"Only One Episode Left" is the Most Depressing Four-Word Phrase Ever

At least it is to me, when it's being spoken by HBO's voice-over dude.

Only one episode left? Already? Seriously? Fucking hell, HBO.

I find this phrase soul-crushingly depressing for two reasons:

1) Well DUH. True Blood is wicked awesome. Easily the best new show this season; certainly the first show in I-don't-even-know-how-long to inspire any level of panting, wild-eyed fangirling from me. In a world gone mad for Edward, the gentlemanly promise-ring vampire, it's nice to know that we can always depend on HBO to give us graphic foreplay-free vampire-human hate-sex in a muddy graveyard.

2) But we can also depend on HBO to give us 12 measly episodes of the Best! Show! Ever!...and then to allow that show's creators to take For! Fucking! Ever! to get around to making another 12 episodes. In HBO Seasonland, we can probably expect season 2 of True Blood to air sometime in early 2010. (HBO is saying "summer 2009" but if you believe that one, you should totally check out my Etsy store. I'm selling a darling assortment of handmade organic bridges.)

But alas, there is indeed only one episode left. This Sunday night at 9 pm. If you haven't been watching, you'll have plenty of time to get caught up before season 2. PLENTY OF TIME, GODDAMMIT.

But don't take too long -- both Big Love and Flight of the Conchords return with new seasons in January. (Thank God, because otherwise I may end up watching that Paris Hilton BFF show, or trying to force myself to like Fringe again.)

(CRIMINALS!)

Comments

[jacki]

I am totally distraught at the thought of True Blood and Entourage going away...at least I have Californication to tide me over part of the way until Conchords...oh! and Summer Heights High is total AWESOMENESS!!!!!

[Sils]

"...but if you believe that one, you should totally check out my Etsy store. I'm selling a darling assortment of handmade organic bridges."

Bwah-HA!

[Karen]

This is exactly how I felt when they split season 4 of Battlestar Galactica and made us wait UNTIL FRAKKING JANUARY. Seven months, motherfrakkers, for the second half of the season.

[mommypie]

ARRRGHH!! Summer 2009?!? I'm so addicted I'll be jonesin' by Christmas, guaranteed.

[Dana]

Can I make a comment here? I have nowhere else for it to go. Last episode? Sookie gave Bill up for dead after what, TWO NIGHTS? The hell? And then she was all making out with Merlotte? TWO NIGHTS. She was too hormonal to wait any longer? I CALL SKANK! Also? The police in Bon Temps SUCK. /rant

HBO is messing with my head. What am I supposed to watch now? Something educational?

[Blackeyedgurl]

Those are the 4 words that make me sad, the saddest word though is: Cancelled, which thankfully True Blood isn't.

[Jennifer]

I love this show..
Know what will tide you over?
Reading the books. If you haven't it's a must.
All 8 of them
However, they may spoil upcoming seasons.
But totally worth it.

[Jennifer]

Would help if I told you what they were.
Southern Vampire Mysteries, by Charlaine Harris

[Kathryn]

Yup, I second the recommendation of the books--they're a lot of fun. I'm on #3 right now, and loving them.

Funny, after I just posted yesterday about how I am really not into the whole Twilight thing, I have to say that this is a cheesy vampire romance that I can get into. At least here there's an actual story to carry the plot of each book, instead of all this "Edddwwwaaaaaard! MAH ONE AND ONLIES TRUE LUV!!!" nonsense.

[JennC]

I'm reading the first book now in the series, and it is truly teh awesome. I'm hoping I get through it by Sunday, I can't take the damn suspense.

Last episode of Entourage, too! WTF, HBO?!?!

[indycitygirl]

I am soooo upset at HBO!!! Wankers taunt us with such goodies then rip them away ASAP!!!! What really sucks is who the killer is(see police photo from ending of last Sundays show)I was so saddened by it!!! I had a wee little crush on Mr Cajun Spice!!

[Andrea]

I think I will have to start watching that to fill the Edward sized hole in my soul after I see the movie. But every time I see that picture I wonder how the hell that girl is not cutting her tongue to shreds on the other fang.

[kdiddy]

"graphic foreplay-free vampire-human hate-sex in a muddy graveyard."

I was so NOT into that whole scenario. Bill was all kinds of dirty and the whole time he and Sookie were getting it on, I kept yelling, "SHE'S GOING TO GET AN INFECTION!"

[Elizabeth]

I think I let out a "woooo!" when I saw that Big Love was coming back in January, and another "wooo!" for Flight of the Conchords. Dear heavens, I'm turning into a Woo Girl.

[JP]

okay...I've never seen the show (don't have HBO) but you totally had me giggling at "handmade organic bridges."

Funny.

[Sourire11]

I'm a total true blood fangirl, too. It's embarassing. But I want more of Eric in a bathtub. Now. Not in Summer of 2009. Boo Hiss HBO!

I may have to reread all of the books to bridge the gap until then.

[palinode]

Why is True Blood so addictive? Almost every element of the show is kind of ridiculous, but when you put them together it's like sangria on a hot afternoon. Is it all the people with hot bodies humping each other? Scientists are probably working on this mystery even as we speak.