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Ouch! Guy Ritiche Likened Madonna to "Cuddling a Piece of Gristle"


I once heard a man proclaim "I really think she could beat my ass" once when speaking of Madonna. Without the head, without the boobs, Madonna does have a man's physique. As the dirty details from her divorce seep into the gossip pages, it's revealed that the singer spends two hours a day, six days a week in the gym come hell or high water.Guy Ritchie is said to have told a friend that sex with her was like "snuggling a piece of gristle."

I compare Madonna's figure to the golden softness of say, Dita Von Teese's physique -  or any celebrity whose thighs don't like like they could crack walnuts, or men's heads - and the former does not come out the winner in my book.

Scientifically, women have an extra layer of body fat whereas men do not. It serves a greater purpose but is also a tool of attraction; I've heard the opposite sex go on and on about the softness of a woman's skin. Personally, I think women with figures, women with curves, women who are confident enough to feel sexy in their own skin, are hot. I don't like the chiseled abs look on a woman, I don't like to see every muscle and tendon in a woman's arms (the same for a man, in my opinion), and not because I suspect that they possess the strength to possibly whoop me down, either. I even like, to borrow from "Pulp Fiction," bellies.

It seems so natural; the female body is capable of so many miracles and we can wear badges of those miracles, but we live in a society where it's not uncommon for a woman to get a tummy tuck before she's sewn up after a c-section.

I realize that this is my own personal two cents here, but I'm curious as to what the rest of you think - especially the few brave men that frequent this site. Is Madonna's type of physique attractive? Do you think that someone can be too devoted to physical fitness? Or do you find it empowering and base the attractiveness on that? Chime away!


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I don't know if Madonna is attractive to men, but my husband said he might question the sexuality of any man who liked her body. To get a glimpse of what my husband does like in a celeb figure, think Beyonce.


We saw her show last week and my husband said he was glad we had nose-bleed seats because he didn't want to see her close-up.


Nope, I don't think that type of physique is attractive. If it was natural for us to look so toned and muscular, it wouldn't requires hours and hours of exercise and weight training to accomplish it. Even on men, being too cut like that is unattracive to me.

And don't even get me started on the bodybuilder physique. Oh, man. It makes me want to gag.


I think strong but curvy is the absolute ideal. You know- when you can tell that a woman's body is strong underneath, but there's still enough plumpness to soften the edges and fold nicely. That's what I want to look like, not a walking anatomical lesson like Madonna. That's why I love bellydancing- strong muscles, lots of jiggle.


Wow. And here I thought that women had a right to control their bodies. Well, I guess you are right and Madonna's sole purpose on this earth is to serve as your eye-candy.

Bummer she's not more attractive. That must suck for you.


This is the new standard for "high society" women. I've seen it on other well-heeled women living in places like New York and London. Kelly Ripa comes to mind as having the exact same physique as this. Sarah Jessica Parker has those arms, too.

I hate the look. It's skeletal! I like boobs and asses and hips! I don't find the whole ripped 12 year old boy look appealing at all.

It's so extreme and exactly the same as the morbidly obese women don't look attractive to me at the other end of the scale.


Deirdre, I'm sad that all you thought to contribute to the discussion was some hyperbolic falsehood that has nothing to do with the point of this post. Since when does discussing the female translate to people taking over the world and suppressing women's rights? Good grief.


'Guy Ritchie is said to have told a friend that sex with her was like "snuggling a piece of gristle."'

Heh. Funny 'cause it's true.

But, as my grandma once told me, there's a lid for every pot. Or a guy who likes gristly women. I'm hoping for a guy who likes chubby blondes, myself.


Do I find her physique attractive? Not even a leeetle bit. But that bod lets her tour and dance at 50 (cf. Sting, Mick Jagger, etc). Her body is *hers*, she can do with it what she likes.

But, yeah, viscerally, she looks kinda gristly.


I think Madonna would be CRAZY in the bedroom. Remember her sex book? She was into all kinds of crazy stuff I had never even heard off.


Yeah. Madge doesn't seem like the warm fuzzy type. I envision her chugging a wheat grass smoothie and man-checking her biceps in the mirror after copulation....


As a chick who EASILY puts on muscle, these Madonna-bashing bits have been kind of grating. In order for me to be healthy and active I tend toward a solid size 6-8 and a CRAZY amount of muscle. After posting pics of myself, a girlfriend jokingly posted that she hoped that she wouldn't meet up with me in a dark alley... I get broad, thick shoulders, big ol' biceps, and a pretty shredded back. This is what happens just being Mom and doing yoga 1/2hr. three or four times a week. This is NOT excessive, it's just how I'm built. At the same time I end up with scrawny hands and wrists and my cheekbones get right sharp. And I've gotten my fair share of "That's not feminine comments." To me, though, being healthy, confident, and active defines me more as a woman than the fact that maybe I look too tough. Am I as ripped as Madonna? Nope, but to tear apart any woman who isn't hyper-feminine is unfair and sexist in its own right. I swear if I hear another woman say that they can only lift 3lbs for fear of "bulking up" I'm going to cry. What's wrong with muscle? What's wrong with challenging yourself physically? Why do we have to be "soft" to be womanly? Obviously, pics like this of Madonna represent an extreme, but people seem to be picking on ANY woman with muscle! Now if you'll excuse me, I'm going to take my biceps and go bake some cookies.

Marmite Breath

For me, when I see a picture of Madonna like that, I think what I find the MOST unattractive about it is that (according to 'the news', yes, not altogether accurate) she has put almost everything in her day-to-day life on the back burner in order to achieve this body. And it's not worth it. I'm all for muscle and strong, healthy bodies. Truly, I am. But Madonna's body represents to me an insane need for control. Is this because I have a perception of Madonna as a control freak? Perhaps. I just want her to go home and eat some cookies with her kids and then take them to the park.
I know I'm rambling, but Madonna just makes me sad now. I used to want to be her. Now I don't understand anything about her.


The people saying Madonna looks like a man are probably the same overweight, out-of-shape malcontents who feel the need to put down anyone who has the drive and guts to train hard. Madonna did go too far in her desire to get lean, but I'd far rather have her body than some decrepit tub of goo.


Madonna can't win because it seems that there's a very definite, picky mold that people feel women should fit into physically. Had she more of the rounded, feminine look, it would be said that Madonna is getting fat and losing her looks. Let her get fit and muscular, and people start spewing how unattractive and un-feminine she is. I think it's an unfair and overly difficult tightrope for her and other women to walk.


Any (pre)conceived notion I have about The Material Girl has been created by the Shock-Queen herself. Or at least, fostered by her personality and actions. Generally speaking, I don't have anything against a well toned body or those who possess them.


Have to agree with Deirdre here. I love that this blog is snarky and funny and smart- but bashing the looks of an iconic woman who has reinvented herself a gazillion times (and who wrote Material Girl!) and is someone worth admiring on at least a few levels- that's not my bag.


rednexmama - I don't think this is naturally how Madonna is as evidenced by her Material Girl/Like a Virgin days. Yes, she's older now, but she was curvy and extremely attractive then and wasn't "cut" like she is now.

I think the point with Madonna is that this is to the extreme of not looking very healthy. Maybe she is, maybe she isn't...but we all need a certain amount of body fat to be in a "good" range and this women doesn't look like she has any!

I too am a female that can pack on muscle (and has bigger calf muscles than many guys I know) - and do get comments on occasion that I people "wouldn't want to mess with me" but I need them to participate in the sports I do so I'm ok with it...it's how I am, they serve a purpose.

It's all about balance in life and looking at her - I don't think there is much here!


Some would argue that touring, being that active on the stage, and traveling as much as she does on tour demands that she be physically fit.

I think all the judging is weird. I mean, we don't like it when men judge women based on appearance...but it's okay when women judge other women, especially if we throw in the "we're just worried about her health" disclaimer? Huh.

Don't get me wrong, I wouldn't wish away my body fat like that, but I have to admire her focus, because I have tried many a fitness regime and it always ends with me going, "Feh, this is too hard. Where's the couch?"

I doubt her physique was the main cause of her and Guy's divorce.

Little Read Hen

Should it matter if Madonna is attractive to us? Isn't what is important whether or not She is comfortable with her physique? Clearly, she works very hard to have the body she desires.


What she wants her body to look like and how to get it there is certainly her prerogative, and whatever other people think of it is something else: she shouldn't give a shit. A friend of mine has a sister who is a bodybuilder, and while we don't think much of her choices, whatEV.

For ME (and me only, and I am a woman 'of her age'), while it is certainly kind of hard to let go of who and what you looked like before, she seems to be kind of heading into Michael jackson territory here, hanging onto the youth thing. That's the part I find sad. Also, I saw Marlo Thomas on the Today Show, and geez, what has she done to herself? Same thing. There IS such a thing as aging gracefully. Diane Keaton looks good in all respects to me in that area lately. In the end, I think it's more mental than physical for a certain person about how one feels about aging and what lengths one is willing to go to to to hang onto something that is fading.


As a female Army officer, I get really annoyed by people who are horrified by the appearance of a muscular woman. I mean, maybe she just loves working out. Why should she give that up because some random strangers on the Internet prefer women with more body fat?

Also, having muscles doesn't indicate that you're not "confident enough to feel sexy in your own skin." And comparing her to Dita von Teese is rather unfair, considering that Dita (who is gorgeous -- no question) is 14 years younger.

I also don't understand why her workout schedule should be considered a "dirty detail." She obviously has the time and money -- why shouldn't she spend that time exercising if she wants to? If she keeps it up and lives a heathy lifestyle otherwise, maybe she'll live to be 120. And then she can laugh at all the assholes who made fun of her for being an athlete.

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