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Big Love Recap

Blonde_margene

Yes, yes, late again, I know. But I have another really good excuse! I was in Vegas with my...uh...colleagues! It was a business trip, because I'm a businesswoman and I eat lunch specials for businesswomen. It was a business thing. You know...*rolls eyes*

So, do you think that they're making an effort in the makeup department to make Harry Dean Stanton look as bedraggled as possible or is that guy just getting old? Because...yeesh.

We open up on another news report on Roman and how he's been examined by a doctor recently for his not so stellar health. Alby pops on the screen to say something weird and Alby-like and Ben snots that he's a weasel. Barb turns off the TV and tells Ben to do something constructive. Yeah, Ben, go figure out your sister's teen pregnancy or some shit. Bill walks in and Margene, who is rocking out on her iPod, yells at Bill asking how things went last night, you know, with Nicki. Speaking of the devil, Nicki walks in and is in a bit of a mood. Barb pulls her aside and tells her to cut Margene some slack since her mom just died. All of the spouses gather in the kitchen and try to think positively about the trial and how it's like ruining their lives but no biggie. As an added bonus, Margene and Barb have decided to give Nicki their nights with Bill until the trial is over so that they can get bizz-AY. I realize that this is a totally different way of life, but I don't see why throwing a new baby in the mix will lower the stress level.

At the flop house, Bill is talking to Rhonda and is now trying to get her to testify against Roman. Rhonda, not surprisingly, is not exactly on the same planet as us and says that Roman promised her a big dance just for her if she goes back to the compound. Bill lets her in on a little secret: Romans' full of shit. Rhonda wants to know if she testifies against Roman, if it will make people like her more. Sigh. Bill says that he would like her more.

Nicki goes to see Roman in jail and he notes that Nicki hasn't been to work in a few days. Nicki tries to play it off but she's obviously very uneasy with life in general right now. Roman asks her to bring him some of the case files and adds, "You bring me such great joy...which is why I put you in the Joy Book! Hearts!"

At Home Plus, Margene is comforting Don, whose estranged wives are charging up a storm at Home Depot. Oh, burn! For some reason, Margene thinks that the perfect remedy for such a situation is to show Don old pictures of her dead mother from when she was a showgirl. And, oddly enough, this totally perks Don up. Barb walks in and explains that she and Margene are there to talk to Don about where they stand, financially. Not surprisingly, Home Plus is kind of fucked at the moment and they may even be unable to make pension contributions that month. Christ. They're diverting funds for the casino start up and have literally NO MONEY. Barb is like, "Wow, it would be really awesome if the floor opened up and swallowed me right about now." Bill is across the hall and amazingly totally oblivious to his wives' presence. He's on the phone with Alby and I think he's trying to get in as one of Alby's advisers? I'm not sure. Alby's creepy wife Lura tells him that Bill's a Johnny-come-lately to their struggles. God, she freaks me out. She's like Rhonda times 5.

Later that night, Nicki and Bill are playing this oddly angry game of Go Fish. "Give me your threes." "GO. FISH." Seriously, I never knew such a game could be so angst-ridden. Bill then puts on the moves and asks Nicki if she would like to have sex and Nicki, not surprisingly, isn't in the mood. Bill, she's just not that into you.

Lois wakes up in her car by the train tracks and calls her sister wife while peeing behind a dumpster. I hate when people do that. She explains that she's homeless and quickly running out of luck when we hear some commotion from the sister wife that sounds like her saying, "No! Frank!" and hanging up. That doesn't seem good.

Nicki, Margene and Ana are grocery shopping and Ana remarks that Roman looks so stern and scary on TV and asks Nicki if he's actually like that. I kind of love Ana. Nicki just flares her nostrils at Ana and goes to get ice cream. Ana complains to Margene that Nicki's a bitch. Margene catches up to Nicki and asks her why she's so angry, but Nicki snaps back that she doesn't hide her feelings like SOME people with dead mothers.

Sarah sits at her laptop and watches an introductory video from a prospective adoptive couple. They're disturbingly wholesome.

Nicki is at work, undoubtedly updating her Facebook status to something like, "Step 1: Go undercover. Step 2: Steal files. Step 3: ... Step 4: PROPHET!!!" The DA stops by her desk and tosses a Jelly Belly in her direction and says he's glad to see her back. Nicki grins a little to herself as she eats the jellybean and I get a strong flirtation vibe. In yet another instance in this episode of at least two Henrickson spouses being like 3 feet away from each other and having no idea of each other's presence, Bill is in the DA's office dishing about the case and lets the DA know that Rhonda is shacked up at the flop house. The DA wants to know what Bill's stake is in all of this and if Bill lives on the compound. Bill gets a little pale for a second but then remembers that Joey still lives there and explains that a lot of people in his life have been hurt by the darkness of Juniper Creek and that he was run off as a kid. The DA gets a weird look on his face because I think he has a legal woodie.

Joey, Wanda, Kathy, and Rhonda get escorted to a hotel by some sheriffs (?). Rhonda of course snits that they can't make her stay there. Kathy calmly gets up in Rhonda's grill and sweetly explains that this is for their protection and that they're doing the right thing. Rhonda relents and as Kathy makes her way to her room, she turns and gives Rhonda this stern-ass look. Yikes.

Barb is making pies when her mom calls and they continue their method of communicating on the phone will Barb's mom sits in the car outside. I don't understand this. Why does she DRIVE all the way over there to talk on the phone? Does she not realize that cell phone signals are strong enough to carry your conversations over many miles? Anyway, Barb basically begs her for some money to put aside for the kids because Bill's been subpoenaed and everything could come crashing in on them. Barb's mom spots Ana with, I think, Nicki's kids and asks who she is. Barb's like, "Uh, I gotta go."

At the hotel, Kathy is talking to her twin sister Jodean and thanking her for testifying on her behalf. Jodean is kind of, "Oh, yeah, sure. Totally," about it, which concerns me. After she gets off the phone, Kathy apologizes to Wanda for dragging her and Joey into all of this and says that she's willing to go it alone. "Okay," Wanda deadpans. Kathy says that if Wanda wants her to leave she will. "Okay. I want you to leave," says Wanda. That is apparently not the answer Kathy was expecting because she just sort of stares at Wanda until Wanda says, "Just kidding!"

Margene is once again on her iPod and dancing in her pajama...thing. She's apparently working something out about her mom, whose pictures are all over the place and Margene is just sweating like mad.

At the jail, Roman's lawyer tells him that Rhonda is, in fact, testifying against him and that he should take a guilty plea. Roman is, of course, not tryin' to hear that shit and you can see the wheels turning on Adaleen's face.

Alby shows up at Bill's office so they can chat. Bill offers him a 7UP and as they head back to Bill's office, Don looks at him like, "Whoa. WTF, dude?"

The DA is talking Nicki's ear off about how excited he is about the case and blah blah blah and they've put Kathy and Rhonda in protective custody. He says he pities Kathy and her family, who are standing waist-deep in a cesspool and Nicki's like, "Er, ah, I don't know if it's all THAT bad. Some cesspools are nice." When the DA steps out of the room, Nicki grabs Kathy and Rhonda's files and writes down the information of their hotel, which is conveniently right on top of their files.

Adaleen calls Bill and scolds him for meddling in the trial and says that he needs to think about what would happen were Roman to lose. She calls Bill a fool for dealing with Alby and then says a bunch of really disturbing things about Bill's entrails and their potential meeting with the floor. She also makes a thinly veiled threat against Kathy and Rhonda.

Sarah, Ben and Heather are at the house of the family whose video Sarah watched. Heather is pissed that she was the last to know and Sarah's like, "Dude, seriously, not now, alright?" The couple come sparkling into the room and the wife cheerily describes her obsessive compulsive disorder and how her husband loves her anyway. And the husband starts talking about how we all face Satan, be it OCD or SSA...that is, same-sex attraction. But they're curing it through marriage and dude says he's as gay as they come but with the lord's help he's gained a lot of masculine qualities. Yeah.

The trio leave the house thoroughly freaked out and Ben thinks maybe the husband was coming on to him. Sarah tells him to shut up but he goes on to say that he thinks Sarah should give the baby to Barb and Bill. They quibble and Ben turns on the car radio. "I really don't feel like listening to Christian rock right now, Ben." He turns it off and pushes his idea again, but Sarah blurts that she's not giving her baby over to be raised in polygamy.

Nicki finally spies Bill at the DA and overhears him talking about Adaleen. Bill wants to know how the DA would feel about Bill delivering Alby to him. The DA jizzes his pants. Nicki calls Adaleen to warn her and Adaleen speeds off in the camper.

Lois has turned up at Bill and Barb's and is selling them on a story that Frank attacked HER, which is technically true but she's leaving out that tiny detail of her attempting to murder him. Bill sends her with Ben to get set up in a room. Barb squints at Bill because, well, the days are never really uneventful around their house are they? Bill tells Barb that he wants to ask her something and that she should take five seconds before answering. He says that he wants to have Alby over for dinner and Barb automatically says no because he, uh, put snakes in their bed. Bill explains that Alby craves attention and respect and that his plan will totally work.

Adaleen and Nicki are digging, trying to find some money that Adaleen buried there. Adaleen complains about how all those girls just love Roman and how could they not since he's a prophet. Nicki brings up her presence in the Joy Book and the fact that she actually didn't want to get married the first time. Adaleen insists that that's not true and dismisses Nicki, saying that they have to go look for money elsewhere.

Alby, Lura, and another wife are over for dinner. Lura tells Barb that her gazpacho is a little cold. Hee! The wives all head to the kitchen to pop their soup in the microwave. Bill and Alby talk about how much they have in common, like marrying their first wives for love and whatnot. Alby reassures Bill that he'll make sure that no charges are brought against Lois for torturing and attempting to murder Frank. Bill's like, "Yeeaaahhhh...thanks?" Bill takes the opportunity to try and convince Alby that he should be more public and lead the flock and whatnot. Alby is suspicious, but pats Bill on the hand, which is an odd gesture.

Ana is in the bathroom, smoking and drinking and bitching about Nicki while Margene dyes her hair. She wants to know what Margene will do if she doesn't like her hair and Margene is confident that she knows what she's doing. Well, that makes one of us, Margene!

Bill calls Roman in jail and is all, "I have Alby!" and Roman's all, "I have Nicki and she loves me more than you AND I had a prophecy last night I will prevail so NYAH!" Roman - 1. Bill - 0. Because I guess in polygamist rock-paper-scissors, daughters and prophecies cover creepy closet homosexual power hungry sons.

Rhonda is at the hotel leaving some voicemail for Sarah, admitting that she's confused and messed up and she hopes they can be friends. There's a knock at the door and a voice that is so totally Adaleen's claims to be turn down service. Rhonda lets her because she has no sense and Adaleen walks in and dumps a huge bag of money on the bed. She suggests that Rhonda take the $30k and run, but Rhonda protests that she's Roman's favorite again. Adaleen retorts, "He's washed his hands of you, thrown you away for the bad penny you are. He doesn't love you and no one really cares about you. Take it, save yourself." Rhonda weakly insists that Roman said he loved her. Adaleen gives her a look of amused pity and leaves. God damn but Adaleen is a COLD motherfucker.

Roman is lying on his cot loudly singing "Glory, Glory Hallelujah," and the other inmates are not pleased but shut up when he screams, "I'M THE PROPHET OF JUNIPER CREEK!" Because really what do you say to that?

Bill and Nicki are NOT having sex when Joey calls and tells him that Rhonda's gone. Uh oh.

Barb's mom (who I just found out is named Nancy) calls from just outside Barb's house again, but this time has left some baked goods on the porch. She runs into Lois and tries to chat her up but Lois isn't into it. "I know you think I'm a dirty chinchilla," and Nancy insists it's not like that AT ALL, it's just that Lois saddens her, see. Apparently Nancy tried to help Lois escape some years ago but I guess it didn't turn out that well. They storm inside and Bill wants to know what's up with Lois lying to him about what happened to Frank. Barb is shocked to see Nancy inside but they soon have an awkward conversation about how Nancy doesn't intend to lend them any money. Nicki walks in and sits down without talking to anyone and she is soon followed by Ana and a very blonde Margene. All present are horrified. "You look like a prostitute," says Nicki. Barb is not available to back up Margene because she can't even look at her. Nicki continues, "You looke like a complete whore." Margene blows up at Nicki and starts shouting about how gross she thinks Roman is and Nicki's like, "I'm out." Nancy recognizes Ana from the other and Ana explains that she's dating the family. Nancy and Lois are pissed and Lois scolds Bill that he doesn't NEED four. Nancy wails that Bill's a dabbler and a gadfly but Bill insists that he loves all of his wives and proposes to Ana on the spot. Barb seconds the motion and Margene thirds it. Ana wants some time to think.

Bill, Joey, Wanda, and Kathy show up at the courthouse and are mobbed by the press. Nicki and Alby are both there and exchange some heated words in the hallway. The trial begins and the state calls Kathy to the stand. Sarah and Ben are watching at home and Ben takes a minute to tell Sarah that whatever she wants to do, he's with her. I love Ben.

The music gets all intense and Jodean takes the stand to corroborate Kathy's testimony. The cross-examination begins and Roman's lawyer asks her to recall at what age she and Kathy married their first husband. If you'll remember this is pretty much the whole thing holding the case together, since Kathy said she was 14 and therefore very underage. Jodean explains that she's not sure of her age, which isn't unusual on the compound, but says she was 19 and admits that Kathy might have been wrong. This is bad.

Eventually, Roman exits the courtroom a free man and shouts, "The righteous have prevailed!" He goes up to Bill and does this breaking-the-chains motion with his hands, which cracks me up because it looks like Ross' alternate middle finger motion from Friends. The Juniper Creek crew parade out and one of them spits in Kathy's face.

Then there's a weird exchange where Jodean emerges from the courtroom and a little boy who was sitting with Adaleen runs and embraces her. I'm guessing he is her son and perhaps he was taken from Jodean? And Jodean fudged her testimony to get him back? It's not clear.

On his way out, Roman passes Nicki and tells her that she made this possible. As he turns to go down the steps, Nicki bumps him and he falls down the steps and I go, "OH SNAP!" She doesn't bump him hard enough, though, because he gets up quickly, dazed but not harmed. He glances at Nicki and wonders.

Rhonda has hitched a ride to LA in an 18-wheeler and plays her demo tape for the driver. He creepily says, "That's real pretty honey. Come sit by me." Sigh.







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Comments

Jamie

I don't know what I loved more, the South Park/Underwear Gnomes reference or the Friends reference. Either way, this recap is made of win.

Rhonda

Great recap!

I wonder if by the end of the season Nicki will end up in jail for witness/evidence tampering - where of course Roman and Adalene will leave her to rot.

Margene's hair is hideous.

DianaCLT

I MISS MY BIG LOOOOOVE!!!!!!!!!!

Okay - so who lives near me and has HBO? Can I come over and watch? I canNOT believe I said we ought to cancel HBO! Showtime is free, for goodness' sake - why can't Big Love be on Showtime?!?

Anyway - AWESOME recap.

And I second Rhonda's (hee!) motion: Margene's hair IS hideous. Someone needs to teach her to lighten her eyebrows or not go so damn white with the hair!

Dani

I speculated the same regarding Jodean - that the boy was her son and was held hostage so that she'd lie on the stand.

Margene does look ridiculous as a blond.

I can't wait for next week!

cindy w

Aw, I think Margene looks cute. I mean, yes, she went way too blond, but she's still a beautiful girl. It helps that she's basically the only sympathetic character on the show (other than the kids, and maybe Joey).

And I totally agree about Lura being like Rhonda times 5. I think the scariness is increased exponentially by the fact that she actually out-creeps Alby, of all people. Yeesh. As for Adaleen, I knew she was cold before this episode, but my god, that woman is downright evil.

keric125

I (literally) laughed out loud at the Friends reference, 'cause that's totally what I thought he was doing at first, before it hit me that he was making a "chain breaking" gesture. And I thought it was pretty clear that Jodean fudged the testimony b/c they had her son. These are evil, evil people!! I agree, Cindy W, that Lura's creepiness out-creeps Alby's. Didn't think that would ever happen!!! Great recap, it was like watching it all over again!!!!

Gaby

So, do you hate when people pee behind dumpsters or when they call people on their cell phone while peeing? Because I think I actually hate the latter more than the former, especially in public restrooms. I'm always like, "Uh...is she talking to me?" Awkward.




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