MamaPop Confessional: Reality TV Guilty Pleasures

OK, betches, fess up. While the majority of us are intelligent, savvy connoisseurs of quality television, sometimes, we watch some total crap.

We know it's wrong. We know what our friends would think if they found out. We know how the neighbors would talk if they peeked in through the flickering blinds and saw what we were doing. And yet, the siren call of bad television is often unbearable and irresistible.

For example, we would probably never publicly admit to it, but some of us saw every episode of VH1's reality series, The Pickup Artist. I mean, I'm not saying I watched that show, but some of us might have.

It was a friend of mine, actually. And she's totally going to watch the second season, too.

Even though I recognize the difference between quality programming and utter shit, I have to admit to having watched some really terrible TV in my time. So, ladies, it's confession time.

Bless me, Nielsen, for I have sinned:

The following are my top five guilty pleasures of the past and present.

5. The Millionaire Matchmaker

As a feminist, this show really strained my cringe muscles, but I watched it weekly with great zeal, anyway. I love how Patti Stanger tries to weed out gold diggers, as if any of these model/actresses are actually applying for her services because of all the charity work the bachelors do.

4. Hell's Kitchen

I wouldn't trust most of the contestants to make a grilled cheese sandwich, let alone a Wellington, and none of them should be managing so much as a Dairy Queen, yet I must tune in to see who wins the position as Pretend Head Chef of a five-star restaurant, which will actually have a competent executive chef to keep the winner from burning the place down, thank goodness.

3. Rock Star: Supernova

I tuned in every week to watch people with more talent in their pinkies than Tommy Lee and crue crew contained in their entire collection of leather pants vie for the spot as lead singer in the "supergroup" Supernova, whose album is available now in a Walmart bargain bin near you!
For the record, I was a Storm Large fan.

2. The Pickup Artist

Because, seriously, does this shit actually work on anyone with two brain cells to rub together? This show is the second-most unintentionally hilarious reality show I have ever seen. Second, only to...

1. Rock of Love

Why not Flavor of Love, you ask? Because the only thing worse than a show about a bunch of women fighting over a washed-up musician is a KNOCK OFF of a show about a bunch of women fighting over a washed-up musician. Seriously, some of these girls deserve Golden Globes for their abilities to even halfway convincingly act earnestly attracted to the tanorexic, wig-wearing, washed-up Bret Michaels.

 

Well, having gotten all that off my chest, I feel a great weight has lifted. So, tell me, what's your guilty pleasure?

Comments

[HeatherPride]

At least those shows featured people. My biggest guilty pleasure was the ridiculous reality show "Groomer Has It" which featured...dogs. And the people who groom them. Oh, let the hilarity ensue!

[kristi]

I must admit to watching every episode of the Bad Girls Club.

[margemayhem]

I have watched all those in your post. Although I stopped watching Hell's Kitchen. It just doesn't do it for me after Top Chef. My new guilty pleasure is "Ashley Paige: Bikini or Bust" on TLC.

[missbanshee]

Three simple words, my friends, and you'll never look at me the same again.

Criss. Angel. Mindfreak.

I'll see myself out, thanks.

[ivymae]

Does 'The Soup' count as reality TV? If so, that is my crack. We DVR it and make a date night out of watching it each week when the kids are finally asleep.

[DianaCLT]

I enjoyed me some "Rock Star Supernova," as well.

I watched the first season of "Rock of Love," but haven't been able to bring myself to such torture again.

I LOVED the "Surreal Life." Oh where did you go, dysfunctional celebs? (Oh - that's right...you all went and got your own "reality" shows...)

I am watching "The Two Coreys." Though 'tis far from reality, IMO.

And...*gulp*...I watched that first spin-off of "Surreal Life." What was it called? The one that came before "Flava of Love?" The one with Flava and Brigitte Nielsen. (sobs!) I am so ashamed!

[The Muse]

Rock of Love 1, 2 and the soon to appear, 3. (Yes, it's happening and on a tour bus!). I Love Money (probably one of Kristabella and my faves... hello, trashier version of the Real World/Road Rules Gauntlet?). And you can bet your dollas that I will be watching whatever spin-off show Heather (ROL1/ILM) gets.

[DianaCLT]

"The Soup" is fabulous! And no need to confess about it. It rips the reality shows to shreds. It IS our salvation for our TV viewing sins!

[Snarky Amber]

ivymae, if watching The Soup is wrong, I don't want to be right.

[Snarky Amber]

miss banshee?

NO. STOP THAT. Don't make me rub your nose in the carpet.

[Sarah, Goon Squad Sarah]

Fine. I watch "Shear Genius" the hair cutting one on Bravo.

Religiously.

[Carie]

For me it is this...don't all laugh at the same time...
Tori and Dean Home Sweet Hollywood
I am addicted. Shhhhhhh!

[Robyn]

Oh Carie, I just opened up the comments to admit to my horrible "Tori and Dean" addiction, and there you were, like an angel in the night, guiding my way. That show is utter crap, and I want to hate them. It's just, well, I kind of love them. And how about the Big Brother series? All of them, every single one, ever. Even the internet feeds. My head hangs in shame.

[WabiSabiLife]

Snapped. On oxygen. **hides face**

[murray]

confession. i have watched every show above. religously. i also watch big brother...so you think you can dance...next food network tv star...design star...project runway...etc etc etc...the list goes on and on...

[jodifur]

The Scoot Baio reality show and My Fair Brady. And the Tori Spelling reality show.

[Georgia]

No one has mentioned Bridezilla?! I adore that show, but makes me never want to get married. I also consider it free couple's therapy for my boyfriend and I because it makes me want to be as drama free as possilbe.

[Karen]

Georgia--I occasionally watch Bridezillas, but not often because it literally makes my head hurt. Especially the episode with the couple getting married for a second time (after divorcing), and it was quite obvious to all and sundry a) why they had gotten divorced and b) why they should not get married again, because c) the woman was frakking insane.

Also, nobody has mentioned "Shear Genius" which is my top guilty pleasure. It tortures my husband to watch, I'm sure, but he is such a good sport and even disses the bad haircuts with me.

I'm not sure it's a guilty pleasure, but I also like Food Network's Challenge shows, especially when there are huge, ugly cakes being made, or sugar sculptures that go CRASH BLAM BLOOEY onto the floor after the pretentious pastry chef has been working for oh, seven hours straight. Because I'm evil. So, yeah, that's a guilty pleasure right there.

[Snarky Amber]

I forgot to mention that I love love LOVE Flipping Out. Anyone?

Also, I may or may not have watched every episode of the extreme makeover/beauty pagaent train wreck, The Swan.

[Kim]

Design Star is my first toe-dip into reality TV. The designer who left? and cried for his mom? That reminded why I shun reality TV.

However, I will watch the finale Sunday. Just to find out who wins. :)

[sweetney]

oh hai, i'm tracey, and i've watched ALL OF THESE.

now, true: i tend to not stick with them. but there's nary a low i won't sink to when it comes to the imbibing of bad reality tv.

I Love Money, anyone? HELL-OOO?

[DianaCLT]

Jodifur! I forgot about the Scott Baio and Christopher Knight reality shows! Ack! HOW COULD I FORGET?!? I HAD TO tune in each week to see which part of my life Scott Baio (big ol' copycat that he is) would copy next! Seriously - they used my OB, had their kid in the same hospital as mine, showed up at my church...even used the same freakin' hypnotherapist that I used! ACK!!!!

[Toni]

I was hooked on Dr. Drew's Celebrity Rehab.

[Heidi]

I swore, swore, swore I wouldn't watch Tila Tequila. And then I got hooked.
(I can't stand to watch it anymore, though. One season of bisexual fame-whoring is my limit.)

[DianaCLT]

ACK! More! I remember MORE! I also loooved me some "Celebrity Rehab" (and Dr. Drew, in particular). And "Rock the Cradle!"

[laura]

Snarky, I LOVE "Flipping Out." Currently DVR that, Project Runway, Shear Genius, My Life on the D-List and Must Love Kids (which I am liking so far.) O.K. Apparently, I can't live without the Bravo channel...or my DVR.

[Lauren]

Two confessions:
1. Wipeout. Wouldn't be quite so embarassing if I din't die laughing the ENTIRE time. BIG. TEARS. OF. LAUGHTER.

2. I Survived a Japaneese Game Show. I was recently in Hawaii and wanted to stop every Japaneese tourist and ask them if they had been on a Japaneese game show, thankfully I have a husband who embarasses easily and wouldn't let me...sigh..

MAJEDA!!!

[deirdre]

I have not yet seen, but intend to, the Denise Richards reality show. I see it on the tv guide, flip to it, it's on commercial, and I flip on to something else. But I know that when I catch that first golden moment of Denise acting . . . nay, *being* herself, I'll be hooked forever.

[Gail]

No one is watching "From Gs to Gents" except me? This can not be true.