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An Open Letter To Jordin Sparks: Do Not Call Me A Slut.

Jordinsparksfoto Dear Ms. Sparks:

I was writhing in agony through the trainwreck that was the VMAs the other night when you said this little zinger as a response to Russell "Bad Touch" Brand's comments about The Jonas Brothers being virgins and wearing promise rings. AND I QUOTE:

"I just have one thing to say about promise rings?  It's not bad to wear a promise ring because not everybody, guy or girl, wants to be a slut."

I'm sorry, what did you just call me?

I assure you that I found Mr. Brand's comments puerile and stupid, but I don't think you realized, nay, I HOPE you did not realize what you were actually saying. When did the subject of sex become such a black and white issue? Where was I when the middle ground between "virgin" and "slut" disappeared?

Full disclosure, Ms. Sparks. Back in the early nineties when I was a high school student, (the main populace in the "promise ring" crowd,) the vast majority of promises I was making involved swearing to God that if he kept me from vomiting pilfered wine coolers in my parents' begonias, I would never torment Sr. Doris in Religion class ever again. I was no angel, by any means. But when it came to sex, there are several promises I made. To myself.

I promised that I would always, ALWAYS use protection. And that meant the Pill AND condoms Every. Single. Time. No substitutions. No excuses.

I promised that when I lost my virginity (at the ripe old age of 17) it would be a thought-out process, safe, and something I was completely at peace with, instead of pressured into or out of by anyone.

I promised to respect myself, and not give it up to any choad who played guitar and said I was pretty.

I promised to do everything in my power to embrace and celebrate my sexuality, not treat it like a sin, or evil, or shameful, or SLUTTISH, no matter what was said behind my back or sneered in my face.

And I promised that I would make a serious effort to make known my respect for other people's choices regarding sex, in hopes that they would respect mine.

And you call me a slut.

Am I against teenagers vowing to abstain from sex? Most certainly not. Do I think promise rings are stupid? Hell, you can wear rings on your fingers and bells on your toes and a bedazzled chastity belt for all I care.  But do I condone calling anyone who doesn't abstain a slut? I assure you, Ms. Sparks, I do not. I could give a fiddler's fart what you do or don't do in your bedroom, the back of your boyfriend's Camaro, or behind the bleachers at school. And I would hope that you wouldn't care what I, or anyone else did either. And I really, really wish I didn't just hear you call the non-married, sexually active watchers of the VMAs sluts.

Perhaps if we all focused more on responsible sex and less on name calling, more young people would make the right, responsible, PERSONAL decisions regarding sex.

In closing, Ms. Sparks, let me just say that I promise you that accusing nameless masses of being sluts is immature, ill-thought out, inaccurate, and mean. And speaking of "S" words, I have two for you.

Sanctimonious Shithead.

Best to you and yours,

Miss Banshee







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Comments

Natasha @ Becoming Something

It's true that she insinuated that to lose your virginity before marriage = "slut". But I am confident she was just exaggerating, giving whatshisname a taste of his own medicine. It's not like she had a lot of time (or permission) to launch a formal debate. When people speak out of anger/indignation, they tend to exaggerate their points.

But, being indignant in response is good blog fodder. I get it. :-)




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