" or "Blood Monkey!" or "Ice Spiders!" or anything similar to that.  I'm not even embarrassed to admit it.

BECAUSE IT'S AWESOME.

Well, now they've announced a classic showdown of good vs. evil, mall queen vs. cassette queen, blonde vs. not blonde in their new original feature, "Mega-Python vs. Gatoroid".  I KNOW, SQUEEE, AM I RIGHT?!

So .. the last I heard from Tiffany was when she was on Celebrity Fit Club on VH1, which was intolerable to watch because of the douchey Dustin Diamond.  I really don't know what else she's been up to.

I just about peaked at life when I got to see Debbie Deborah Gibson in a touring production of Grease that came through here.  Seriously, I was 14, and I thought I was going to die.  BEST NIGHT EVER.  Then she went and got nekkid in Playboy.  That was kind of the last I heard from her.  Or she was dead to me.

BUT THEY'RE BACK.

Gibson will play an animal-rights activist who frees illegally imported exotic snakes from pet stores, sending them into the Everglades, where they grow to mega sizes. Tiffany will play an overzealous park ranger who uses dangerous methods to save endangered alligators.

Gibson is apparently the well-intentioned activist who frees imported exotic snakes from those evil pet stores, but sends them into the Everglades where they end up growing to uncontrollable sizes.  Arch rival Tiffany will be her nemesis, a park ranger who uses "dangerous" methods to save alligators facing extinction.  I used quotes there because I couldn't think of a non-dangerous method to save an alligator.

PLEASE, OH PLEASE, LET THERE BE A DUET OVER A MONTAGE.

Photos: Source1 and Source2


Sarah Lena doesn't mind not knowing what she's headed for .. you can take her to the sky-y-y-ies...







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Comments

TJ Johnson

Why am I actually excited for this? I need some major help.

Suzy Q

OMG, this is fact-based fiction! People DO release exotic snakes into the Everglades (my backyard) all the damn time, where they get ridiculously large and chomp on everything. There's even a special hunt-and-kill team.

I love those horrid SyFy movies, too. DinoSharkSnakeSpider!

Sarah Lena

Seriously, Suzy Q? There's, like, a SWAT team for oversized amphibians in the Everglades? WHERE DO I SIGN UP, cause that sounds AWESOME!!

Also, sort of related, I tried a perfume at Maurice's here called .. Azia, I think .. but it smells JUST LIKE ELECTRIC YOUTH.

Suzy Q

Yes, Sarah Lena, I was not kidding. The team is made loosely up of a few guys who know the ins and outs of the Glades and have studied python and large snake behavior. They find 'em and kill 'em. The only swatting they do, though, is to the giant carnivorous mosquitos! I'm sure they would welcome a new (female!) member.

Coleen

I think I smell a marathon: Mega Piranha, starring Tiffany
(http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1587807/), then Mega Shark v Giant Octopus, staring Debbie Gibson (AND Lorenzo Lamas!) (http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1350498/), then this movie! AWESOME!

Dawn

Can we please do an open thread on this one? There's just too much going on it it not too. Also: MST3K for the new millenium.




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