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Speidi Goes To War

Heidi_montagspencerpratthungrykidta


I don't know why nobody thought of this before. I mean, it's a sure-fire way to wrap things up in Iraq for once and for all, for sure.

Seriously. Especially if Heidi wears those hot pants from her clothing line and sings that craptastically awesome song that Spencer produced. Instant surrender of any and all opposing forces in Iraq! They'll be all, like, PLEEZ! Bring us ur McDonalds, ur Britney, ur equality of wimmins, ur rule of law! But! This Speidi? DO NOT WANT.

And then it'll all be, like, done, and we can all be like HA, Dick Cheney! You wish you thought of this! America, f*ck yeah!

One small step forward for stability in the Middle East, one giant step backwards for humanity's soul, but whatever. That betch has been sliding backwards, fast, for a long time. I'm kinda getting used to it.

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Comments

b

On the bright side, they might be put in prison for ransom by the enemy. Too bad the US doesn't negotiate with terrorists!

(I know how awful that would be in reality, but it's a fun fantasy to imagine Democrats and Republicans uniting NOT to release Speidi from Iraq.)




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