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Weeds Recap


Last week, things went from horribly bad to really sucky for Nancy, which is an improvement. The main problem that she needs to deal with is the fact that her crooked husband was killed in the garage of her growhouse and no mention has been made of how that situation was dealt with. Is Peter decomposing away in the garage? Did the toe-eating pit bull make a snack out of him? Loose ends are no good, Nancy. Also, there's a burping DEA agent at your door.

Nancy gives Peter's partner that vacant look, which is somewhat genuine, but I don't think he's buying it. Nancy vaguely answers all of his questions with, "Yeeeeaaahhhhh...we broke up." The agent burps explains that Peter is missing and he's concerned since he was doing some independent undercover work. "Yeeeeaaahhhh...we broke up." I'm wondering if the agent considers the possibility that his reflux-induced burping was so gross that Peter went AWOL just to avoid hearing it anymore. Nancy once again states that they broke up and acts a little too unconcerned about the whole thing. She could at least throw in a "That's terrible. Hope you find him." The agent eyes her then makes his way back to his car, but stops to add, "He really liked you." I guess. When Nancy goes back inside, Silas and Shane are standing there looking uneasy. Shane asks, "Where is Peter?" Once again, Nancy states that they broke up. Silas asks if that will be a problem and Nancy says that it won't be. Silas asks how she knows that and Nancy replies, "Mommy just knows."

At a city council meeting, Matthew Modine is making a presentation about neighboring community Majestic. It seems that they have a plumbing problem and want to partner with Agrestic to reroute their sewage. Yay. Doug is in attendance and, much to Celia's dismay, isn't really paying much respect to the presenter. He slurps on a drink, clips his toenails (ew!) and busts out his electric shaver. Even so, Celia is all aflutter with Matthew Modine.

At home, Shane is helping Nancy to beef up her resume, giving her degrees from Berkeley and whatnot. Nancy takes a moment to ask Shane if she's noticed Peter's partner lurking about at all but he hasn't. Shane pauses and then says, "I'm proud of you, Mom." Nancy asks what for and Shane replies, "For getting a real job." Nancy and I both melt into puddles of mommy guilt.

Andy is still at training camp and his partner is as annoying as ever, squealing about how cool it is to be climbing over a rope fence in scorching heat and getting ready to go over to Iraq. Andy is not as enthusiastic, pointing out, "We're both going to die," and gripes about American hubris. His partner threatens to tattle on Andy for his pro-Muslim B.S. when they are called over by their commanding officer. The C.O. wants them to change and meet in his office in exactly 9 minutes. "What's up?" asks Andy which earns him a verbal thrashing.

The city council members and Doug are having a private meeting which consists of cooing over the model of Majestic and playing with its lights. Celia shows up and wants to know why Doug is there. The other members inform Celia that Doug thinks that they should go for the Majestic deal. Celia seethes.

Nancy has her job interview with Matthew Modine, of all people, and he is rather creepy. He asks about her time at Oxford University Press and Nancy stammers about how publishy it was. Matthew slinks around her and makes some comments on her appearance, then smells her hair and gushes about how it smells like coconut. He says that hiring her comes at a price of enduring his gross comments and asks if she's okay with that and Nancy replies, "As long as you're okay with being shot down every time." Ah, making sexual harassment work! As it turns out, Celia referred her for the job. Eh, it's the least she can do. Modine hires Nancy and gives her her very own crucifix lapel pin since they're some sort of faith-based organization. While he's pinning it on her, Nancy spies a car driving around slowly with a guy in sunglasses at the wheel. Is it burping DEA agent?

Silas is doing his community service, which is picking up trash along the roadside, and comments to the non-English-speaking guy beside him that he wishes he could smoke weed while doing this. The guy agrees and honestly, it's probably not a bad idea. You'd get into the zone and be all in to picking up trash...what? PTO mom Pam is there, as well. She asks Silas if he knew that if you drink and take an Ambien, you can randomly pass out and run into a boulder? Weird! Silas asks if Pam is drunk at the moment and she is, but it's okay because she's not currently driving. She then suggests that Silas take his shirt off and slurs into his ear that she's wet. Ugh, lady! Keep it in your pants!

Heylia and Conrad are putting the finishing touches on their growing warehouse and Conrad is all master botanist, which impresses Heylia. But she laments that his, uh, manlihood isn't as smart as his brain, otherwise he would have stayed away from Nancy in the first place. Conrad's done hearing about how he screwed up and points out that if they're going to work together, Heylia's going to have to get off his d*ck, dumb as it may be.

At the closed city council session, Celia reminds everyone that they decided to hire an independent accountant to determine if the Majestic plan is a good one, but eyes shift and she's informed that they don't have the budget for that. Instead, one of the other members quits the council and quick vote has Doug instated as an interim member. As his first act on the council, Doug hires the recently resigned member to do all of the contracting for the Majestic plumbing project. Celia warns Doug that he will not make this his corrupt empire again, that there will be checks and balances. Doug teases her, saying, "I'm shaking!" before breaking out the vodka, much to the delight of the other council members.

Nancy bounces into the house announcing, "Mommy got a job! Ice cream for everyone!" but Shane is the only one home. Nancy thanks Shane for his help but lets him know that employers do check resumes so they need to just thank god that she smells like coconut. Shane looks confused but knows better than to ask. Nancy's phone rings. It's U-Turn, who's calling during his massage from a guy named Yevgeny to let Nancy know that he wants his money, bitch. Nancy explains that she hasn't been able to sell his weed and this baffles U-Turn. "It's weed. Everybody likes it. Sell it and give me money, bitch!" Nancy goes on to tell him that there's a DEA agent lurking around and U-Turn snaps that the DEA have been up his ass since he popped out of his mother's "sacred place." U-Turn repeats that she needs to get him his money and hangs up. Nancy starts dialing and for a second I thought for sure she was going to call Peter's partner and rat on U-Turn but instead she calls the college and asks for the number for campus security.

Nancy meets with the campus guard that jacked her before and is trying to sell him the bags that she and Silas cut up. The guard questions the lightness of the bags but fortunately is too terrified of Nancy and the people that she knows to press her on the matter. Irritatingly enough, the guard doesn't have the money with him, so Nancy hops out of his car to wait for him while he goes to get it.

Andy and his battle buddy are in full gear and are standing in a field in the middle of nowhere. They've been given some crap assignment in which they just stand and wait. They have a camera phone, though, and Andy wants to have some fun while passing the time. So he starts taking pictures of his butt.

While waiting for the guard on campus, Nancy's paranoia goes into overdrive and she starts seeing suspicious looking dudes in sunglasses everywhere. She sees the same car that she saw at Matthew Modine's office and jumps up and hightails it out of there.

Andy's battle buddy has gotten into the spirit of things and is trying to light one of his farts on fire. He has performance anxiety though so he and Andy switch. Andy gets ready to ignite while his buddy stands a few feet away with the camera phone. Something catches his eye, though and he looks up to see a small (remote-controlled?) fighter jet heading toward him. Andy's butt gets splattered with blood and he turns around to see that his battle buddy has been impaled and killed by the fighter jet. What the? Did the Army set them up? Andy grabs the camera phone and takes off.

Celia is having dinner at some corny chain French restaurant when she is spied by Matthew Modine. He sits down at her table and chats her up, thanking her for referring Nancy. He asks if Celia lives around there and she says sort of, that she's in a hotel. Matthew Modine asks Celia to go out for drinks but she gets all flustered and says that there's somewhere she needs to be. Yeah, he's pretty icky, Celia. Even for you.

Nancy is slumped on her couch, not answering her cell phone. She sees that she has five new messages so she decides to start listening to them. The first message is from U-Turn and is peppered with "bitch"es. Nancy hangs up without listening any further. Silas walks in wearing his safety vest. He tells Nancy that his community service is totally unsupervised, that he can pretty much do whatever he wants and that he's meeting a lot of cool people, hinting toward the fact that he wants to start selling to his fellow ne'er-do-wells. Nancy says that she will never let him deal, but Silas points out that she doesn't have a choice. "I know you don't," he says. Nancy says that she doesn't want this for him, but he's already out the door. "Come back here," she says to the empty room.

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I LOVE this show -- miss the old theme song though, it was great. My biggest problem is I can not find the show on TV right now... for the love of pete when is it on!! please help me reunited with the crew... please.

Suzy Q

Thanks for another great recap, Kelly. What up with that Army drone thing? I suppose they had to get Andy out of the Armsy somehow.

kr: New shows air Monday nights at 10:00 PM; reruns all week. The theme song hasn't changed, it's just performed by different artists every week.

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