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GIVEAWAY! Archie McPhee Unicorn Goodies

Archie_mcphee_what_would_a_unicor_6 If you're like the writers of MamaPop, often you may ask yourself, "What Would a Unicorn Do?" Now you have a chance to take home a set of Archie McPhee "What Would a Unicorn Do?" folders to better guide your daily decisions.

They feature a wheel of unicorny choices on the front and a unicorn spinner that, when implemented, helps you determine just what you would do in a given situation, were you a magical be-horned beast. Whether you are a student (like me) or a professional in a boring, soul-sucking job (like me a year ago), these colorful, interactive folders will make even the lamest class or the most pointless meeting infinitely more enjoyable.

Archie_mcphee_enchanted_unicorn_b_4 The winner of this giveaway will also receive a set of Archie McPhee Enchanted Unicorn Bandages. In addition to being both pretty and sparkly, unicorns are also known for their magical healing properties. Even if that's all a bunch of hocus pocus, you have to admit your boo-boos will be far more enjoyable if they're covered with unicorns, am I right?

So here's what you do to win: Hit the comments with your best suggestion for what a unicorn might do in a dire situation. Example: "Fight an evil narwhal to the death." The winner will be selected using SCIENCE, meaning I, the scientist, drink a whole bunch of wine, and whomever makes me giggle the most will win. This is what we scientists call a double-blind study.

Now commence to commenting, my sparklecorn pretties! The winner will be announced Wednesday, April 1.

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Amy Mingo

If I were a magical unicorn I would get my buddy to try and convince Charlie to visit candy mountain with us. But first we'd have to find the magical leoplurodon for directions. It's full of joy and joyness.


It is well known that of the many magical properties Unicorns possess, the one most used to escape dire situations is their ability to shit delicious ice cream cones. In the case of the evil narwhal (is there any other kind?), the Unicorn would distract the narwhal with a sparkly object and then shit enough ice cream to keep the beastly narwhal (nototious ice cream addicts) occupied whilst the Unicorn escaped by clicking its hooves together thrice, and saying "I am a magical pony." The End.


OHMYGOODLORD. Not entering, just wanted to point out that those are awesome!


If a unicorn found itself in a situation where it had to fight a gang of elephant seals it would dance-fight like they do in West Side Story, but with more sparkles and mane tossing. After stabbing all the elephant seals in the nose with his rapier-like horn (thus deflating their only effective weapon) he would do a lightning fast tap dance a la Greogory Hines in "White Nights" followed by a spin atop said magical horn which would blow all the elephant seals' minds.


A unicorn could take the bad guys out in LESS THAN 24!


A Unicorn is faced with the unenviable, dreadful task of having to shop at Wal-Mart due to lack of all viable alternatives. Does this Unicorn turn fluffy, magical tail and run the opposite direction? NO! This Unicorn enlists all of its magical forest friends to be part of the challenge. First, the Unicorn would release a braying noise so melodious to the pure of heart that butterflies would fly out of their eyeballs, and so terrible to the shoppers at Wal-Mart that they would instantly vaporize into a green mist. Then the Unicorn and all if it's beautiful, magical forest friends, and new butterfly-eye-flying friends would be able run rampant all over Wal-Mart. Sparkly magcial dust would rain upon all the items made in China, and would turn them into quality, wholesome goods that were made in Unicorn Land by hard working, intelligent, socially responsible Unicorn Land workers who had universal health care and kind hearts. And in that moment, all the Wal-Marts in the world would tremble in the terrible knowing that they've been wrong, and that the time had come where magical Unicorn dust will them into Farmer's Marts and Fun for All Marts, and No Ignorant People Marts. And the birds would begin to sing in words we could all understand.


Clippity Clop Rainbow Magic Sparkle Prancer (the wing-ed pony with head of corn) has taken of feather-winged flight to quash the ongoing and highly nefarious plans of his evil detractors, the Warbling Wingbatty Hoof Snatchers of Snazzlefraz. What shall a precious prancer do? Welllllllllllll… first he must take to the skies to travel to the land of Snazzlefraz full of gurgling Bleaps & Glots (nasty types but quick to kill with a low flying corn thrust to the gut) and of course to face the most evil and wily Warbling Wingbatty Hoof Snatchers and their insatiable bloodlust for pretty prancing hoof feetses. Although the WWHS are quite the foe to face (what with all their wingeing and whatnot) they DO have lovely singing voices, so loverly that even the most righteous and rainbowrific strength, will and determination have faltered whilst in ear shot of their Divine warbs. CCRMSP is a smart ponesy though and has fitted himself with Invisi-Hoof Clomp Guards and Armored Ear-With-Alls which will prevent the untimely death by warb for our corn-pony friend and would fool even the most devilish WWHS. It takes just one mid-air, wing feather flap flap and some fanciful feetworks and the WWHS won't know what hit them. Literally. Literally, eh? Yes, that's right, literally will have no clue what has hit them. Why? because they are INVIS-hoofs and the warbler's won't actually SEE the mind mashing electro-bender ray (powered by Invisi-Hoofs [patent pending]) shooting from the U-shaped hoofsies that liquifies the likes of good-for-nothing h-snatchers. Their warb-rambling days are over. Or ARE they?!!! You see, Warbling Wingbatty Hoof Snatchers have been known to transform into Slovenly Greeb-Sludgkins as an after effect of brain liquification but for now, danger has been averted! Fly home, Sparkle Prancer! FLY!


Everyone knows that unicorns are the ninja's transportation of choice (this is why ninjas are so sneaky, cos unicorns are really sneaky, cos their hooves are made of cotton candy so you can't hear them when they walk on stuff), so I think in a dire situation they would call upon their ninja friends to help them. This is not to suggest that unicorns can't hold their own in a fight, cos there are some forest nymphs that could prove otherwise, I just think that unicorns would embrace sharing in all it's forms and invite the ninjas to help them. How they would fight? Ninjas use kung-fu, and unicorns, they've picked up some kung-fu and use their horns to impale their enemies (sometimes they also wear them for a while as a deterrent). Unicorns can also whirl their tails to create tiny rainbow infused black holes that suck their foes into another dimension, a dimension that hates foes.


A unicorn is magical, no one is questioning that but I'm wondering, could a unicorn take on the one and only Chuck Norris. Chuck is the man. The man with an extra fist under his chin and a super powerful round-house kick. I would believe that would be a unicorn's worst enemy. So, what would a unicorn do? I'm sure the unicorn has some magical dust that he could sprinkle on Chuck. I'm sure that unicorn horn will also come in handy. All in all, I just think that Chuck Norris would still win, despite his lack of magic and horns. Sorry, Unicorns!


a TRUE unicorn wouldn't have to do anything except NOD, because her army of cybernetic my little pony minions would show up and WORK THAT SHIT OUT.

if that fails, of course, then the unicorn would hit #R on her iphone (OF COURSE UNICORNS HAVE IPHONES! THEY'RE MADE OF MAGIC!) (the unicorns) (also the iphones) -- anyway, the unicorn would hit #R and rupaul would come.

what? rupaul is good for whatever ails you.


A unicorn would cornify my face. It sounds lewd, but it's just sparkly.


In case of attack a unicorn will kneel down and gently place its head in the lap of a virgin.


Blow sparkle dust on a bad situation and make it all shiny, new and better.

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