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Posh Plots Pregnancy*


So, that Posh is pregnant rumor? Make that, a Posh is planning to be pregnant rumor. That is, if she can get over her fear of a fourth baby making her stretch marks worse, and if hubby David can properly jack up his sperm through an alkaline-rich diet, the better to get them prepped to make a baby girl.

According to Britain's Now magazine:

The pair are desperate to have a girl and will go to any lengths to improve the chances of this happening. This includes putting David, 32, on a special alkaline-rich diet designed to strengthen his sperm.

(But) “Victoria’s got major issues about having another baby. She’s terrified of putting on any weight, but she has to if she wants to fall pregnant... (and) She’s paranoid that the sagging skin around her tummy will get worse than it already is after three Caesarean sections.

Too much information? Yeah, for me too. I didn't need to know that all those couture corset tops were designed to keep Posh's sagging belly in place, nor did I need to know that Posh nags her husband about constantly shooting X-chromosome sperm through that tractor pipe of his

Truth be told, it's good to hear that Posh struggles with the same pre- and post-natal body anxieties as the rest of us. But I'm willing to bet that any discussion of David's sperm is just one more excuse to talk about his dong. You know, in case we forget about the priapic wonders that we're missing out on, just because we're not Victoria Beckham, flabby bellies or no.

*The restraint I had to exercise to not subtitle this post, 'The Sperm Thickens.' THE RESTRAINT.


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Here I thought people with money could pay to have girl babies if they wanted to. Not sure HOW I thought this possible, I just guessed that modern medicine allows for such a thing if the money is right.

Can they show us his penis already? I want proof.

Mrs. Kennedy

My god, are those winter weight tights? Is she taking up ice skating now?

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