pop culture gossip community about contact archives subscribe advertise fine print bmc

« James Franco Is Tired Of Hollywood. And, Apparently, NYU | Pop Culture Main | Madonna Moves in with Jesus »


Biggie Smalls Tells Lil' Kim to "Just Do You" Plus Thumbs Down On Notorious Movie

Lil_kim In an interview with RapRadar, Lil' Kim was asked if she thinks Notorious B.I.G. would've been pleased with Notorious, the recently released film about his life.

Lil' Kim has been very vocal about her opposition to the film. However, she was now asked to speculate about Biggie's potential opinion of the film, had he not been shot dead in 1997 (and what I mean to imply here but will make explicit to fully illustrate the scope of Lil' Kim's stupidity: dead people do not really have opinions about movies).

Lil' Kim first assured the interviewer that she is "a very spiritual person". This is one of my favorite distinctions. People will tell you they're spiritual as opposed to religious, meaning that their unorthodox God thinks it's totally dope when they flash their tits in everybody's eyeball or when they spread their legs to flash that animal print. Get money! Usually, when someone assures you that they're very spiritual, they're getting ready to tell you some crazy shit that doesn't make any sense. Lil' Kim did not disappoint.

"I know for a fact he's not happy." Lil' Kim is not here talking about her opinion of what Biggie might think. Lil' Kim knows what Biggie does think for a fact. She knows this because, via her super potent spiritual powers, Biggie told her in a dream.

I'm totally serious. Lil' Kim goes to sleep. And then Notorious B.I.G. talks to her in dreams. AND THEN, Lil' Kim presents this dream content as representative of what Biggie thinks. Sometimes when I write, I make things up. But I swear to you that I did not make this up. Biggie Smalls tells Lil' Kim factual stuff in her dreams. And it's all made possible by her highly spiritualized nature. I know I'm being redundant. It's like I don't believe myself. I'm trying to convince myself that Lil' Kim really said these things and meant them and didn't expect us to laugh until we cried.

So, just so we're clear about what happened before the jump, Biggie Smalls visited Lil' Kim in a dream and told her that he didn't like Notorious. Biggie was mum about Paul Blart: Mall Cop, which bums me out because I've been on the fence about spending the 10 dollars but would definitely roll with Big Poppa's dead opinion.

The fact that Biggie didn't like Notorious probably got everybody associated with the movie all sweaty and nervous, so Lil' Kim reassured everybody that Biggie had love for them. I want to add again that I'm not making this up.

"He's not satisfied at all. And regardless of the fact, everybody who is involved in this movie, he has love for. Everybody. But at the end of the day, he knows who's who and what's what. Believe that."

The editors of MamaPop don't usually like it when we just report. They want our takes on things as well and they want them to be funny. But I'm sorry. There are some things that stand on their own and shine forth in the glory of their own light without the need for commentary. Believe that.

There's more. And, please, check the link before the jump if you must because I am not making this up.

"I'm going to tell you what my spiritual connection from Biggie is telling me [this is Black Hockey Jesus in brackets inside the quotes to remind you that I am not making this up], 'Don't look back, just do you' and that's why my success is right here for me."

[Consider this the written eqivalent of trying to regain composure.]

We have a direct quote here from Notorious B.I.G. He said "Don't look back, just do you". There are bigger problems here than the comma splice. A man who's been dead for 12 years is telling Lil' Kim NOT TO LOOK BACK. And what kind of mutilated Nike message is "Just do you"?

I just stared at the computer screen for 15 minutes. What else is there to say? Just do you. When in doubt, just do you. Confused? Anxious? Bankrupt? Just do you.

15 more minutes. I refuse to muddy up the concision.

Go from here and Just Do You.







« James Franco Is Tired Of Hollywood. And, Apparently, NYU | Pop Culture Main | Madonna Moves in with Jesus »


TrackBack

TrackBack URL for this entry:
https://www.typepad.com/services/trackback/6a00d8341c5d9653ef011168f3c28a970c

Listed below are links to weblogs that reference Biggie Smalls Tells Lil' Kim to "Just Do You" Plus Thumbs Down On Notorious Movie:



Comments

Hilary

I have no words for this.

cindy

Maybe "Just do you" is dead-person-speak for "Just be yourself".

Missie

Cannot.Quit.Laughing.

Must.Breathe.

Lil Kim, the Socrates of our time.

kdiddy

I don't really know how anyone could be happy with that movie. It's so too bad, too. It really could have been EPIC. Biggie was, of course, an amazing artist and his life story is quite fascinating. And his work with Puff Daddy really did blow hip hop wide open in a way that people couldn't quite comprehend. All of those things combined and you really could have had a fantastic movie. The actors were all really amazing and they really made the most out of it, but the writing and the direction were just piss poor.

Holly

ok, hilarious. thank you- that was the best laugh i've had all day. just do you, black hockey jesus. just do you.

baltimoregal

Well, I'm SO GLAD that "everybody who is involved in this movie, he has love for." because HIS SON is in the movie. Maybe if SHE were in the movie?

Holmes

I so love the religious vs. spiritual distinction that people insist upon making. "Hold on man, I ain't talkin' 'bout my grampa's religion or nothin."

Oh, and "believe that?" Don't you mean "baleedat?"

Minna

Well I'm gonna be all spiritual cause I'm spiritual and tell you that in our unorthodox world of religion Lil Kim is The SukraTease and were damn proud of it and her and her connection to Big Pop-pa.




The comments to this entry are closed.

Read the Comments Policy »



« James Franco Is Tired Of Hollywood. And, Apparently, NYU | Main | Madonna Moves in with Jesus »












Blog Widget by LinkWithin