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Liveblogging: Some Random Gilmore Girls Episode That Is Sure To Piss Amy Off

* A continually updated, running commentary on the broadcast in real-time (hit refresh as necessary)*

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So Amanda and I were emailing today (part four frillion and two of the non-stop tantrum I've been throwing since the Palladinos left Gilmore Girls in the hands of some dirty typewriter surrender monkeys), and she informed me that the Rumors That Be report that this show might actually be back for an 8th season after all.

ANOTHER SEASON? Jesus. I've gone on record as swearing to go down with the ship, but another season? That's like going down with the ship, washing up on a deserted island, and then starving to death after you run out of coconuts.

Sigh. Okay, it's showtime. Let us all gather together around this little bonfire I've managed to build (Wilson the volleyball helped), and support each other by reminiscing about the days before this show went totally off the rails. And peanut butter. God, I would totally fuck a has-been musician for some peanut butter.


8:00 Lorelai's new movie? "Because I Said So?" Dude. Mamapop is SO TOTALLY SUING.

8:01 Where's Gigi?

8:02 Credits. Episodes of a Lesser Suckage.

8:03 Also according to the all-knowing Amanda, all of the actors EXCEPT Alexis Bledel are up for another season. And they are prepared to do that season WITHOUT her, if necessary.

8:04 Um. Yeah. That wouldn't suck at all! They could just bring in her never-before-referenced cousin Olivia!

8:05 AND! Lorelai and Olivia could move to California! And the season premiere can feature Lorelai's wacky adventures when she decides to take surfing lessons! From a hunky instructor!

8:06 Who totally turns out to be gay! But it's okay, because then they go shoe shopping.

8:07 Wait, I'm sorry. Is there a show on, or something? Muffin tops? Seinfeld?

8:08 OH! And the new season can have a Very Special Episode for sweeps where Olivia gets offered pot.

8:09 But then she gets some helpful advice (via phone) from special guest star Alexis Bledel.

8:10 WHO IS TOTALLY PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES!

8:11 Christopher is totally rich, in case y'all forgot.

8:13 Ugh. Anna. Ugh.

8:14 Anna WOULD be wearing polka dots. And being a total fucking bitch.

8:16 I am so totally writing the next season of Gilmore Girls. Only I'm calling it Gilmore Girls: The New Class and I'm including a laugh track.

8:18 The Country Crock Baby is talking now? Oh mother of hell, stop that.

8:20 PARRRRRRRRRISSSSSSS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

8:21 Hearing Paris say "bosom" totally gets me hot, y'all.

8:22 This is boring. You want to know what I ate for dinner instead?

8:23 Half a box of Trader Joe's chocolate truffles and a bottle of red wine.

8:25 Now I want pork chops.

8:27 We can query Richard via email!

8:28 Twenty-eight minutes in before our first SHUT UP, RORY! Some kind of record, for sure.

8:29 SHUT UP RORY!

8:30 Nice for leaving that huge mess, LORELAI.

8:32 OH MY GOD.

8:33 WHAT THE FUCK? Is Jackson like, KFed the Sperminator or something?

8:34 Anna's lawyer is from the Meredith Viera School of Reasoning. Mother = Babysitter, Father = School Bus Driver.

8:38 Paris' makeup is really, really pretty. The rest is firmly all: BLAH BLAH BLAH

8:39 "And then...a truck drives through the dining hall, and LUCY DIES. THE END."

8:40 "Also, NICE PINAFORE."

8:45 So...there's 15 minutes left in this episode. Any chance at all of anything actually, you know, HAPPENING?

8:46 Hmm, I sense some level-related forboding there.

8:47 Why the hell wouldn't the judge ask April what she wants? Huh? Anyone? Is that not totally unheard of?

8:48 Oh, right. The letter for Luke. Yawn.

8:49 Father figure! ZING!

8:50 Christopher is all, "How dare she not forget what a crap dad I've been! The writers of this show totally did! Not fair!"

8:51 Oh BLAH. Remember when Luke flew off the handle when he found out Lorelai still met with Christopher? Is this show totally eating its own tail now?

8:52 What is this prickly hurty feeling?

8:53 Jesus. Do I still care?

8:54 I need some more damn wine.

8:55 Christopher is ridiculous. ReDICKulous.

8:56 Heh. See what I did there?

8:57 Tray Sledding With Lucy would be a awesome name for a rock band.

8:58 La la la la la la la la la la la la ad nauseum

8:58.2048034 Yay for Luke! Fuck you Anna!

8:59 Oh no.

8:59.2874939 NOOOOOOOOOOO! Richard!

9:00 Next week. Wow. "A desperate hour leads to a new beginning?" FUCK YOU GILMORE GIRLS! WHY WON'T YOU JUST LET ME BE?

(Thanks, ladies, for hanging out tonight and for indulging my terribly bad mood. You rock.)







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Comments

birdgal

Oh amalah, you are so bitter. But I feel ya

birdgal

Mono, now that IS suckage

birdgal

Where is everyone? Is it that darn American Idol thread? Hmmmm?

Amanda

Really want to participate in this tonight, but the WB affiliate here has decided that people would much rather watch the UMD vs. Florida St. basketball game. UMD is my alma mater, but I'm still, "BRING ON GILMORE GIRLS." Ugh.

Charlene

God, what a bitch.

Charlene

Have they ever done an actual paternity test, or are we still relying on that 5th grade science project?

Charlene

Yay! Paris!

Amanda

Oh, yeah. Wonder if the court will insist on a paternity test and then we'll find out April is not Luke's daughter. And is also total shit at science fair projects.

birdgal

Paris at Goldman Sachs? For some reason I can't picture that...

birdgal

I think she needs to be a lawyer...

birdgal

bosom!

birdgal

I had pork chops--how about you?

birdgal

Much more exciting than pork chops!

Nicole

5 bucks says suki is pregnat

birdgal

I believe that the actress that plays Suki actually IS pregnant

Amanda

I'm having turkey burgers. I could go for some wine and truffles, though. Vanilla vodka and sugar-free dove chocolates will have to do.

Charlene

This Lucy thing is so stupid!!!

birdgal

I'm going through something with someone I've only known, oh, what six months? Pfffft

birdgal

Jackson is hung like a DONKEY

Charlene

I'd be getting out the weed-whacker about now.

Nicole

Rory really has to be liked by everyone... sick

birdgal

Lucy actually has some common sense after all!

Nicole

she's so not getting a phone call

birdgal

Nope, don't think much is gonna happen

Charlene

GO, LUKE!!!!!!

Charlene

Ooh, here it comes!

birdgal

oh boy, this is where is finds the goshdarned letter

Nicole

So what are the chances that he won't overreact and like divorce her or something super realistic like that

birdgal

Here's where Christopher will--predictably--fly off the handle

birdgal

A love letter?! Pllleeaassse

Nicole

So when you're married you can't respect and like another man ever?

birdgal

The coffee from Luke's is tainted! Sob, whine

Nicole

This is kind of hard to watch it's silly

Charlene

What a dick. And not in a good way.

Nicole

I was so expecting her to whisper "I am pregnat with your baby Christopher." after he stormed out...

Charlene

Mmmm, Cheez-Its.

JP

I used to at least smirk once during an episode... not so much this go-round. Better luck next week? Or perhaps in the remaining six minutes???

JP

Can you liveblog Veronica Mars, too? At least Logan really did have sexual relations with someone of the opposite sex.

birdgal

Like they invented 'tray sledding', it's pretty self explanatory

JP

You can see the wheels spinning about the infirmary. And I just smirked.

Charlene

Amen, Amy!

birdgal

AND Richard has a heart attack

Charlene

All right, gotta go.

Amanda

This liveblogging shit is really sucking for those of us who live on the west coast!

KJ

I'm so disappointed no one mentioned maybe the BEST line ever to be uttered on Gilmore Girls. (I just finished watching on TiVo. Laundry called.)

When Suki was freaking out about Jackson not getting a vasectomy and about how she had to take care of Jackson like he is a child and said "what, now do I have to cut his meat?"

And Lorelai said, "He definitely doesn't want his meat cut."

I about had wine come out my nose. Fucking hilarious!

judyu

Gilmore Girls is being replayed at 3pm on Sunday afternoon on the Baltimore affiliate. I heart my TIVO.

Talix

I thought I heard a commercial for Saturday night! It's only going to get worse when baseball season starts.

However, to get me through, I have TWoP's recap of last week: "I mean, if you use formula, the old lady can smoke, drink, eat as many tacos as she wants. No problemo!" Awesome. Sebastian Bach should do commercials for Similac.

BeLinda

my personal new name for the show is the GilBORE Girls. ANd I hope someone reads this and comments as I have no life and thought I was particularly sparkling and witty. Our KET Financial Aid workshop that was on at the same time had more excitement! Also do consider the liveblogging of Veronica for those of us who are 35 with the viewing tastes of high school girls. I heart that show.

Hillarie

I have been watching this since it first came on the air and I am getting so bored but still watch. WHY?

The things that bugs me the most is that April's Mom was ALSO Jess's somewhat step-Mom. Rember when he went to see his Dad is California?

It still irks me everytime Anna is in a scene. Why couldn't they get a different actress?

Suzy Q

Ok, I know I'm late to this, but I just watched it. Oh my holy hell, does this series ever SUCK this year!

Is it just me, or has Rory been at Harvard for at least 6 or 7 years now? And if that's true, then how come Paris is still on the same level? Has Harvard become an 8-year college now? With a semester off for slackers?

Lucy must die. Preferably by lighting her on fire while she's wearing that jumper thing.

And how the fuck did I miss Paris saying "bosom"? That alone might have made it worth watching. Paris = hot.

WTF with Chris *shudder* being all jealous whiny child now? Oh, that's right, he's ALWAYS been that way. It's just more noticeable now that they're MARRIED (God in heaven save me). And Lorelai being all, "Oh, Chris it's you I really love." Gak.

Suki pregnant. No surprise there. She gets it WAY more often than I do. Bitch.

Richard with a heart attack? Also no surprise. Oh, he'll survive. Unless he's using this as a ploy to GET THE FUCK out of his contract. Which, could you really blame him?

Can someone please tell me what the hell was in those napkins they smuggled out of Emily's at the beginning? My TiVo had a hiccup.

Oh yes, I will be watching this until the bitter, bitter end. And bitching about it all the way. Damn the network, they should have caved to the Palladinos!

Amy

BeLinda? SO WITTY! Sparkling and witty!

Hillarie? TOTALLY. Honestly, I bet the entire Anna/April storyline was written as some half-assed consolation prize for her when the Jesse show fell through.

And SuzyQ? It was quail. With some kind of spicy sauce. Blah blah blah rich people eat gross things! Except for Christopher, who simply enjoys the delicious taste of his own petulance.

Suzy Q

Thanks, Amy. Now I can sleep tonight knowing I didn't have to snarf down quail.

Christopher eating his own petulance? Damn, you're good! I guess that's why I have a day job.

Diva

Ummmm, excuse me Suzy Q, but Rory goes to Yale, not Harvard. She took a semester off after she stole the yacht and had to do community service, lived in the pool house and had her big falling out with Lorelai. She should have graduated last year with Logan, but you know what happens when you take a semester off...as for Paris, who the hell knows about her psychotic self, I think she is one of those people who in real life would be considered a "career student."

I too am tired of Anna. The actress, whoever the hell she is.....her name escapes me at the moment, annoys the "F" out of me. It's her voice and the fact that she reminds me of Pricilla Presley (sp? my brain is fried!). I think someone needs to knock off Anna and get April some speech therapy. Seriously, the girl has a nasty speech impediment...have you heard her lisp? Can someone arrange that for me? Thanks! Diva

crystal

So now that the custody battle is over, can Anna PLEASE LEAVE the f*ing show? April annoys me, but nowhere near as much as Anna.

Charlene-OMG, I totally forgot that all of this is based on some freaking 5th grade (um btw, Rorylite there is also like a 7th grader...my 5th graders are 10) science project.

And yeah, so why isn't April getting to talk????? That's SOP when the kid is old enough to express themselves. They go and talk to the judge about what THEY want. Roll eyes.

Meat-snicker

Sukie pregnant-I called it within a few minutes of her acting all freaky. Yawn.

Where's Gigi? What's with the inconsistency there? And if Chris left Lor, did he go get Gigi? WHERE IS SHE? Not that I like her-I just hate huge gaping plot holes that I can drive buicks through.

Lor/Chris pseudo breakup. It's been coming since they got back from Paris. I just thought they'd wait for May sweeps or something.

Next week Luke will ride in on white horse, Chris will show up and ANOTHER fight will ensue by Richard's bedside until he wakes up and tells them to knock it off and die in peace with some dignity, gosh darn it.

Suzy Q

Diva, you are so right. It IS Yale, not Harvard that Rory will never graduate from. I just get so darned PO'd at this show that I can't think straight sometimes. And I remember that whole semester off, living in the pool house thing which ALSO pissed me off because where the hell is MY pool house with hot-and-cold running servants?

Anna is played by Sherilyn Fenn, whom I used to like before she kept popping up in GG.

BeLinda

Amy thank you for saying I was sparkling and witty...Blushing furiously...I indeed feel quite special now. I am so happy that there is a support goup for those of us out there that are watching the show slowly die in the most boring way possible. I feel that I am not alone in the cold cruel world now.




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