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June 25, 2010

Lindsay Lohan is Pale and in Pain. BOO HOO.

Lindsay-lohan Lindsay Lohan's required SCRAM ankle device is really, really ruining her mojo, y'all.  It's very very sad.  She's forced to be pale.  And she's in pain.  So she's - AGAIN - pleading with anyone owning a screwdriver to help her out.  MY HEART BLEEDS FOR YA, LILO, TRULY.

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June 21, 2010

Dina Lohan Has an Ice Cream Meltdown

Dina-lohan Only in the Lohan family can a trip to the ice cream store result in a dispute that requires four police cars and several "official statements" to resolve. 

Keep raising the bar, Lohan family.

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June 11, 2010

Lindsay Lohan's Assistant Quits. It's Just Not Her Week.

Lindsay-lohan You know, I'm kind of surpised that Lindsay Lohan still had an assistant with all her financial and employment issues.  I guess that it makes sense that she has a minder of some kind, maybe a probation officer or a posse of constantly circling vultures but a paid assistant to keep her life running smoothly? Wow. I'm going to hazard a guess that the job wasn't going too well lately.

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June 08, 2010

Breaking-Bench Warrant Issued For Lindsay Lohan

Lindsay-Lohan Lindsay Lohan's court ordered alcohol monitoring bracelet, called a SCRAM device, was triggered Sunday evening during an MTV Movie Awards after party. Judge Marsha Revel has just issued a bench warrant for her arrest because of it.

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June 02, 2010

Drugs Lindsay Drugs Lohan Drugs Drugs Drugs

Lindsay-lohan-scram-bracelet Lindsay continues to have the most loophole-filled probation ever. This time she's getting a pass to take prescription painkillers after a dentist appointment.

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June 01, 2010

Celebrity Rehab on Hiatus Until Someone Important Shows Up

Celebrity_rehab_tawnyI thought VH1 was bluffing when they said that they didn't have enough A & B-Listers to continue with the show.  So those of you who DID ask for help? You're kind of not a big enough deal for us to roll tape.

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May 25, 2010

Lindsay Lohan Not Going to Jail

Lindsay_Lohan So Lindsay manages to get a second, third, gazillionth, chance.  Raise your hands if you are surprised.  Yeah, me either.

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May 21, 2010

Lindsay Lohan Accuses Dad in Passport Heist

Lindsay-lohan-passport-jail If your dad kept saying he wanted you to go to jail, you might be suspicious too.

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May 20, 2010

Lindsay Lohan a No Show in Court Because Her Passport Got Stolen-UPDATED

Lindsay_Lohan

UPDATED

Lindsay Lohan has been ordered to attend a probation hearing today or face jail time.  There is just a slight problem. She is in Cannes. And she can't get back. Because her passport was stolen.

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May 18, 2010

Does Lindsay Lohan Have a New Girlfriend?

Indrani Pal-Chaudhuri  Is she really going out with her? If so, I gotta say...well played, Lindsay.

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May 12, 2010

Michael Lohan Asks Judge To Send Lindsay Lohan To Rehab

Lindsay-lohan-with-michael-lohan In what may be becoming the weirdest public father/daughter feud, ever, daddy Lohan is now asking the judge to send Lindsay to rehab.  But that is only because he is trying to keep her out of jail.

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May 10, 2010

E-Trade Lawyers File Response to LiLo's Lawsuit

Drunk Lindsay. This picture never gets old.  E-Trade's lawyers have submitted hundreds of papers to a Long Island court in response to Lindsay's ridiculous case against them, the practical upshot of which is essentially, "Oh bitch please."

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