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Weeds Recap


Nancy, I do NOT approve of your dalliances with Sullivan. As long as you are in The Game, you need to stick with people who do not have the potential or incentive to screw you over. Peter was a REALLY bad idea, Sullivan's not much better, but would you please just marry Conrad? Please?

Business is moving along for the Suburban Baroness of Bud. Sanjay delivers a wad of cash on a frat paddle and says that the brothers of Alpha Sigma Whatever send their regards. Tara has some bills from the youth pastor at her church. Andy has a wad that is soggy, because he was at the water park. Nancy happily collects all of this money and hands over huge bags of weed to her distributors.

Doug is at his computer looking up male lactation. Because....? Nancy hands him an envelope containing $20,000. Not too shabby, Nance! She tells him to put it back into the Agrestic account. Doug explains that there is no more Agrestic and there was some shady action with taking a loan from Majestic...I don't know, I've never been very good at embezzling. Anyway, Doug wants to keep the money for capital. Nancy tells him to watch his back since Sullivan is on the war path, especially after that sewage pipe incident. Doug insists it was an act of God, so Nancy tells Doug to tell God to watch His back.

Nancy comes home and is making some plans on the phone with Valerie. Andy tells her that she got a call from Roy Till. The name doesn't ring any bells. Andy tells her that Captain Roy Till with the DEA wants her to come down because she's probably been expecting a call from them. Nancy's jaw drops and she looks pretty pale. "That was my reaction," says Andy.

Celia shuffles into the kitchen of her old house where Isabelle is reading some medication side effects to Dean. "Wake up. Wake up!" moans Celia. "It's not a dream," snaps Isabelle. "I have no memory of giving birth to you," says Celia. "None whatsoever." Isabelle gives Celia some instructions, namely that she has to change Dean's diaper. "There is no god," says Celia. Dean tells her that she has to change his diaper before he gets a rash because that can lead to infection, which his body can't fight off right now. "You're enjoying this, seeing me miserable," says Celia, to a man who is confined to a wheelchair, wearing diapers and in a considerable amount of pain. "It's the only silver lining of a very dark cloud," says Dean.

Nancy shows up at the DEA wearing this dress that makes me green with envy. She tells a sour-looking woman that she has an appointment with Captain Till. The woman tells her he's been expecting her and as Nancy makes her way back to Till's office, everyone whispers about her presence. Captain Till looks at Nancy and says that he has questions. "You do?" says Nancy, working her wide eyes for all they're worth. He wants to know why Nancy didn't use Peter's last name, which...I don't see why that's his business or why that's even that suspicious in this day and age, but Nancy says it's because of her kids. Till also muses about the fact that they kept their marriage so quiet. Nancy asks if she needs a lawyer, but Till is just surprised that she didn't come to them sooner so that she can get what's coming to her. He hands Nancy a check for Pete's life insurance amounting to $119,000 and tells her that pension payments will be on their way. "That should close the books on all of this," says Till. "All of this?" asks Nancy. Till is looking to sweep Pete's dirty work under the rug and should his side projects not remain in the past, it could affect his pension. He asks Nancy if she understands and she says, "Yes. Totally." Nancy grabs a box of Pete's stuff from his desk and receives a sympathetic hug from the sour woman on the way out.

At the growhouse, Conrad is lecturing Silas on setting timers for the lights so that the plants get the right amount of sunlight. He asks how stuff at home is, specifically how Nancy is doing. Silas says that his mom is a tough read. Conrad quizzes Silas some more on his growing abilities and berates him for allowing some of the plants to get sick. "That's money out of my pocket," says Conrad. Silas suddenly remembers that he has money for Conrad. "It just slipped your mind that there's thousands of dollars in your backpack?" says Conrad. "Oh, I forgot there's a diamond up my ass. Want it?" snots Silas. Conrad psh-es at Silas and leaves, telling him to make sure to tell Nancy hi for him.

Shane is whining at Nancy for telling him that they were going to go the Apple store but instead took him to the amusement park to play with Peter's son. They seem to get along pretty well, though. As Shane and Tim play miniature golf, they yell at each other and call each other names that are variations of dildo. Val sits down on a bench with Nancy and hands her a slushie. Nancy asks Val what she owes her and Val says, "About $119,000." Val is, to say the least, a little annoyed that Nancy took the money and got married to Peter without ever telling her. Nancy tries to explain that it was a drunken weekend and offers to transfer the money to Val. They fight a little bit more, Val pointing out that the money really is Tim's. Nancy sees her point. "Your son is annoying," says Val. "Oh, glass house-dwelling person!" retorts Nancy. Val says that she's putting the stone down and re-offers the slushie to Nancy. "Come on, the ugly confrontation part of the day is over."

Later, Nancy is at home playing some Wii tennis. Doug stops in and announces that he needs $100,000 because Majestic is checking their books tomorrow. Nancy breaks the bad news that she bought ten more bricks since Doug told her that they should re-invest in their business. Doug freaks out and says that he's going to jail. Worst of all, "There's no sushi in jail. Unless you count d*ck." Ha! Nancy isn't clear on the financial situation and Doug explains that he took out another $50,000 and got Lasik and some other stuff. Nancy says that she might have access to some money and sends Doug upstairs to take a bath, advising him to use the bath bomb with the carbonation. Andy comes downstairs and starts rooting through the fridge. Nancy says that she needs to say something out loud. "I killed Peter," she says. Andy says that they all knew that and that he guessed poison. Nancy is pleased that her family thinks she's a murderer, but she clarifies that if she had never met Peter, he'd still be alive. "I taught Stephanie Cooper how to give head," says Andy. "She died when the guy she was blowing drove into a swamp." Obviously, Andy is not too broken up about this since you can't steer fate. Nancy tells him about the life insurance money and that she's trying to figure out how she's going to swing the fact that she promised it to Val and Doug. "Or you could give it all to me," offers Andy.

Sullivan rings Celia's doorbell. "I'm not Sullivan," he says to her. "I'm the Easter Bunny and I want your basket." Celia tells him to hold on a second, goes inside and pushes Dean into the laundry room. She turns the dryer on and says, "If you make any noise, you'll be sitting in that diaper for a week." Sullivan comes in and they start making out. Sullivan is so impressed by Celia and how she is taking care of Dean. "You're the most selfless woman I know," says Sullivan. "I am. I'm wonderful," says Celia. They hop up on the kitchen counter, but Dean can see them through the slats of the laundry room door and starts giggling. Sullivan asks what the noise was and Celia says it was the dog. Sullivan opens the laundry room and is greeted by a barking Dean. Sullivan tells Celia that they ought to take a break and that he'll call her.

Nancy shows up at soccer practice and Tim kicks a ball at her head. "He still hates me," says Nancy. "He's dedicated," says Val. Nancy hands Val an envelope with $4,000 and says that it's a down payment. Val understandably freaks out and explains that she is maxed out on her credit cards and has creditors breathing down her neck. "I am working a middle class job in a Bush economy!" she shouts, much to the chagrin of the other soccer moms. Nancy tries to explain that she will give all the money back to her but Val is convinced that she's spent it already. Nancy says that Val's not ready to listen and turns to leave. Tim kicks the ball at her again, but Nancy holds onto it and takes it with her. Tim whines at Val that Nancy is taking his ball and Val shouts back, "F*ck your ball, she took our hundred grand!"

At a meeting with the folks from Majestic, Doug hands them a check for the missing money and manages to explain away the outstanding loan to Aquatecture, spinning some b.s. about it being minority-owned and a community triumph or something. The councilwoman is skeptical but Doug has sold the guys. One of them has a wife that's crazy about fountains, so Doug said that he'll get fountains for everyone at cost.

Isabelle, Celia, and Dean are eating dinner. Isabelle is feeding Dean pot pie. Celia, looking mighty disheveled, starts sobbing. Isabelle scrunches up her face and hands Celia a napkin.

Nancy shows up at Sullivan's office. He's irritated that she's been M.I.A. "You're a sh*tty assistant but your skin's like milk and you're almost as smart as me," he says. He tells her that she could have been really good in business if she hadn't been a mom. Nancy challenges him to ravage her on the conference table like a real man...so he does. But Celia has stopped by and sees this going on. She's tarted up in a red bustier thing and is bearing the traditional "Sorry I Stashed My Ex-Husband in the Laundry Room While We Were Boning," cupcakes. She looks devastated.

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I LOVE this show. Some of the one-liners this season have been priceless. "Thug means never having to say you're sorry." "There's no sushi in jail, unless you count di*k."

I look forward to your recaps as much as I enjoy actually watching the show. It's almost like I get two episodes a week!

Suzy Q

I hear you on that dress Nancy wore to the DEA. Nice! But, a bit too cleavage-showy for a police department. Plus, I had already figured out about the life insurance money. I'm just surprised she seems so willing to give it up to Valerie.

A point of contention: Anyone in Dean's condition would have been sent to a rehab facility. He is too fucked up to be home.

Overall, another sort of meh episode. Thanks for the recap, Kelly!


Suzy, I think she feels guilty for taking the money away from Tim, although he's a total dillweed.

What this episode made me wonder is why didn't Judah have a pension? How can she get money from a dude she was married to for a few months, and nothing from her "real" husband??

Finally - this question has been bugging me for the whole duration of the show - how did Nancy get into the pot business in the first place??? They never say, right?


Christin, I don't know about Judah's pension but I remember someone saying in one episode that they used his life insurance to pay for their new kitchen. such a bad idea. from what I can piece together, andy used to sell with conrad and that's how nancy knew about him. once she realized she was up shit creek, she got in touch with conrad and heylia to find out about selling.

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