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Tini Puppini Make My Head Explodini


One of the Bitch Magazine blogs had an excellent piece up the other day about how completely stupid this whole sexy toys trend has become. The latest: sexy dogs called Tini Puppinis.

It started with Bratz and as if the whole erotically charged tween/young girl thing wasn't stupid and creepy enough, Bratz Babyz were born. Halloween costumes for girls started leaning heavily toward the pedophilia vibe and before long, poledancing kits showed up in toy sections.

Now, I'm not a prude. I think it's good to acknowledge that kids are human and will have sexual feelings, but this shit is just wrong. Plus, isn't it interesting that these are all marketed to girls? As far as I know, those Bratz Boyz were a pretty big flop and they didn't have a drop of sexuality. They just looked really stupid.

But sexiness for young girls is in right now. It sells. It makes billions. And as long as people keep buying this shit, the toy industry will continue to find new, ridiculous ways to profit from it. So I guess it's no surprise that Tini Puppinis exist.

Allow me to shamelessly quote heavily from the Bitch blog:

These tiny stuffed dogs are, according to the products' website, "the most popular pups in town." They wear shoes, clothes, and makeup. They love shopping and gossip. They hang out in all of the hippest spots, from nightclubs to spas. And, each of the three pups has her own unique personality!...Tisha is the self-proclaimed "girlie-girl" of the Puppini bunch. She has beautiful long hair, a sparkly tiara, and silver puppy "bling" to wear when she goes out on the town...Toffee is the Hollywood trendsetter puppy. That is why she is wearing jeans and a headband, obviously. Toffee's also the "cutting edge" puppy, so it is no wonder we see her here with bright red highlights. Such a rebel. She has a poseable body so that she can "strike a pose" for whatever paparazzi (puparazzi?) she may encounter whilst shopping on Rodeo Drive...Tutu is the party girl of the Puppinis. She has "funky" hair and is a self-described "free spirit." She is shown in a nightclub on the website, because Tutu loves to go out on the town...And if you watch the commercial for these spoiled pups, you will hear them say things like, "I love my tail in these jeans!" Because that's right, dogs should start worrying about how their asses look in jeans.

So, aside from the somewhat disturbing way that all of the Puppinis have their asses in the air and the questionable spelling of the toys which I'm pretty sure is a direct nod to martinis, since obviously these bitches like to party, can I just take a second to point out that THESE ARE DOGS. THIS IS ONE OF THE DUMBEST TOY IDEAS EVER. I guess I just lack imagination that I was never sitting with my toys as a kid and pining for the days that my toy animals could go grind in the club and have eating disorders. And any bets on which Puppini is the alcoholic?

It reminds me of that scene in Big where Tom Hanks, who has magically transformed into an adult even though he's actually 13 and secured a job testing toys, is in a meeting and attempting to make sense of a Transformers-esque toy. He states that he doesn't "get it" because there are a million robots that turn into something, but this toy is a building that turns into a robot and, hi, that's just a stupid concept.

This is really what bothers me the most about Tini Puppinis. Yeah, they get my feminist ire up, but whatever. People can buy their kids whatever dumb crap. I'm certainly no saint in that arena. My son has more plastic shit than I know what to do with and very little of it requires imagination. But this is just a STUPID TOY. STUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUPID.

Bitch Magazine

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Best title ever. Kudos.


I'm with you, KDiddy. I was just having this conversation (translation: rant) with someone yeseterday. And the day before.

Here's a thought for the next stupid idea: donkini. Get it? An (jack)ass that cares how its ass looks.

I swear, if anyone gets any of this kind of crap for my daughter - EVER - I will throw it in their face and tell them that my daughter is not to be sexualized, nor taught flaunt sexuality - in any species - 'til she's all grown up and outta my house!

Marmite Breath

And this is why I am so glad that Hadleigh (who will be eleven in three weeks, OMG! how did that happen?) is still heavily into American Girl dolls. I mean, they may be stupidly expensive but you could never call them trampy. I sigh with relief every time she spends her money on an outfit for Kit, since she knows there is no way in hell I would ever let her have a Bratz doll or Hoorz doll or whatever shit they're marketing to my daughter these days. (Full Disclosure: She loves Webkinz, and even though they end in "Z" they're not trampy!) :)


i don't know which this is more: stupid or disturbing. thank god my daughter is still into thomas, books, soccer balls and the occasional stuffed animal. i can sheild/divert/distract her all i want, but i fear one day she may be into this kind of shit. i really hope not...


I'm with you- when I saw that commercial I couldn't believe it was real. I kept waiting for it to be one of those spoof commercials, like where the Energizer bunny suddenly goes across the screen. But no, it's REAL. And it's just wrong.


Elizabeth - you really must watch The Soup! Joel McHale's commentary on these effing ho-dogs is awesome!

Jennifer - reading about your daughter reminded me of Pink's video, "Stupid Girl," where the girl is faced with sexualizing herself and dumbing herself down, or taking control and grabbing the football/going against the grain. Your daughter sounds like the smart girl who goes against the grain and enjoys what SHE wants - not what the stupid girls do! :)


thank you diana! she's definitely a football-grabbing type of girl.
you know, after i submitted my post i realized that i should just keep what i'm doing - not allowing that crap into our house. i've returned all her "princess" gifts so far (sorry grandmas, aunts, et al.) and i'll just have to keep on truckin' when it comes to sexxed-up doras (remember that post?), bratz, etc.
hopefully, she'll just keep her eye on the (foot)ball....

Fairly Odd Mother

I almost passed out at the pole dancing kit for kids. Are you f-ing kidding me?

I have a blatant "No Bratz" policy in my house. I know people hate Barbies, but Barbie is a saint compared to this crap. Personally, if the first thought that comes in my head when I see a toy is "Paris Hilton" that is a red flag.


feeling very thankful for my daughter's thomas obsession.

normally i'm kind of puzzled and bored by it, not being a train-enthusiast myself, but i'll take thomas over the "hoorz" (great one, MB!) anyday.

Snarky Amber

Those dolls make me want to drink Red-Bull Tinis until I vomitini and passoutini. Seriously, WTF.


The Christmas toy flyer advertising Tini arrived at our house last week, and upon viewing them I had a freak out and rant very akin to this post. Along the same lines as the pole dancing kit is the lingerie for toddlers which I recently ranted about on my blog. Somedays I am truly frightened for my daughter.


"Personally, if the first thought that comes in my head when I see a toy is "Paris Hilton" that is a red flag."

Fairly Odd Mother - what a true gem to live by! ;)

My daughter is only 18 months old. But I can already see she is SUCH a girly girl. I was a tomboy, and have always been surrounded by boys until I had her. I'm on strange ground with her! If she gets a new dress, she runs into my bedroom to look at herself in the mirror, and flounces the skirt up and down to make it fuller. She carries her Mommy 'n' Me lunchbox over her wrist, like a purse. We had beads from New Orleans in a toy box for years - she puts them on and accessorizes daily. But this is *her* - not me influencing her. So, when the inevitable princess stuff starts turning up, do I let it go and rejoice that it wasn't the crap shown above? Do I balance it out with various sports paraphernalia? Suggestions? Anyone?


Right ON! We have a NO BRATZ rule in our home.

Asha {Parent Hacks}

A contender for Best Post Title Evar.


DianaCLT: I've got the girly-girl,too. And what makes me sad about a lot of this crap is the idea that a lot of little girls will never get to do ANY of the girly stuff because their parents are so concerned about where the line is. Personally I don't see anything wrong with a little girl pretending to be a princess in the same way that I don't have a problem with her pretending to be a superhero: it's pretend. I think the important thing is to use a couple things that seem to be in short supply: your instincts and common sense. They are the child, you are the parent. If the doll is trashy don't buy it. I've found with Barbies that there are TONS of great ones and TONS of slutty ones. Here's an idea: just don't buy the slutty ones. Unless your child is an independently wealthy emancipated minor it is YOUR decision what comes into and stays in your house. If she gets this crap as gifts, return it or put it away. If she throws a fit when you do? Well, again you parent, her kid. I think I'd rather put up with one temper tamtrum than face the consequences of a sexualized preschooler. But hey, I'm Mean Mommy. I do this crazy thing called saying no. If I'm lucky, she'll thank me later (probably not, but a gal can hope!)


Oh - don't get me wrong, I'm quite skilled at being a mean mommy, too - just ask my 6 year old son! ;) ("Ahhh...mom! Why can't I have lots and lots of guns and weapons? And everything in the world that represents violence and annoyance!?!?" ;)) I guess the bigger point is that, as you pointed out in a way, so many girls really start to think they're princesses - acting like princesses and expecting to be treated as such (vomiting a little at certain true-life examples I know about ;)). I will NOT allow the princess 'tude in my house! And my daughter most certainly will NOT play with sexualized toys (Bratz Babies, people! Because babies should be sexual, too! WTF?!!??) ACK! All in all, I think she'll be okay. There are certain folks (*cough*in-laws*cough*) who are tacky by nature and I'll likely have to take her gifts and throw them in the to-be-craigslisted pile. It's just easier than saying I don't allow those types of items, because then they give me blank looks and I hear crickets chirping. ;)


I hear you about the "princess" 'tude. Maybe she should just call that attitude what it is: being an asshole. Let little girls be princesses but not assholes. Sounds like a plan.


One more thing to brainwash little girls into becoming future sluts! The world needs more sluts!

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