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Children Are Not Money-Makers

Duggars

Authored by super special guest contributor and honorary MamaPop Betch, Angella of Dutch Blitz.

I do not know what it is but it seems like there are a plethora of babies being born all at once.  I may not be one to talk, since I have birthed three of those little creatures, but there needs to be some sort of line somewhere. SOMEWHERE.

We all know about the Duggars.  I have caught a few episodes of their show in between wiping butt-cracks and doing laundry. They have eighteen children. EIGHTEEN. This baffles me because each subsequent pregnancy of mine was harder than the one before. If I were to be told that I was expecting a fourth I would weep. For the entire pregnancy. And beyond.

Another well-known family is Jon & Kate Plus 8. Here is where I confess that I have never seen their show. Uh, I have three kids. I may not compare to these uber-birthers, but THREE IS BUSY. I am happy if I can make it out of the house fully clothed and in my right mind. TV is something that fits in between the kids' bedtime and mine. Instead of watching another family's chaos, I'd rather watch LOST or 30 Rock. Something other than life with kids.

The newest addition to the baby-making party of multiples is the mother of the Octuplets. She already had six children before this pregnancy. SIX. CHILDREN.

She then gave birth to eight babies which brings her to a sum total of fourteen children. FOURTEEN FREAKING CHILDREN. She has now launched a website in order to collect money (Most major credit cards are accepted) (Sigh)

This is where I think that common sense went out the window. While I truly believe that babies are a blessing, and a miracle, and all of that jazz, do you really need FOURTEEN of them? Or EIGHTEEN?

And if you do, what of those children who have no parents to call their own? Who are stuck in a system that tries to find them parents but often fails? Could you not claim one of those children to be one of yours?

I don't think this would be such a big deal if people were able to financially support these beings that they deemed necessary to bring into the world. To ask people for financial support because you want to bring a gaggle of babies into the world (ALL AT ONCE) seems tacky. And a bit off-side.

. . . . .
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Comments

Hilary

Agreed times one thousand. Well said!

Sils

So, while they both have tv shows, I don't know that the Duggars or John & Kate have ever *asked* for public assistance. And, while the Duggars quite intentionally had 18 kids, I've heard John & Kate say (while answering viewer mail) that they are pretty much worst case scenario for IVF patients - they are not a success story because they wound up with too many viable embyros implanted - that doesn't mean that they love their kids any less, but that they probably would have been happy with another set of twins.

What really gets my knickers in a twist about this Nadya woman is that she knew IVF was successful for her, there was no reason to implant all 6 of her remaining frozen cells at one time. She knew there was a solid chance that if they implanted one or two she would have one or two kids -- because she had done it BEFORE with good results. I can't help but think that she's mentally ill in some capacity. I'm no shrink, but there's something not right there.

I have HUGE issues with people not adopting in these situations. I can, in a way, understand wanting to have "your own" child, but to this extreme? When there are so many children without homes?

The part that really ticks me off about the Duggars is that the parents are barely responsible for raising all of those kids at this point. Each older child gets matched with a younger child that they are responsible for each day. At some point there are so many kids that I honestly feel like you're sacrificing a personal relationship with your kids - what kind of one on one quality time can they possibly be getting with each of their parents?

All that and I even come from a Brady style, 1970's largish family - I'm the youngest of 6.

veonica

What I want to know is how did the Octo mom pay for IVF when she's currently getting food-stamps and disabilty payments from the government for 3 of her other children? I think it's an outrage that the taxpayers are already helping to support the family and she just added 8 more to it!!!! Pisses me off to no end when people abuse the system like that.

Kristabella

The Duggars ARE able to support their children and they have NO DEBT. Which is not something most people with one kid, or no kids, can say. They are not even in the same class as the octuplet mom.

Fairly Odd Mother

The thing about Jon & Kate that bugs me is that their oldest girls do not seem to be enjoying all the attention as much as the younger ones. And, the long photo shoots and press appearances those young kids have to sit through is not how I expect they want to be spending their times. Yes, they got a nice big new house out of it, but at what price?

Don't even get me started on the Octo-mom.

The Duggars bug me for more personal reasons b/c we also homeschool and could not be more different from that family.

steff

"I can, in a way, understand wanting to have "your own" child, but to this extreme? When there are so many children without homes?"

I couldn't agree with you more on this issue. It is truly glorious to raise your own flesh and blood but if you are a truly selfless person who genuinely loves children, why not adopt/foster a child who has already been born and doesn't have a home? I guess it really does come down to being plain old selfish when someone like Suleman does something like she has. You really want 25 kids? Good on you, but now you need to start thinking about how/if you can raise them based on finances, emotional support and mental stability. Ultimately I think what Suleman did is truly despicable and lord knows she's a FEW eggs short of a dozen. Personally, I have been referring to her as the "Asshole" and not just because her silicone filled lips make one on her face but because I truly think she is.

Raye

I dont understand why anyone would judge the Duggars or Jon and Kate. Jon and Kate didnt intend to have 6 babies at once, but they get criticized when they keep and raise them? And the Duggars - no debt, no government handouts. Why must we judge? Do I think it weird? um Yes! But, I've read other posts here about tolerance and not judging differents beliefs, etc. The Duggars beliefs have enabled them to be blessed with a large family. Octo-mom and her taxpayers handouts? completely different and wrong and in my opinion, worthy of criticism. If she cant handle the kids financially, she shouldnt be getting fertility treatments to have more.

Holmes

The only possible explanation for OctoMom is government testing to create an army of supersoldiers. I'm just waiting for one of those kids to spring some metal claws out of his fist.

jonniker

Sils, Jon & Kate did IUI (I'm sure with injectables), if you can believe it, but again, it raises the ethics of a doctor who what, didn't realize her ovaries were overstimulated?

Meh. Also, my ire with Jon & Kate started long before they got their show -- after the six kids were born, they DID ask for (nay, demand) public assistance in the form of a taxpayer-funded private nurse, and once that nurse's time was up, she still insisted on more, which was hysterically inappropriate, given that she's an RN herself. I'm from not far from where they live, and it was a HEEEYOOGE story in the state of PA at the time.

For a liberal who believes in publicly-funded programs for those who need it, I do have limits, and the Gosselins crossed it. They *chose* to do fertility treatments, knowing the risks. Based on their religious beliefs, they chose to leave six embryos and not selectively abort, which is their right, but was also their risk when they started (and what doctor didn't see the overstim portion of her ovarian show?). They were not destitute, nor were they unable to care for them, and in fact, she had specific expertise that made her uniquely qualified to do so. And yet she STILL demanded assistance.

Grah. I really, really dislike them. I just ... I don't know why, I just DO.

The Duggars are who they are. I sort of admire them for sticking to their beliefs in the face of an assload of criticism, while demanding and expecting nothing.

Nic

I can't believe I'm doing this but I feel I have to defend the Duggars. I make fun of them a LOT, as you might know from my tweets. But... I just don't see them in the same light at the others.

I think you can watch a video of Michelle's Testimony on their website. They didn't initially set out to have this many children. They waited a few years after marriage to have their first. Then they used the Pill. While on the Pill she had a miscarriage and it was hugely devastating for them. They felt like they had caused it by using the Pill and in asking for forgiveness promised that they would never use BC again and would accept as many children as God gave them.

They're big believers in living debt free and being responsible for their children. Yes, that includes a few specials and a TV series. It also includes a cell phone tower on their property. In watching the show it's pretty clear that they have boundaries set up with the camera crew.

I certainly do not agree with all of the Duggars' beliefs or behaviors, but I can't fault them for living this lifestyle. They live their beliefs and are humbled by their blessings.

I stopped watching Jon & Kate after they put cameras in the kids' bedrooms to watch them while they were sleeping and during nap time. That just seemed creepy to me. I was also bothered by Kate's demanding, yelling nature. Like Sils said above, this was their nightmare and they openly state that. They had twins and wanted one more and were devastated when they found out they were pregnant with six. I can't speak to them receiving public assistance. They did receive a lot of help from their community (which they have since alienated along with family members according to reports.) But, I believe this media thing really started as a way to get by and then it grew into a monster.

Nadya Suleman is an entirely different ballgame. She had six children under the age of seven, no job, no house, no supportive family and still wanted one more. It was absurd that she was going for number seven not even getting into having octuplets. She made a reckless decision barely being able to support the children she had but wanting more to satisfy her own desires.

She filed for bankruptcy in the past year and was living with her parents, yet the money she earned went to fertility treatments to try for a 7th child. Oh, and the small house they're currently crammed into with her parents is in foreclosure too.

Does the public support all of these families in some way? Sure. But they can't be lumped into the same category. They're all so very, very different. The Duggars have chosen to accept each and every child and feel they are responsible for each one. They do expose their children to the public for their gain but it doesn't feel like they're exploiting their children (on TV at least, I can't really speak to having the older children do so much of the housework because I don't feel it's 100% different than children who live on a farm having farm chores or a ranch having ranch chores). Instead they're pointing out that the whole family is extraordinary and the series focuses on the issues involved in handling their brood.

The Gosselins' show focuses on the personal issues within the family, it shows the couple at their worst, the emotions of the kids, the trials and tribulations. It's more personal and to me, that feels more exploitative.

The Sulemans? Just plain irresponsible. And a bit crazy.

MWAS

"Too many viable embryos" brings up a world of questions and ethics for me - Television has a way of eternalizing all of these issues for decades to come - so that these children who are not able to consent to being on TV or immortalized can watch their stoopid parents say stoopid things over and over for years to come. GAH! These are the things that keep therapists in business.

RuthWells

Holy crap -- the fundraising website lists the Sullemans' HOME ADDRESS for donations. This is a train wreck in the making.

Kerri Anne

So, is it strange that the title of this post made me think about shaking my moneymaker? OK, then. Moving right along.

Rachel

Another one chiming in to defend the Duggars. They are able to care and provide for all their children. They have 18 because of religious reasons. They have a loving and supposrtive extended family.

Nadya Suleman is selfish and irresponsible. She has a website asking for handouts while she is already receiving them from the government. Her parents are bitter because they have to support all her children since she is unemployed.

TOTALLY DIFFERENT.

Isabel

Great post! And I don't really have anything to say except that I really like the Duggers. And I'm glad it's them and not me. Because, dude, I could not do it like Michelle does. She's amazing.

And also, their girls are so pretty. Is it wrong that I'm just waiting for the Dugger girls to realize how pretty they are and start chasing boy?

Chris

Not to mention that Nadya Suleman resides in a state that cannot even pass a budget...
Since I do not have kids of my own (but am blessed with two step ones) I usually do not form opinions about large families. People are free to make their own choices. In the case of Jon & Kate it appears that they wanted one more child to add to their twins and happened to end up with 6. I commend them for going through with the full pregnancy and taking on six little ones. If they get to make money from their TV show good for them. Heck, it is hard enough to support two kids through college let alone 8. If it bothered me that they are cashing in on their story (and it doesn't) I don't need to watch it (which I only do when I come across it and am bored...almost never)
As for the Duggars, I have never seen their show and know very little about them. I guess they are Mormon and/or do not believe in birth control. Fine, as long as they do not ask me to support their brood all the power to them.
Now the latest multiple birth study has me shaking my head in disbelieve however. When the story first broke I thought "Holy cow, that mom will have her hands full" but paid no further attention. Then the hate debate started and I wondered why it would be anyone's business but the parents'. Little did I know the circumstance. Now that no one can escape the background story to this drama any longer things have come to light that are just mind boggling. But what always needs to be remembered in this whole tragedy is that there are 14 innocent children involved that did not ask to be put into this dire situation. The mother obviously lacks common sense, and it is clear, when we see her in interviews or compare photographs of her former self to the most recent ones, that there is something quite "off", but her children are merely victims of a total lack of responsibility. It is truly sad and if anyone is to blame here it is the fertility doctor who should have taken charge of this situation because in the end it will be the kids who suffer the most.

Sils

I just want to make it perfectly clear that I wasn't implying that the Duggars can not financially and physically care for their children. I do have personal doubts about their ability, or any two parents, to provide emotionally for 18 kids.

ivymae

I think demonizing large families across the board is foolish. There are healthy small families, and unhealthy small families, just in the way there are healthy large families and unhealthy large families.

It's also dangerous to start the "enough money" discussion, since my idea of 'enough money' to raise a child (food, clothes, health) is different than someone else's (college, private school, horseback riding lessons). Yes, The Octo-mom is insane, and J&K's boundaries are questionable, but the issue I have with them isn't whether or not they will need public assistance, but what kind of parents they are able to be. I have my doubts that the Octo-mom could have been a dedicated mom to even one child, and THAT is what scares me.

Mrs. Wilson

Ack! I love those shows! (Here's where I disagree with you - in a loving way :) )I actually like the Duggars. Yea, they have a ginormous family, but they CAN take care of themselves - they haven't asked for hand-outs. Jon & Kate Plus 8? Yikes! Weren't exactly expecting SIX babies. But maybe could have used less embryos? I actually really like Kate. I think she's done pretty good with what's been thrown at her. Apparently the kids really like doing the show, and she's said that they'll do it as long as it works for them.

The Suleman woman? Completely different story. Oh my goodness. No husband? No job? NO INCOME WITH FOURTEEN CHILDREN? Why do you need more children when you've already got SIX in a THREE BEDROOM HOUSE THAT YOU LIVE IN WITH YOUR PARENTS? Seriously.

We have TWO and are having serious doubts about the third because CHILDREN ARE EXPENSIVE. Wow.

(And I completely agree about the other children-needing-a home thing.)

ps. 30 Rock is awesome.

Mrs. Wilson

I just remembered something. I got Kate's book for Christmas (like I said, I like her) and she did IUI, not IVF. She was told that there were four "mature" eggs, and were told that there was only a 25% chance that ONE of them would be fertilized. And then they saw SEVEN beating hearts. Yikes. I guess one died, and they ended up with six. Cannot even imagine.

pamela

I think comparing the Duggars to Nadya Suleman is grossly unfair as their circumstances are practically polar opposites. I've watched the Duggars' show a few times, and I've read quite a bit about them, and they seem to be doting, hard-working parents who are raising their children to be responsible members of society.

I do realize that for most people, having 18 children is not a responsible thing to do, but the Duggar children seem to be well-behaved, well-spoken, well-adjusted children. That's a tall order to fill with just one or two kids, and for them to have accomplished it with that many? My hat's off to them.

As for the wackadoo from California? Those babies of hers are the ones who are really going to suffer.

Sara

Kate's sister has a blog that, for the life of me, I can't remember how to find...her toxic sister according to her, but why is everyone in both of their families toxic?? If you think the whole world is nuts, chances are it's probably you.
But I digress. I remember reading on the blog that I can't find that Kate snuck Jon in to the hospital to make babies knowing full well that her ovaries were over stimulated and that she'd most likely have a litter of them, not just one or two. She's a freaking nurse people.....she knew exactly what she was doing.
So then, during one of the basement interviews, they were asked about getting pregnant with the sextuplets; Kate rubs Jon's leg and coyly asks "you're not still mad, are you?" The woman may not be getting state assistance but she has no problem using her kids to get free trips, clothes, etc. She's what the octomom is hoping to be. I have not only stopped watching the yell fest that is Jon and Kate, I refuse to buy any product that uses them for promotion.

Mwg

So....the Duggars. I watch the show. Because it's WEIRD. While they have not ASKED for handouts, they have been offered gifts that they would not otherwise have been able to afford-like building their house (with donated equipment and supplies), and trips to speak, etc. So, yes, they may live debt-free, but they also accept "handouts".
I think more than a couple kids isn't fair.

keric125

Have people heard the latest w/ regards to Nadya? That her mother and father owe something like $20,000 in past mortgage payments and are probably going to lose their house? Unbelievable.
I used to watch Jon and Kate, but finally stopped, 'cause my conscience was bothering me. I work with foster children, so I probably project a lot of my own experiences with regards to these shows, but Kate herself said on her website that they were offered an infant to adopt, but turned it down b/c "God" told them that IUI was the way to go. Not to put down anyone's beliefs, but really? God wanted her to add 6 more children to an already over-populated planet instead of adopting an infant that really needed a home? Sounds like some fierce mental justification going on.

keric125

Oh, and this is probably just internet rumor-mongering, 'cause I haven't seen this confirmed, or read Kate's book, but I heard that Jon quit his job when the babies were in the ICU in order to receive state assistance with the hospital bill. Does anyone know for sure if that's true?

teeni

As far as the Duggars go, we may not like their sometimes creepy - too hard to believe they are that wholesome - image, but from what I understand that family at least has built their own home and supports itself and would without the show. The other two situations are people who are purposely using their children and appearances/shows to make money.

jodifur

I could not agree more. And what really upsets me is that J and K have not saved a penny of that money for the kids. They say the kids have no college accounts. They just bought a 1.5 million house. Where is the money going?




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