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Is Madonna Is Or Is She Ain't Divorcing Guy Ritchie?

Madonnadivorcecc Sometimes the gossip gods move too quickly for me. I had just wrapped my around the story that Madonna was preparing divorce proceedings against Guy Ritchie, to take effect 18 months hence (which, okay, not in itself confounding, but that 18 month proviso? Weird), when, bam, the word is out that no way are they divorcing, they're just busy and spend too much time apart, blah blah blah. But that's, you know, just the rep spouting PR crap, right? ("I am delighted to confirm that Mr. and Mrs. Guy Ritchie remain happily married." Reelly? PUH-leeze.) And the gossipnets keep chirping about separation this and divorce that and oh, hey, did you notice that Guy didn't show up for her Hall of Fame induction omg???

So what's a former-Madonna-wannabe-turned-grown-up-gossip-whore to think?

My money is on pending divorce. I mean (and I say this as a formerly devout Madonna fan), Madge looks like a bitter, grasping old meanie, desperately clinging to relevancy, and that - and those hideous leotards, not to mention the leering at Justin Timberlake - is just not good for a marriage.

(That, and have you seen pictures of Guy Ritchie lately? Dude looks like he's in a constant state of shell-shock, like he's getting his knuckles - or something - rapped with a stick every day and just doesn't know what he's done to deserve it.)

So, yeah, I'm betting that they'll stick it out as long as they can - get that adoption finalized, throw Page Six off their scent - and then, whammo, there'll be a flurry of headlines about a friendly divorce and then we'll read that Madonna has stolen Djimon Hounsou from Kimora Lee Simmons and it'll all be about the cat fight. Guy Ritchie, sadly, will be entirely forgotten until he makes a sequel to Swept Away starring Tara Reid and that guy who plays Dr. Who, at which point everyone will be all, hey, wasn't that the guy that Madonna screwed?

Can't wait.

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San Francisco Photos

Maybe ... we'll just have to wait and see like everyone else!

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