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June 25, 2010

Lindsay Lohan is Pale and in Pain. BOO HOO.

Lindsay-lohan Lindsay Lohan's required SCRAM ankle device is really, really ruining her mojo, y'all.  It's very very sad.  She's forced to be pale.  And she's in pain.  So she's - AGAIN - pleading with anyone owning a screwdriver to help her out.  MY HEART BLEEDS FOR YA, LILO, TRULY.


June 21, 2010

Dina Lohan Has an Ice Cream Meltdown

Dina-lohan Only in the Lohan family can a trip to the ice cream store result in a dispute that requires four police cars and several "official statements" to resolve. 

Keep raising the bar, Lohan family.


June 11, 2010

Lindsay Lohan's Assistant Quits. It's Just Not Her Week.

Lindsay-lohan You know, I'm kind of surpised that Lindsay Lohan still had an assistant with all her financial and employment issues.  I guess that it makes sense that she has a minder of some kind, maybe a probation officer or a posse of constantly circling vultures but a paid assistant to keep her life running smoothly? Wow. I'm going to hazard a guess that the job wasn't going too well lately.


June 08, 2010

Breaking-Bench Warrant Issued For Lindsay Lohan

Lindsay-Lohan Lindsay Lohan's court ordered alcohol monitoring bracelet, called a SCRAM device, was triggered Sunday evening during an MTV Movie Awards after party. Judge Marsha Revel has just issued a bench warrant for her arrest because of it.


June 02, 2010

Drugs Lindsay Drugs Lohan Drugs Drugs Drugs

Lindsay-lohan-scram-bracelet Lindsay continues to have the most loophole-filled probation ever. This time she's getting a pass to take prescription painkillers after a dentist appointment.


June 01, 2010

Celebrity Rehab on Hiatus Until Someone Important Shows Up

Celebrity_rehab_tawnyI thought VH1 was bluffing when they said that they didn't have enough A & B-Listers to continue with the show.  So those of you who DID ask for help? You're kind of not a big enough deal for us to roll tape.


May 25, 2010

Lindsay Lohan Not Going to Jail

Lindsay_Lohan So Lindsay manages to get a second, third, gazillionth, chance.  Raise your hands if you are surprised.  Yeah, me either.


May 21, 2010

Lindsay Lohan Accuses Dad in Passport Heist

Lindsay-lohan-passport-jail If your dad kept saying he wanted you to go to jail, you might be suspicious too.


May 20, 2010

Lindsay Lohan a No Show in Court Because Her Passport Got Stolen-UPDATED



Lindsay Lohan has been ordered to attend a probation hearing today or face jail time.  There is just a slight problem. She is in Cannes. And she can't get back. Because her passport was stolen.


May 18, 2010

Does Lindsay Lohan Have a New Girlfriend?

Indrani Pal-Chaudhuri  Is she really going out with her? If so, I gotta say...well played, Lindsay.


May 12, 2010

Michael Lohan Asks Judge To Send Lindsay Lohan To Rehab

Lindsay-lohan-with-michael-lohan In what may be becoming the weirdest public father/daughter feud, ever, daddy Lohan is now asking the judge to send Lindsay to rehab.  But that is only because he is trying to keep her out of jail.


May 10, 2010

E-Trade Lawyers File Response to LiLo's Lawsuit

Drunk Lindsay. This picture never gets old.  E-Trade's lawyers have submitted hundreds of papers to a Long Island court in response to Lindsay's ridiculous case against them, the practical upshot of which is essentially, "Oh bitch please."


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