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Weeds Recap


This week on Weeds: Nancy's downward trajectory does not slow down.

Dean is in his office watching the video of Andy's battle buddy being impaled by that little miniature fighter jet and cracking up. "I have to send this to my frat brothers!" he says. Andy is changing clothes and rattles off a list of high-powered people that he should send it to and Doug asks, incredulously, "Are they Omega Phi Betas?" At least I think that's what he said. I'm not too well-versed in that Greek alphabet system of frats and sororities with their Alphas, Betas and Elemenopeos. Andy insists that it's Pat Tillman all over again.

Silas arrives at home and slips Nancy a nice big wad of cash. Apparently, Nancy has gone back on her vow to never let Silas deal. Good thing, too, I guess, since the community service gig is going really well to the tune of $2,000. In addition to his roadkill clean-up crew, Silas was able to snag three customers at an old folks' home. The only problem is that he's burned through his customer base. Nancy says that she'll make some calls, but on the condition that Silas is not her son, just some punk that sells for her. You know, I have no doubts that Silas is a good kid at heart, but he's kind of a screw up and I really feel like letting him deal, despite the desperate times, is a REALLY bad idea.

Matthew Modine is gazing out of his window, musing on Majestic's growth and need for sewage lines. He turns to his one-man audience, which is Doug, and comments that he's heard that if you get Doug's vote the rest will follow. Doug is, of course, receptive especially when Matthew Modine offers him a golf club membership.

Shane is at his summer school program in Majestic, which is through some super Christian school. His teacher would prefer that the students call him Bob and asks Shane if he's down and whatnot. Ugh. I can't stand teachers like that. Coincidentally, this is the same schtick that Nancy's deceased husband Peter pulled when he played Pastor Skip in Saved! Bob gives Shane a pound and then starts talking to the class about critical thinking. He asks if they would rather spend the summer reading out of a textbook or if they would rather "keep it real" and solve a murder. Shane perks up.

Nancy stops at U-Turn's house to give him the $2,000. He comments that she's $10k short and that kind of deficit is the sort of thing that "gets a n*gga shot." Nancy smirks and says, "Good thing I'm white." Ha! Suddenly, Marvin is being dragged in by two friends. He was shot when he went to get the mail. U-Turn suspects a rival Mexican gang. Marvin manages to sweetly say, "Hi Nancy," in between cries of pain. Luckily, his wound isn't serious, but they need to get Marvin to a doctor. U-Turn looks at Nancy and she says, "No! Absolutely not." Of course, the very next scene shows Nancy driving U-Turn and a bleeding Marvin toward the doctor. Not a doctor at a hospital, mind you, but someone that U-Turn knows who doesn't ask questions and is good at removing bullets. U-Turn admires Nancy's Prius and is even more impressed when Nancy's boss Sullivan (oh, so that's his name) calls her on her hands-free, touchscreen, phone...thingy and asks her if she delivered those packets. Nancy says yes but quickly hangs up when U-Turn starts demanding to know who is calling. On their way, U-Turn spots two members of the rival gang who gesture when they see him. He tells Nancy to circle the block and on the way back around he takes out his gun and shoots the two gang members. Nancy's jaw drops and she's too stupefied to do anything so U-Turn screams at her to drive.

Sullivan is once again gazing out of his office window and musing about Majestic's growth. This time it's Celia he's wooing and Sullivan says that he's heard that once you have Celia's vote, the rest will follow. Celia seems to be in for a much sweeter deal than Doug, though. Sullivan asks her what she plays. Does she play golf? No. Celia plays house. Go Celia!

Nancy picks up Shane from school, still rattled from having her drive-by shooting participation cherry popped. One of Shane's teachers kneels by the car to chat with Nancy and sing Shane's praises. Shane spots the blood stains on the back seat and Nancy says, "Mommy spilled some coffee." The teacher asks if they're Jewish and didn't Nancy's husband pass away? Nancy is out of it and says, "Most people thought he was Italian...I mean YES! Yes, he's passed. Hahahahaaha!" Shane reaches for something on the floor and says, "Are these shell casings?" The teacher looks confused and horrified but Nancy pulls away before the situation can disintegrate anymore.

At the city council meeting, the sole member of the Agrestic eco-warriors is protesting the Majestic sewage line project as it will be catastrophic for the dirt shrew population. Interesting that an eco-warrior would take up residence in a suburban sprawl nightmare like Agrestic. Anyway, the council goes on to vote in favor of the sewage line and Doug offers up a moment of silence for the dirt shrew. Then he and Celia fight over who gets to bang the gavel. On his way out, Sullivan winks at Celia. Doug spies this and demands to know what Celia got in exchange for her vote. Celia wordlessly pulls up one of the little houses from Sullivan's model of Majestic.

Andy skulks up to Nancy's house wearing a hoodie, sunglasses and a ridiculous ladies' wig. Nancy is attempting to scrub the blood stains out of her back seat when she sees him and says, "Andy?" Andy explains that "Andy" is dead and that he is "Bill." He spots the bullet holes in her car and Nancy cheerfully explains that she was in a drive by shooting yesterday and that she's pretty sure some other heinous thing will happen next because that's how things seem to roll. But, she says, as she holds out her steady hand for Andy to see, she's developed nerves of steel. Andy comments that she's obviously having a slow psychotic breakdown but wants to know real quick if she has any money. Nancy laughs and gives him a long list of things she does have, money not being one of them. Andy tells her to let the kids know he misses them before ducking and running away.

At Conrad's grow-warehouse, he and Heylia are discussing Marvin's shooting. There's some indication that they paid off the Mexicans to do the job. Interesting, but didn't Conrad realize that he might be putting Nancy at risk of getting shot? Vaneeta walks in with some male plants that need to be taken out of the growing population. Conrad goes into a drawer to grab a tool and we see a handgun sitting inside.

Andy has taken refuge at Sanjay's house and is ranting to Sanjay's non-English-speaking parents about his experiences over dinner. Sanjay interprets for them, omitting the crazier parts of Andy's monologue and inserting praises for his mother's vindaloo instead. Sanjay's parents are a little concerned about the fact that Andy is wearing a wig and want to know if Andy is gay. Sanjay insists that Andy is not gay and his father retorts that neither is Sanjay, he's just confused. Mom asks if Andy is one of his "special friends."

Silas comes home and reports that his dealings are still going well. Shane needs some help with his murder investigation homework and based on the confusing evidence, they determine that no murder took place.

Andy and Dean are meeting with a furious Army officer and an Army lawyer in Doug's office. Andy insists that he doesn't have their phone. The Army officer alludes to the fact that Andy and his battle buddy were lab rats for the phone that was some sort of new tracking device that attracts weapons. He also keeps telling Andy and Dean to "go suck yourself," which is kind of weird. The lawyer combats Andy's lack of cooperation by pointing out that the custodial staff work for them. The window washer erases Doug's hard drive with a remote hidden in a squeegee. Another guy in the hall turns his vacuum cleaner off and on at their command. Finally, the Army officer grabs Andy's manhood and refuses to let go until Andy begs Doug to hand over the phone. Andy then signs some papers that honorably discharge him from the Army. Well, at least that's over.

At school, Shane is proud to be the only one in the class who solved the murder mystery. When he states that there was no murder, Bob corrects him and says that there was. Murder of the worst kind. Jill, the main character, HAD AN ABORTION! He flashes one of those chopped up fetus pictures at the class, who all freak out and gasp and start praying. Shane is mortified.

Nancy drives Shane home and apologizes for how awful the school is. She opens the garage to find U-Turn standing there with Silas, grinning. He introduces himself to Shane and tells him to listen to his mother, because she's a gangsta. Nancy admonishes U-Turn for coming to her home but he brushes her off, saying he was just dropping off some goods for Silas and that he left Nancy a package to hold onto. Nancy notes that U-Turn has bought a Prius and he says that he actually bought seven and has his whole crew driving them. They're quiet, he explains, and good for sneaking up on motherf*ckers. He also brought Nancy a gift: a DVD of The Secret. Nancy rolls her eyes as U-Turn pulls away. In the garage, Nancy opens the trunk that U-Turn left and is horrified to discover that it contains a TON of heroin. The camera pans down to Nancy's hand to show that nerves of steel have disappeared. She's shaking like a leaf.

Next week: Mary Kate Olsen joins the cast!

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Okay, gotta say, heroin goes way above and beyond this being a quirky little show I like to watch. I'm not thinking this season is as entertaining as the others... Just more nerve-wrecking.


I think that rather than hiring the Mexicans to shoot Marvin, Conrad (at Heylia's behest) set the Mexicans up. When they showed the gun, Heylia had just said something about bad aim, and he joked that the Mexicans would have had better aim if they hadn't been using their Auntie's old gun. Leads me to believe that Conrad shot Marvin in order to start a war between the Mexicans and U-Turn, and hopefully get U-Turn out of the way. (And if he gets some of the Mexicans out of the way, probably so much the better for business anyway, since it seems like they deal too).


I've stopped watching but I'm keeping up by reading this. I'm pretty sure I'm glad I'm not watching.

Thanks for the updates, though. :)


I wouldn't worry too much about the heroin. If past trends in this show are anything to go by, they'll find a way out for Nancy before she gets into any real trouble. I'm guessing the odd conversation between Conrad and Heylia regarding the shooting will have something to do with it. Realistically, Nancy would have been arrested a long time ago considering the fact she's been bumbling along this whole time. But she's managed to get into some really sticky situations and come out clean.

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