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Move Over Jesus, Miss USA Runner-Up Carrie Prejean Wants to Get on the Cross Now

Miss_california_carrie_prejean Apparently there was a pageant Sunday night? And apparently they asked Perez Hilton to be a judge? And then apparently he asked Miss California USA about her stance on gay marriage and she totally pissed Perez off by saying something about Adam and Eve, not Adam and Steve? Okay, so that's not what she said — I think that was Miss New Mexico's mom — but still. Apparently she said she was against it and it "cost [her the] crown," which is confusing to me, since she's totally wearing a big ol' crown of thorns right as we speak. 

BTW, how is it that I work as the coordinator for a queer resource center and no one told me this important news? I had to find this out from Fox News, whom I guess were able to do an interview with her directly from her cross atop Golgatha, where she discussed how God was testing her faith and that, even without the crown, she knows she's the true winner. It's not confirmed, but I'm pretty sure Miss North Carolina's response to this is, "Bitch, please get the fuck out of my spotlight, mmkay?"


Anyway, I'm not what you would exactly call a pageant fan, so I'm no expert on pageant culture, but isn't it kind of bad form to upstage the winner like this? I'm not sure, because I've only seen maybe 20 minutes of pageant footage in my life, and that was actually the tail-end of Miss Congeniality, now that I think about it.

I have, however, attended one pageant in my life: the 1997 Ramona Rodeo Queen pageant, which was held in the gym at the middle school and had more sequins per square-inch than San Francisco's Pride Festival. This is unsurprising, however, given what I understand is a time-honored symbiotic relationship between gay male "pageant consultants" and aspiring beauty queens.

That said, perhaps Carrie Prejean's declaration of her stance on gay marriage was brave on her part, and maybe, just maybe, it's the reason she lost. I mean, all the gay men I know are clucking their tongues and saying, "good luck getting someone to do your hair now, darlin'." But honestly, it really does seem just the tiniest bit obnoxious how much limelight she's soaking up given the fact that she, you know, LOST. If I were Kristen Dalton — the winner of the pageant — I'd be spitting nails right now at what a sore loser my first-runner up is. Because Prejean's not merely saying she doesn't believe in equal rights for same-sex couples and that she has a right to that belief, which she of course does even if I vehemently disagree with her. She's also saying, by stating that her convictions cost her the crown, that Miss North Carolina didn't deserve to win. And that's just plain tacky, honey.

And, furthermore, to stick out as "tacky" in a competition where contestants routinely hairspray their butts to keep their swimsuits in place is a very sad state of affairs to be in.

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Comments

Whit

Who is Perez Hilton?

daisybones

Oh, Amber, my love for you deepens with every snarky post. Secretly, I am reveling in having a new reason to hate beauty pageant contestants, because I will totally overgeneralize her behavior onto all beauty "queens". I feel no guilt for this because seriously? Are we still DOING the pageant thing? It's so ew.

Renee

Loved this post. Especially that last line.

steff

This crazy bish was on the Today show this morning as well peddling her "It shoulda been me! I follow the laws of the bible" stance. Here's my feeling on the matter: Maybe if she hadn't sounded so extremely dopey and "anti-gay" she would have won. Who is to say that though? If she did lose the crown because the judges were disgusted with her "personal beliefs" I kind of feel, well good! At least if that is the case it means that people are wising up and realizing that the banning of the marriage of same-sex couples is the actual taboo, not the marriage of said couples. Now can we get these pageant girls some edumacation outside of the obviously faulty & ignorant system that placed them front & center on the stage of the world? Like how much more embarrassment do we REALLY need? jeebus.

Snarky Amber

You're not serious, are you? If so, we really need to start a policy wherein our writers take a quiz before they join the MamaPop brigade to assess their pop culture aptitude.

rockle

ok, first of all: i hate pageants to begin with, and not just because nobody ever asked me to be in any when i was young and actually cute and talented and stuff, just because i'm only 5' in fuck-me pumps. that's bullshit.

second: the miss usa pageant is part of the miss universe sorority of pageants, which means it is owned by donald trump, which means that if perez hilton is the best he could do for a judge, then the donald is in bigger trouble than we all realize.

third: i actually wonder how poor miss north carolina got messed up with these boneheads, because she DOES appear to be the very epitome of class and grace in this whole debacle, and we all know that the donald is not exactly world-renowned for his classitude.

fourth: perez hilton? REALLY? what, dennis rodman had something else to do? dog the bounty hunter was not available? patrick swayze? no one else returned the pageant's calls?

and finally: shut UP, miss california. sour grapes and bittercakes give you wrinkles. look it up, it's in the bible.

(sorry to sound so damned bitter, but pretty girls whining about how unfair their lives are is just ... tacky, really.)

Rachel

Reminds me of that bitchy ANTM contestant who was all "I'm the most conservative person you'll ever meet, I don't like black people, I don't like gay people, blah blah." She said that to MR AND MRS JAY and Tyra. Needless to say she didn't make it into the top 13.

I'm glad that girl didn't win the crown but she needs to shut the eff up now.

rkmama

Ahh, hairspray butts. I've always wondered how they keep them in place. Thanks for taking that off my How The Hell Do They Do That list.

Beeeee

I didn't see the Miss USA Pageant, and I am very very much for gay marriage.
If this is the reason she lost, then she had a very tenuous hold on the title to begin with, and she needs to shut up about it.
All of that having been said, I do feel for her. She got asked a very difficult, very controversial question, and was bound to rile up SOMEBODY no matter her response.

LovelyLayla

Ugh.
I really, really, strongly dislike Perez Hilton. People like him should not be famous, or getting the money he gets to be famous, because of what he stands for.
I feel kinda bad for this girl because she was HONEST. She could have lied in front of everyone just to make them happy, but she didn't. Then Perez goes to his web site and starts slamming this girl, calling her a whore, and fat, and every name under the sun because of her opinion?
I'm not for or against gay marriage. I believe everyone has the right to be happy, but there will always be consequences, that's just how life is.
But I do agree she needs to suck it up, and stand by who she is and her answer because she is going to continue to make herself shark bait to media and people like Perez.

AmyH

GREAT angle on the whole situation. It is being talked about and written about endlessly and you are the first person to talk about poor Miss North Carolina. I love how you called out how ridiculous the whole thing is with Perez being a judge, Ms Cali being a martyr and how the whole thing is just tacky anyway.

nicely played. nicely played.

ndc

Yes, I agree that she should lose with a bit more grace. Yes, I agree that gay marriage should be legalized. But Ms. CA showed the courage of her convictions; isn't that was the first amedment is all about? Freedom of speech and press? She didn't give the coined "world peace" answer, she's standing up for what she believes in, whether we agree or not.

The fact that Perez awards points (or doesn't awared points) based on his disagreement with her answer RATHER THAN her eloquence, poise etc. bugs me even more.

LovelyLayla

Agreed.

Rhonda

Ditto.

Suzy Q

Well said. Ditto for me.

Barbara

No she should not be commended for speaking her beliefs because she could not speak them coherently. All she could say is that she was raised to believe it was wrong. WTF?

Now, I am not pro state marriage anyway. I believe in the civil union regardless if there is a sexual relationship and leave marriage up to the churches. I happen to think marriage is a sacrament, not a right.

BUT: if Perez Hilton is staring at me while I am being asked about gay marriage, and I can't come up with a well worded response to display my convictions, then I wouldn't complain about losing. If you can't state your beliefs without looking uneducated about WHY you believe the way you do, then you LOSE THE BEAUTY PAGEANT. It's always been that way. Period.

Karina in T.O

I was flipping the channels last night and caught this Hooters wanna-be pageant and couldn't turn away. I think there was all of 4 sets of real breast on that entire stage!

Point number 1) a blogger who draws peen and cum shots on celebs faces shouldn't be taken too seriously. I know the gay community can find a better person to speak for them, no? However Mr. Le Douch did ask a ligit question.

2) This little zealot was on The Today Show this morning and actually gave Matt Lauer the line "it's not about being politically correct, it's about being biblically correct" Really Miss California? If that's the case then you shouldn't be strutting around on stage with big fake tits and clear stripper heels on, because if my Catholic ass isn't mistaken VANITY IS ONE OF THE 7 DEADLY SINS, biblically speaking!

Booya! I love it when good Christians pick and choose what parts of the bible to take literally....

Sorry, but my Jesus, loves gay peeps too.

jodifur

Did not watch it, hate beauty pageants with every fiber of my being.

That being said, do we know for a fact that is why she lost? Or is she guessing? Is it possible she lost for some other reason? Like they did not like the way she walked in the evening gown competition or the fact that she CANNOT STRING A COHERENT SENTENCE TOGETHER?

Also, it is a beauty pageant. When you sign up, you sign up to be judged. That is just the way it is.

I am betting dollars to donuts the Republicans bring this moron out for their convention. She will probably replace Hasselback on the View. At least sub when she is on maternity leave.

Accidental Housewife

Hellz yeah! My Jesus loves everyone, too! Who knew?! Oh, and hellz yeah about vanity... Um, you THINK!?!

Accidental Housewife

Guaranteed. Question? Do you need to know how to spell "Republican" to be a speaker?

Sils

I think, if anything, this lends credibility that it's not *just* a beauty pageant. I mean, right? They're always trying to say that the question and answer section counts and it's not all a T & A competition... so there you go, ugly on the inside? You lose. I think that's a good thing.

She's entitled to her opinion, but if Miss USA is supposed to "represent" our country* I'm pretty happy it's not someone who doesn't believe in equal rights for everyone. I'm happy she was honest, and even happier she lost.

*Bwahahahahaha (gasp) hahahahahHAAHAHAHAHAHA (snort) Sorry, it's hard to pretend I think that Miss USA carries any kind of influence over anyone... other than the moms on Toddlers and Tiaras.

LovelyLayla

While I agree that she did have a rough time putting a complete sentence together, I would probably have a bad time trying to talk as well with a question like that.
Not only having Perez be the one to ask the question, but knowing that your answer is going to be really scrutinized, unlike being asked " What ways do you go Green?" or " Would you adopt kids from a third world country?"
And I don't even know what these girls do, besides getting caught underage drinking, or making out with Miss Teen USA, but I'm sure it has nothing to do with passing legislation for Gay Marriage.

michele

well said.

Miss Kate

THANK YOU!

rockle

i don't know what most miss usa contestants do, but former miss usa (and later miss universe) shawn weatherly went on to star in "oceanquest," a pioneering reality show kind of like "jaws," except instead of richard dreyfus, the "oceanquest" people used shawn weatherly as bait. i understand she also later appeared on "baywatch."

oh, and one former miss universe was married to marc anthony before j-lo was.

no, i don't know why i know these things when i hate pageants so much. i guess i just like trivia more.




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