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In Defense of the Snuggie

SnuggieLook. I know a ridiculous product when I see one, alright? All of your snarky criticisms of the Snuggie are not earth-shattering to me.

"Oh, bleeehhhh, it's just a blanket with sleeves and pockets. Oh, meehhhhh, it's just a robe worn backwards. Oh, nyaaahhhh, it's just an extra large sweatshirt cut up the back. Oh, boooo, it's stupid. Oh, gaaahhhhh, the commercial is so creepy/weird/stupid. Oh, hehehehee, you're indulging your Jedi fantasies, Qui Gon. Oh, hahahahaha, you have a Snuggie, you're such a stupid consumer/you'll buy anything/you're what's wrong with America today."

SUCK. IT.

We received a Snuggie for Christmas. And while I'm not going to deny that the whole concept is silly, I will emphatically tell you that it is pretty awesome. I have an old, drafty house and I don't like forking over my whole paycheck to the gas company, so blankets are permanent fixtures in our living room. And it is actually really nice to be able to use the remote control or the Wii without my arms getting cold. Call me a pussy, I don't care.

And who knows? Maybe the Snuggie backlash is actually a whisper campaign started by the gas companies. "You don't need a better BLANKET. Just turn your thermostat up! Better to pay our exorbitant rates than to look silly!"

Also, it's not just a robe worn backwards. Robes are not made of whatever mutant fleece the Snuggie is made out of and are just not that warm. And yeah I probably could just sew some sleeves on my favorite blanket but since when is it SO OUTRAGEOUS that I buy something for the convenience of it? I'm in America, correct? And please tell me about the last 10 things that you've sewn. Go ahead. Or if you are such a whiz with the needle and thread, start making some Snuggie knockoffs. If you're not part of the solution, you're part of the problem.

FUCK YOU!

And those of you who lump it in with the Sham Wow need to get a grip. The Sham Wow uses questionable editing of their footage and a dude who every single person on the planet wants to kill to convince you that their product works. There's no leap of faith with the Snuggie. It's a blanket with sleeves and functions 100% as a blanket with sleeves. Truth in advertising. It's a beautiful thing.

I'm also pleased to report that I'm not alone. Snuggie devotees are starting to gather in large numbers in cities all over the US for a night of out-and-proud Snuggie revelry: The Snuggie Pub Crawl. An unofficial Snugge Pub Crawl happened just the other night in Baltimore and I'm trying to start a campaign for a Pittsburgh edition. This brings up some obvious questions, however: the Snuggie is long, so how does one drunkenly navigate the nasty streets in between bars? Since drinking is involved, isn't the added warmth of a Snuggie kind of a liability when one is donning one's liquid sweater via whiskey?

No matter. Still awesome. And I'll don my Snuggie and fight you with my free reading light if you want to make something of it. You haters. With your cold arms. No wonder you're so cranky. I'd be cranky too if my hands were trapped.







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Comments

Snarky Amber

Kelly?

I love you. Let's make out.

My one problem with the Snuggie is that I don't like the color choices. But I do covet a Slanket in "moss green".

jacki

we gave snuggies as christmas presents, sort of as a joke, but mostly because we knew the recipients would be ALL OVER THEM. And they were. We were heralded as the best gift-givers EVAR. In the history of the world. Of course, this is from the family who only give gift cards, so any bit of thought or originality score major points.

michele

snort.

Hilary

I am fine with the Snuggie but have always wondered: Doesn't your back get cold? I wear my robe in winter months (exceedingly drafty apartment) and would have gone for a Snuggie but the back, I must not let my back become chilly! Can you attest to the back-warming capabilities?

lori

I don't really understand the Snuggie, nor the Snuggie hate. I am a blanket/afghan while on the couch person but I usually wear a sweater if my arms get cold (blankets that I sewed/afghans I crocheted - yes, i'm the dorky crafty one).

That said: I think a belt with your snuggie while out on a pub crawl would both dress it up a touch and help with the issue of it being too long/hard to navigate with.

Rachel

TEAM SNUGGIE FOR THE WIN!

kdiddy

Amber - it's so on.

Jacki - WORD

Michele - backatcha

Hilary - I'm usually lying on the couch when I use mine so the couch picks up the back detail. I can conduct further user tests, though.

Lori - Snuggie belts, crocheted by Lori. I smell a market!

Sam Wise

Re: length difficulties - just do a safety-pin-hem like we used to do to our jeans in high school since no one could be bothered to sew. That'd make it shorter, and it wouldn't be a permanent change- you could tke them out soon as you were sober again.

Suziannie

Actually I think it's a fantastic concept, and I'm trying to figure out a way to convinece my boss that a Snuggie is the best sort of desk accessory we need in this building.

It's always freezing in here.

Rhonda

We got my 6 year old a Snuggie. He thinks it is the greatest thing since sliced bread. He's also in love with his FREE BOOK LIGHT! *exactly how he says it*. I just make sure he is no where near an open flame - that thing would go up like a Roman candle.

AmyC65

A comedian on a local radio station last week said he was going to invent the SnugWow - a Snuggie made out of a ShamWow. You could spill a whole 2-liter of soda on it and not have to clean up.

When I was a kid we had (I think they were called?) Snug Sacks - way better than Snuggies because they were like a sleeping bag that zipped up the front, with arms. It came up over your shoulders, covered your whole back, and your feet were in a bag. Walking was not possible, hopping was an awkward option. But they rocked in their warmness with a father who would NOT turn up the thermostat.

Lori

Hey, when I saw the commercials I thought it was perfect for our old drafty house!!!

Diane

Oh man. SnugWow! Will be lollering over that one for days.

rebecca

hey...i have a sham wow! bought from the the Sham Wow Guy at a convention. He is pretty darn charismatic in person...

margemayhem

My almost 7 year old has asked for a Snuggie for his birthday. He also wants some "bendahangers" and told me that I need a "Spin Lash," because "girls love doing their lashes." He informed me that they're 2 for 1 and you have to be 18 years or older to order.

JennyM

I've been the proud owner of a pale blue Slanket for a couple of years, since before all this "Snuggie" backlash (I mean, those commercials ARE creepy) and all the haters can bite my Slanket-encased ass. Yes, it is a blanket with sleeves. WHAT OF IT, SIR? How is it not brilliant?

Barbara

i have sham wow (bought at walmart) and no longer use paper towels. still, that guy? death to that guy.

Sweetney

this made me happy. that is all.

Marmite Breath

Oh my Gawd, Kelly, you are KILLING ME! I'm so cheered up right now by your batshit crazy rant in favour of the Snuggie--and I mean that in the most loving way possible.

I guess I'm going to have to order four of them for our family. I'm sold.

Lindsay

I heard you have to join the Heaven's Gate cult to wear a snuggie... is it really worth it?

Sweetney

PS: that video? OH MY AWESOME.

Suzy Q

I have no concept of what you Northerners go through in winter, since I live in South Florida where I am SWEATING even in a t-shirt and capris. In winter. (don't hit me)

But, even I can see how snuggly the, um, Snuggie looks. Just WAY too big. How many people can you fit under one 'a them things, anyway?

Moo

Hahahahahahahahhaaaaaaaaaaaa LOVE IT!!!

Laura Hennen

I 100% agree with this! I got a Slanket a couple years ago, and I have just loved it for the very reasons you give. My arms DO get cold! The Slanket keeps them WARM. WHAT'S NOT TO LIKE?




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