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June 25, 2010

Lindsay Lohan is Pale and in Pain. BOO HOO.

Lindsay-lohan Lindsay Lohan's required SCRAM ankle device is really, really ruining her mojo, y'all.  It's very very sad.  She's forced to be pale.  And she's in pain.  So she's - AGAIN - pleading with anyone owning a screwdriver to help her out.  MY HEART BLEEDS FOR YA, LILO, TRULY.

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June 22, 2010

Chris Klein Checks Into Rehab After Second DUI-Related Arrest

Chris-Klein Chris Klein is voluntarily checking into the rehab facility Cirque Lodge in Utah for the next month (or longer) after being arrested on suspicion of driving under the influence in Los Angeles on June 16th.

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June 21, 2010

Jeremy London's Lawyer Issues Cease and Desist to Family


Jeremy-london  According to Jeremy London's wife, their lawyer is very concerned that all the talk from mother Debbie Nielsen and brother Jeremy will hurt their case. I think maybe the real concern is the fact that the story seems too ludicrous to be true, but I'm no lawyer. Jodifur, what say you?

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Dina Lohan Has an Ice Cream Meltdown

Dina-lohan Only in the Lohan family can a trip to the ice cream store result in a dispute that requires four police cars and several "official statements" to resolve. 

Keep raising the bar, Lohan family.

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June 18, 2010

Jeremy London's Family Not Buying His Story

Jeremy-london  After former 7th Heaven/Party of Five star Jeremy London related a harrowing and difficult-to-believe tale of kidnapping and forced crack-smoking, you'd expect his family to come rushing to his defense. His brother Jason, however, had this to say: "You're 40, grow up."

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June 16, 2010

"American Pie" Star Roped in for DUI

American_pie If you're like me, (you have great hair AND) you read that title and struggled to think of any actor by name who was actually in ANY of the America Pie movies.  While you're thinking about that, I'd like to say that my hair looks particularly good today, in case you were wondering.

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June 15, 2010

Charlie Sheen's Car Stolen and Ditched...Again?

Charlie-sheen-mug-shot  What is that old saying? "Steal my car once, shame on you; steal it twice, shame on me," or something like that? I mean, you'd think if you had your car stolen and driven into a ditch even once, no matter how gated and secured your ritzy community, you'd say to yourself, "Self? Let's not leave those keys in the car anymore." Apparently not if you're Charlie Sheen.

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June 02, 2010

Celeb Rehab Could Be On After All...With Liza

Aw__liza  If this happens, I sweartagawd, I may pee myself.

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Newest NYC Housewife Arrested for DUI

Sonja-morgan-photo_379x505Sonja Morgan is BY FAR my fave Housewife right now on Real Housewives of NYC. Mostly because she's openly a single party girl.  Ooops!  Guess those things catch up with you in real life.

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Drugs Lindsay Drugs Lohan Drugs Drugs Drugs

Lindsay-lohan-scram-bracelet Lindsay continues to have the most loophole-filled probation ever. This time she's getting a pass to take prescription painkillers after a dentist appointment.

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June 01, 2010

Celebrity Rehab on Hiatus Until Someone Important Shows Up

Celebrity_rehab_tawnyI thought VH1 was bluffing when they said that they didn't have enough A & B-Listers to continue with the show.  So those of you who DID ask for help? You're kind of not a big enough deal for us to roll tape.

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May 21, 2010

Russell Brand Claims Sexy-Time With Two Women is "Efficient"

Russell-brand-teeth And in Russell's world, no doubt, it's true! I'm sure this is a common problem for many celebrity sex addicts, this dilemma of, "Gee, I want to sleep with as many people as I possibly can, but there's only ONE of me! How can I make that magic number grow faster? Oh, hellz yeah: Threesomes!! Foursomes!! MOREsomes!!! There's enough of me to go around now, lay-deez."

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May 18, 2010

Charlie Sheen: Overpaid "Actor" & Alleged Abuser

Charlie_sheen I'm sorry, but Charlie Sheen hit his peak when he did Hot Shots!: Part Deux, and let's face it, THAT was no tough acting gig either.

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May 10, 2010

E-Trade Lawyers File Response to LiLo's Lawsuit

Drunk Lindsay. This picture never gets old.  E-Trade's lawyers have submitted hundreds of papers to a Long Island court in response to Lindsay's ridiculous case against them, the practical upshot of which is essentially, "Oh bitch please."

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April 30, 2010

Lindsay Lohan Spirals Ever Downward

Lindsay Lohan, drunkety drunfkace  Lindsay, baby? We'd all stop talking about you if you'd only stop living your life like a True Hollywood Story on fast forward. Now it seems you may be off to jail for violating your probation.

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