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"6 Hour Power Shot" Brings Us One Step Closer To An Idiocracy

Idiocracy_24

As I was watching Comedy Central the other night, I saw a commercial that made me GASP. Now, I do not shock easily; nay, it takes a great deal to shock me (go ahead and try, I dare ya), but the commercial for a "6 Hour Power Shot" that didn't just PORTRAY a blowjob, but nearly spelled it out in BIG CAPS LOCK LETTERS gave me pause.

See, cause it was for 6 Hour Power! Power to receive a hummer! Cause we all know how much energy THAT takes. Well, 6 Hour Power, you might make me the train that keeps a-rollin' all night long, but your commercial is so devoid of creativity and/or humor that it makes me want to FLEE from your product, lest my sexual organs take on a zombie life of their own and start pillaging the streets.

Don't believe me? The ad is after the jump. Join the wide-eyed, slack-jawed (dirty!) festivities, won't you?

Now, the YouTube of the commercial cuts out at the end, but the last line is "Now I'm ready!" Oh, my SIDES! They SPLIT from laughing! Let's explore just how this commercial offends, shall we?

No, I'm not going to go frame by frame complaining about how the woman didn't consider pants that morning, or how the supposed girlfriend's picture shatters on the floor due to the rockin' and rollin' of the bouncing desk, or how it is so blatantly obvious that we are supposed to believe that the man is getting a beej from the chickenhead who didn't consider pants when in actuality he just guzzled liquid caffeine. Why am I not ranting and raving about that?

Because that's not the biggest problem I have with the commercial. The biggest problem I have is that it's not funny, clever, or entertaining. It's so simplistic and doltish that I feel offended as a thinking person.

Are we, as a consumerist society, so very dumb, so SCATHINGLY stupid that we need a commercial to tell us that Energy Drink = Massive Knob Gobble From Hot Secretary? And we're supposed to believe it? Men across the lands are supposed to gaze upon this pinnacle of advertising and think "Well, I know I work in a factory with a dude named Clyde, but if I snack on this little bottle of chemicals, it'll feel the same as a massive pole-smoke from a Playboy playmate in my fancy office?" I mean, really? Really.

The movie Idiocracy was a warning fable masked as a comedy about the dumbing down of society. In the film, there is a energy drink called "Brawndo" which...well, don't take my word for it, watch the extended commercial.

Now please, if you will, explain to me how that commercial is different from "6 Hour Power? Oh yeah, one is for an actual product, and one is for a made up product from a movie. A movie about stupid people. Really, really stupid people.

So come on, advertising execs. We're not in an Idiocracy yet. Can we please raise the bar with the commercials? Because I didn't exactly need a map to tell me where the "6 Hour Power" goes in the male anatomy. In fact, I'm sure you could club me in the head and I'd still get it. I'm sure you could club a dead horse and he'd get it. The commercial is horrifically sexist and crude, yes, but man. It's just not clever. Oh, and here's a PS with all the parents out there in mind:

STOP SHOWING IT DURING PRIME TIME ON A MAJOR CABLE NETWORK.

See? I have the 6 Hour Power. Not to go bobbing for apples, but to HATE ON YOUR COMMERCIAL.







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Comments

Sweetney

That is... seriously fucking disturbing.

ps: any post that even vaguely alludes to Idiocracy has my personal seal of approval. MWAH!

Ms Thistle

And let us all bow our heads for a moment, and take a moment to mourn civilization as we know it. Mark your calendars, people, this is the beginning of the end.

6 Hour POwer illustrates the belly of the eat that has come home to roost. Barg!

Now, Brawndo? THAT was fun-nay. Because it was so obviously a joke.

Ms Thistle

blackeyedgurl

I do not recommend that you ever watch G4 (yes its a real network). The entire network's commercial line up looks like this:

Energy drinks
Phone sex ads
Energy drinks
eHarmony commercials
Energy Drinks
Video Games
Energy Drinks
Girls Gone Wild
Energy Drinks
Hot Pockets

Srsly. It's a network for geeks and gamers, so its not surprising, but still. From what I can tell the comemrcials amount to: drink lots of energy drinks so you can stay up all night eating hot pockets, watching video games, and spanki' the monkey while you talk to a bored hornyhousewife before you go online to try to find love, and drink another energy drink.

They also have a commercial featuring a unicorn that vomits pink goo and technological gadgets. I imagine the commercial above will now be in heavy rotation, thus I will avoid watching Attack of the Show.

Oh how I love Idiocracy. I can't wait until I can get my law degree at Costco.

Dana

Wow. 6 hour power obviously does not want women to buy their product. It's funny because commercials like that always reflect the projection of the target demographic's ideal self. The guy in the commercial: powerful, probably good-looking, has a job, not in his mom's basement, gets chicks. The dudes buying the 6 hour power? None of those things.

Dana

Wow. 6 hour power obviously does not want women to buy their product. It's funny because commercials like that always reflect the projection of the target demographic's ideal self. The guy in the commercial: powerful, probably good-looking, has a job, not in his mom's basement, gets chicks. The dudes buying the 6 hour power? None of those things.

Dana

wtf double comment? sorries.

palinode

6 Hour Power's got what men crave. It's got electrolytes! And blowjobs.

Sarah

I think Carls Jr. should take their children away.

kdiddy

go away. 'batin.

Nadia

I SAW THAT COMMERCIAL YESTERDAY NIGHT TOO!! And I couldn't believe my eyes.. I kept waiting for the ending to be like, "Just kidding!" ...but it actually happened...

Seriously?!

6 hour power can go to hell




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