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Celebumom Fashion

You know what I wanted to do when I was pregnant and big as a house, seven long years ago? I wanted to sit around and watch my ankles swell, but mostly I didn't want to wear eighteen yards of fabric that made me look like Orson Welles. And yet that seems to be what the stores are selling these days: fitted separates have gone the way of Baywatch, and muumuus are back with a vengeance!


I'll admit, though, they do cover a multitude of sins. Cellulite? Varicose veins? Not in my backyard, says Gwen Stefani. Jessica Alba and more after the jump.

So today's message is, go ahead and drape a giant swath of fabric around your largest part and let the chips fall where they may! Who cares! Give me another cheeseburger! Whee! Even Jessica Alba will smile at that:


Shanna Moakler is channelling Nellie Olsen on her wedding night, apparently, but at least she's happy about it:


Angelina, I blame you for lending credibility to the formalwear-as-daywear trend, but I have to admit, some days a giant silk sack is exactly what to wear.


There's a butterfly metaphor in there somewhere.

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Do you notice that the only people wearing these are waif-thin. If you were heavy wearing this you would look ridiculous...


Is that Edge from U2 in that last picture? He's so dreamy.... :)


Is Moakler knocked up again? Or is that an old picture? Man, those two wacky kids break up/get fertile every other day!

Mrs. Kennedy

Yup, that's the Edge.

I can't seem to find anything confirming Moakler's pregnancy, but she's got a belly and she's dressed for comfort so I just went and assumed. This is how rumors start, I know.


Sadly, Gwen Stefani is probably responsible for this, since she's added clothing designer to her resume.

I thought the Moaklers were broken up, also. Can someone buy her a bra, please? Cuz if she's actually preggy in that pic, the girls need some support! Although, IMO, she's not looking to pregnant in the belly or the boobies in that pic.


OMG I would have loved this trend. To be free of the falling down pants? Heaven. Maybe I get pregnant now just to wear muumuu.


So here's a question...When The Edge's mom gets mad at him, what does she call him? "The Cutting Edge! You get over here right now!" Does he have a middle name? I wonder about these things. Please to enlighten.

Also the flowy drapey preggy thing? Great for TALL people who are THIN to begin with. Not so hot for a five foot five big chested girl who tends to be cylinder shaped to begin with. Just saying.


I used to swear that I wouldn't be caught dead in a muumuu, but since I've officially entered the "don't give a rat's tiny ass" stage of my pregnancy I've found myself wearing these tent dresses. They are incredibly comfortable, and since I can no longer reach my legs I can get away without shaving.


I admit it. I bought a long, drag-on-the-floor black stretchy sundress after seeing Angelina and Gwen in all the long, flowy things. I am a sheep. (Plus, like Nora said, maternity pants are such a falling-down hiking-up pain.)

As long as I never see a photo of what my pregnant ass looks like in the dress, I should be okay, because in my MIND I look awesome. And that's what matters, right?


I bet they're just tired of people saying "OMG! Is huge! Ready to pop and two months left!" or, alternately, "OMG! Is too tiny for number of weeks along! Is anorexic star starving fetus?" and decided, screw it, I'm going with the tent and they can all guess at the size.

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