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MamaPop Reviews the iPhone

Appleiphone First things first: we're a PC household. My husband is a software architect, and like a lot of hardcore code monkeys out there, programs exclusively for Windows. (I've lusted after a Mac for years now, but alas, the code monkey makes the technology purchases around here.) He also works for a wireless company and gets our cellphones -- pretty much any phone we want -- for free.

So you can imagine my shock when he came home on Monday with an iPhone. That he purchased and paid for himself at the Apple store.

"Happy..uh...something." he said sheepishly.

So what in the world possessed him to cross over to the dark side and plunk down several hundred dollars on a phone we totally do not need?

Simple. Because he spent five damn minutes playing with one at work.

That was all it took to turn an eye-rolling skeptic into a panting, wide-eyed lunatic who HAD TO HAVE AN iPHONE.

(Although it sounds like news of the iPhone's complete sold-out non-availability is a little exaggerated, since Jason just wandered into the nearest Apple store and bought one. Although when I went back yesterday for a dorky protective cover [shut up, I am clumsy] and a car charger, the weary and totally over-the-iPhone employees kept announcing over and over that they get shipments every night, but sell out every morning, so get there early, and please for the love of God stop asking.)

So now I have an iPhone. I will not lie: I like saying that. I HAVE AN iPHONE, MOTHERFUCKERS. It's only a matter of time before I'll be getting totally awesome emails from Lindsay Lohan, I bet.

I was using a BlackBerry Pearl, which is not a piece-of-crap phone by any means. But it didn't quite live up to my expectations, although I was never able to really articulate why I didn't like it. Now I know: because I was expecting something more like the iPhone. The Pearl's mouse-like trackball seemed like a great new breakthrough in mobile Internet browsing, but the fact is a small phone will never be like using a computer, nor should it be. Apple figured this out and...oh dear God, do I dare say it?...decided to Think Different.

The first question I get from people after they realize I'm using an iPhone (after: YOU WHORE I HATE YOU), is whether it really does all that shit they show you in the commercial. You know, zooming around the New York Times' homepage that actually looks just like the homepage and YouTube videos and all that. And yes. It does all that.

The web browser is freaking mind-blowing. It took me forever before I could use it without my jaw dropping and my tongue rolling out. The last time I had a reaction like this to a piece of electronics was the first time I hit the pause button on my brand-new TiVo. Like, holy shit. It's the goddamn Internet. On my phone. Tap and zoom and scroll and resize the page...all with your fingers, with no stripped-down text-only versions of the websites to struggle through. It's easy and intuitive and looks gorgeous. The iPhone will let you surf IMDB and Wikipedia the way God intended and for their true purpose: to settle fights in bars.

And don't even get me started on the whole turn-the-phone-and-the-screen-turns-with-it thing. That fucking rules.

It's not perfect, by any means. The browser doesn't support Flash and has a problem handling any java script that loads after the rest of the page. You can't install apps on the phone (yet?) so forget about opening PDFs or that Flash SuDoKu game. Super media- and animation-heavy sites will still look a little wonky, but hey, I hate those sites anyway. The vast majority of sites work just fine.

YouTube videos look like crap, but that isn't the iPhone's fault. YouTube videos always look like crap. I downloaded an episode of The Office from iTunes (the one where Michael cooks his foot on the George Foreman Grill), and it was like watching the show on an HDTV. Awesome. I wish the phone let me shoot videos. I'm guessing the next version will.

I didn't have any problems activating my phone...although I did regret ignoring all those weeks of "Update Now!" reminders from iTunes, because when I went to get the latest version on Monday the Apple site was totally farked as every single new iPhone owner tried to do the same thing. I was already on AT&T/Cingular...although yeah, you have to extend your contract by another two damn years to use the iPhone. Bitches. I haven't had any problems with applications crashing or losing the network connection. Sometimes the Internet loads a little slowly (but by "slowly" I mean "not instantaneously, but still faster than old skool dial-up"), but overall, this user's experience has been one of joy and love and happy loving vibes for this fucking kick-ass phone.







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Comments

Tracey (Sweetney)

jelus beyond language. YOU WHORE. (sobs)

Marilyn

YOU WHORE I HATE YOU. lol, had to say it. Yes, jelus over here too. I still loves mah way outdated razr but I wouldn't turn my nose up at an iphone.

JSauce

I too, was surprised by Teh Hub on Friday, when he came home with a couple for us. Which would explain why no one has really seen or heard from me since then.

It REALLY is amazing, and I'm with you, I've never had that WOW factor reaction to things electronic, but this phone blows my mind. I'm thrilled, too, that the camera takes such great pictures, because I never seem to have a camera around when I need one.

Tere

I really want one, even though I'm not a very gadgety person or someone who goes for the latest technology the second it's out.

But the truth is, I can't justify spending $600 on a phone. I just can't.

I'll take a reduced-price or freebie, though! :-)

Jennifer L.

*seething with jealousy but then snaps back to the reality that I cannot afford $600 on a phone*

Rats.

Sean

Yeah i have to say it too. YOU WHORE I HATE YOU

Amy H.

well I love you. Thanks for getting one. My husband works at Apple so I just want to hug everyone who has one and say "thanks for the job security!"

(btw, Apple employees get a FREE one!)

Lisa V

I don't hate you, whore. I hate Amy H, who got one for free. Sigh.

Kathryn

Apparently Amys are WHORES who I HATE.

Amalah

So let me clarify: my husband bought the phone without my knowledge or input or consent, and I like to pretend that it cost a lot less than it probably did. But...I did not insist that we return it, but instead ripped that sucker out of the box without a moment's hesitation.

But! For the $600 for a phone thing...yes, it's a phone. But only tangentially. It's a really awesome camera. It's a dayplanner and calendar and the most streamlined multi-tasking address book I've seen in a phone. AND mostly it's a mobile mini-Internet. I use it more than my laptop.

If you think about how much a phone and a digital camera cost, then toss in a BlackBerry for your email, and then the cost of the convenience of having ALL of these in one device, plus the fact that it just fucking rules and does everything better than all those other devices, and it really isn't such a bad deal.

Also, people stare at you in restaurants and are totally jelus. It's awesome.

Amy H.

plus the music. I heart the music I can play on it while on a walk. totally great deal and everyone should buy one. *wink*

RebeccaB

I had to pay rent this month, so maybe next month I won't eat and I'll walk to work and THEN I will go get one :)

Steph T

I sat at work all day and debated about getting one on Friday. I have decided to wait for V2 (which I am hoping will come out right at the same time as my bonus!). Please keep us updated on your new piece of technology!

leslie

WANT!!!!!!! Not done saving for it yet. Sob.

meleah rebeccah

iWait for an iPhone. iWant one sooo bad, but iCant afford it.

ps: WHORE

Kelly

obviously, Apple needs to send all MamaPop staff iPhone's so that we can give it a COMPREHENSIVE review.

right Apple?

Hello?

Kelly

obviously, Apple needs to send all MamaPop staff iPhones so that we can give it a COMPREHENSIVE review.

right Apple?

Hello?

Noelle

Dude. I'm not gonna call you a whore. I'm jelus of your iPhone, but I'm super jelus of your kickass husband who up and went out and bought one for you without your knowledge. High five for a rockin' hubby.

Tere

Amalah, you make a very rational argument to justify the $600. My husband has told me he supports my endeavors to get one.

If I can get over being a cheap bitch, I will soon be rubbing my iPhone in everyone's face.

Suzy Q

iPhone = iWant.

ALL of you Amys are WHORES, and I am jealous beyond belief.

That aside, is it really worth the extra hundred dollars to get the $600 phone vs. the $500 phone? Or do you even know, you whore? Gah.

michelle

i think the new i-phone rock althogh i can't afford it, but maybe i'll get a sidekick or somthing.




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