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Ronaldo Gives Paris Hilton the Cold Shoulder

Ronaldo

I wonder how many times Paris Hilton has been rejected after throwing her legs around a guys' neck? While that other Madden brother was away - you know, the one Hilton is soooo in love with, Hilton made a play for the soccer (we call it SOCCER in 'Mericuh, kids) star. The result? FAIL.

Perhaps I'm begging the question, but does Ronaldo have a last name? Or is this another Madonna, Cher, Jordan, deal? I mean, when I think of the name Ronaldo by itself to introduce a person, I think of a guy who abuses product and slicks every lock of his hair; a slightly greasy guy, a guy who may wear an all-white suit with hideous belt buckle to an awards show.

Oh. Hi.

Ronaldo2

No, I wasn't talking about YOU, Ronaldo. I was talking about SOME OTHER greasy-looking club guy. Really, you look great. And blindingly white. Kay! Get well soon! Bye!

Ohmygawd, I'm glad HE'S gone. Yes, THIS is the greasy-looking Ronaldo that Hilton was desperately trying to attract early yesterday morning at LA club Villa.

Apparently her usual mating tactic of screaming "I'M PARIS HILTON AND I'M SOTALLY TOBER!" didn't work, so Hilton was forced to actually use her more virginal feminine tricks. When batting her eyelashes didn't work, Hilton wonked over to his table for attention; when that didn't work she sat next to him; and when that failed she tried to dry hump snuggle up on him, but he reportedly turned his back on her.

Oh ouch, BURN! Hilton had to wonk back over to her table alone. I make fun of Ronaldo and his "type," but it takes someone of his societal stature to knock someone like her down a few rungs. It wasn't the first time Hilton's less-than-discreet behavior cost her: the family of her ex, Greek shipping heir Stavros Niarchos, reportedly loathed her and Niarchos dumped her when he became fed up with her partying.

Poor less-famous Madden brother. Any bets on how long that will last?    







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Comments

heidi

The name's Cristiano Ronaldo and I'm glad you posted some icky pics instead of hot ones--just increases my chances!

Titi

Hello Amy, his name is Cristiano, his last name is Ronaldo :)

Cheryl

I'm so glad he didn't hit that up. I need him to marry my little sister, so I was hoping he'd have at least a little class. These are some terrible photos of him, though.

robin laid

Ronaldo aint his last name. His full name is Cristiano Ronaldo Dos Santos Aveiro

Portuguese Chick

HEYYY! no need to talk about Cristiano like that. hes like the sexiest guy alive.


but yea. paris. who gives a shit. =)

Fox Elipsus

You'd think that someone taking time to put together a blog/article like this would take at least 30 seconds away from the usual thinking you know everything, and do just a tiny bit of research on the people you are commenting about. Just a tiny bit. Yes, you seem to know every last detail about Paris Hilton, but you obviously haven't a clue who Cristiano Ronaldo is - a lot more famous worldwide than Paris, let me tell you - and therefore, you really come off sounding even less intelligent than you paint Paris as being. I'm sure you don't really care, but you just made a fool of yourself in front of millions. That's hot!

PS
Seriously - take my advice. Think before you write. Punch a name into google before you write. And if that's still the best you come up with, pass the torch on to someone who has a clue!

Dana

"Fox," it's because I prefer a real sport, like American football or boxing.

I kid. No, I don't follow soccer as it's under-broadcasted here and frankly, I don't care enough. But it still stands: any man as tan as beef jerky with that much product in their hair deserves to be the butt of a joke.

Have a nice day.




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