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Jon & Kate Plus Hate 8: The Season Premiering

Jon_and_kate_plus_8 Yeeeeeah. So that was, in a word, awkward.

For the record, I'd never been interested in the whole Jon & Kate soap opera -slash- televisual phenomenon before last night, so please pardon me if my ignorance shows here. But after the epic media blitz the TLC network punished all of us with over the course of the past week or so, I came to somehow feel certain that it was my duty -- both as a critic of pop culture and as an American citizen -- to ingest the damn thing.

The gastro-intellectual aftermath? Something akin to acute psychic indigestion.

Jon_and_kate_plus_8_tlc Prior to downing the bitter concoction of marital discord and child-psychotherapy-foreshadowing that was last night's premiere, I spent several hours watching TLC's calculatedly tension-building Jon & Kate Plus 8 marathon, and god bless the dear hearts of Jon & Kate defenders, but it isn't hard to see the writing on the wall relative to their coupling after just a few episodes. Here's the essence of what I gleaned after only 5 or 6 viewings:

1. Kate is a sour, miserable human being with an anal-retentive streak several miles wide;
2. Jon is a man who has never quite grown up, and he clearly feels stifled by his overbearing wife and the emasculated man-servant role she's consigned him to;
3. Kate's hair is freaking absurd;
4. Jon really, REALLY doesn't want to be doing the stupid show anymore, and would rather be working out, snowboarding, and chasing co-eds (and I swear to god, I just about came *this close* to saying "And who could blame him?" because oh my god, that woman is enough to make the sanest, most devoted man on planet earth lose his gotdamn mind);
5. Both of them are more than a little vain (understatement alert!);
6. Kate is enjoying this whole fame gig and its perks perhaps a bit more than is seemly, and as the show wears on her children seem more like fashion accessories to her than her reason for being (as she vigorously claims in a 'doth protest too much' manner... unless of course she meant reason for being famous, in which case I say: BINGO!);
7. Despite this, the kids actually seem pretty well-adjusted (time will tell, I guess), proving that TLC's money has purchased the Gosselins some pretty spectacular childcare if nothing else;
8. There is no way in hell this marriage is going to last. DUH.

Did I hit all the primary points fairly well there, long-time viewers?

Jon_and_kate_plus8_premiere Even as an admitted newbie to the Jon & Kateiverse, it was pretty easy to chart out the course that brought the Gosselins to the breaking point seen in last night's premiere. Conversely, it was difficult to fully understand how these parents could continue doing the show in good conscience under such obviously strained and pained circumstances. As I watched the Gosselins -- each interviewed separately now, and each visibly very unhappy -- I couldn't help but think of the fact that ten or so years down the road their children are going to be watching all of this, confronted with the substance of last night's premiere and the similarly unpleasant episodes that are almost sure to follow this season. And that whatever else becomes of them, those children will forever be saddled with the fact that their family's unraveling (and let's face it, impending collapse) became public spectacle and was played out on television screens all over the country, in the homes of complete strangers -- worse yet, in the homes of friends and of people in their hometown -- and that their parents agreed to and profited from it. Let me stress here, I'm not opposed to the nature of the show -- to people sharing their lives publicly, whether it be in a book or on a blog or on a TV show. Not at all or in the slightest. But what's happened here, in my opinion, crossed over into something unsettling and exploitative right around the time that 1) One of the two parents involved openly began to express regret, distaste, and a desire to end the show, and was completely dismissed and ignored, and 2) As ugly allegations and counter-allegations and what clearly is a domestic separation began to unfold, they kept the cameras running and kept right on oversharing. The only word I can think of to describe it is shameless. When the premiere was over, I felt like I needed to take a shower.

I realize of course that my opinions here will be incredibly unpopular with some fans of the show, and I'm fine with that. I guess I'm just wondering, sincerely, how supporters look at last night's premiere and justify it. If that were you -- your family, your children, your spouse, and you were going through that incredibly painful and difficult time, if your marriage was falling apart -- explain to me how you could and why you would keep those cameras rolling, documenting and preserving in excruciating detail for all time what might very well be the most emotionally wrenching time in your childrens' lives, if not your own?

Early in the show Jon Gosselin contemplates the reality that someday his kids are going to google him, and that he's going to have to "explain himself." Which seems to miss the point entirely, and reveals just how out of touch *both* of these adults are. No Jon, someday your kids are going to watch this very episode you yourself are willingly participating in at this precise moment, and it's THEN that both you and your wife are really going to have some serious 'splainin' to do.


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Megan {Velveteen Mind}

They've said and shown in previous episodes that their kids love to watch their show, which until last night, I thought was pretty cool. Like highly edited home movies. Very kid friendly, other than the occasional aside about so-and-so's personality or stubbornness.

Last night, I couldn't help but think about how completely inappropriate this show had suddenly become for any family to watch. Let alone their own.

When Jon said he was done, they should have been done. They didn't quit, I think, largely due to money. It would be the equivalent of them both becoming unemployed simultaneously... though I find it hard to believe that someone like Kate hasn't planned ahead with some hefty savings.

On the other hand, my husband says that Jon is a frickin' genius and has masterminded this whole thing to boost their ratings and cash. Um, he's only watched a few episodes. ;)


I tried, and when I say tried, I really mean I tried, to watch this show before it premiered because every female in my family swears by it. I couldn't make it through more than 5 minutes. It was the Christmas Caroling episode. As soon as she interrupted Jon after he said "the wife" and she was all " don't call me the wife, call me by my name" I was like, well I'm done. I don't feel bad for either of them, but I do feel bad for the kids. All they do is snap at each other, usually when Jon doesn't want to go along with one of her ideas. I don't like either of them, and don't really get the appeal of the show.
I'll stick to Wife Swap. LOL.


Yup. What she said.

I haven't been faithfully watching every episode, but as the reality show morphed into a soap opera, I decided I wanted to tune in. You know, in the same way one slows to gawk at an accident scene.

My guess is the perks provided by the show are hard to give up and thus the cameras continue to roll despite how absurd the story has become. I'm going to watch the Duggers instead.

Motherhood Uncensored

I've seen episodes here and there and have been loosely following them.

Your assessment is spot on. In fact your list was my list last night.

My assessment prior to this show is that she has completely emasculated him, and he basically just bows to her will. Of course, that's his choice, right? And my guess is that he had enough, and instead of saying "Yo, bitch, I'm over this" he "acted out" inappropriately and now this is where they are.

Overall, I think it's terribly sad. And I asked my husband if he thought they'd be in the same place had they not have done the show. Granted they wouldn't have the cars, the big house, the money, or maybe even the book deals, but I wonder if this wasn't what did them in, or if it was already doomed.

Either way, I felt completely upset by it, as if someone had died.


Last night was the first episode that I've watched and I am now filled with rage at everyone who didn't insist that I tune in sooner.

Jon is a child and should really look into growing a pair.

I was all ready to despise Kate, based on hair alone, which I find is a wonderful guide to character in general, but I sort of like her. I know. I must learn to be more judgmental.

But OMG, Jon's whining. "She forgot the cake and I had to go back and get it. She forgot her cell and I had to go back and get it." You know what she didn't forget, and you did, asshole? The fact that the two of you are married. DUH.


Last night's episode made me very sad for all ten of the Gosselins and I can't help but hope for the very best for all of them.

I think we should remember that not every moment of their marriage is captured in the aired episodes of the show. At least I hope that they have some private, more joyful moments together that we aren't given access to.

Jozet at Halushki

Wow. I've never watched this show before. I don't know what to say. I feel very bad for these people. Fame is, I suppose, addictive or...something. But they need to get out of this. Personally, I'll take part in the intervention and change the channel.


it was a train wreck, a total train wreck. I couldnt help but watch, hell even my hubster watched


Great observations! I agree. They both make me gag therefore I do not watch the show!! Well the kids are cute so maybe I would watch just to see the cute kids. The adults - GAG!!!


I promised myself I wouldn't watch it and then I watched the first 5 minutes and turned it off. But I was pleased Kate finally admitted two truths-

1. She is never home.

2. They have help.

If a television show was destroying your family, wouldn't you get out? These people are fame whores and I don't feel bad for them one bit. I actually don't think the marriage is over. I think they will drag it out for the sake of ratings forever b/c no one has the best interest of the children in mind.


Well, it was definitely awkward and painful and when my favorite of the kids, Alexis, said to Jon at the party, "Daddy, I don't want you to leave anymore," and he didn't seem bothered at all by that, I sort of lost it.

Now, I see what everyone sees with Kate, but I do agree with her when she said, "People have to be responsible for their own actions." Did she push him to jump ship? Possibly, but he's a grown man and he's a father and a husband, and leaving his house/marriage/family to go find his happiness elsewhere just makes him look like a coward to me. Deal with the crap going on at home, leave respectfully and then bar hop or date teachers or cavort with co-eds. No one will blame you for getting out of the marriage and then doing what you please but staying in the marriage and doing whatever you please makes you look pathetic. To me.

To continue the show, I imagine they both had to sign into a contract, and if he allowed Kate to bully him into that decision, I just don't feel sorry for him. If he was adamant about not participating, then the show wouldn't have gone on, I suspect, although I could be wrong about how these shows are produced, but don't they both have to be consenting parties? Or did he change his mind too late, when already contractually obligated and Kate wouldn't back out even with his hesitations? I guess we'll never know, but he has already emotionally checked out, and it's just not entertaining any longer. It's gut-wrenching. For those kids, my god. And they're old enough to know exactly what's going on, and I don't think they'll need to even watch the show or Google their parents' names before they know exactly what's going on. Hell, they are in a public school. All they need is one student who has a mom who reads US Weekly and they're going to face these rumors quicker than anyone would like.

I've watched from the beginning and have seen pretty much every episode and as a "fan" of the show, I just viewed the premiere as painful and sad and it should have been the premiere and finale, for all their sakes. There weren't previews for next week's episode, so I'm curious how the rest of the season is going to unfold. Mainly, I just hope those kids turn out OK. They really are good, sweet kids, which is something, you know. (Especially, Alexis. My god, I'd like to adopt her, she's so damn adorable.)


I don't particularly care for the show, for all the reasons that have already been expressed. And honestly? I'm sorry, but I don't think that those kids are very well adjusted, truthfully. I'll be the first to admit that I don't understand the dynamics of raising that many children, because I am not in that situation. However, I feel like they act out quite a bit (maybe just for attention, because hey, when you're competing with that many other kids, it must be hard!) and I find it difficult to watch. Even more difficult because Jon and Kate don't seem to really work as a team whatsoever. It's like watching a trainwreck, and I just don't want to be part of it. Maybe if everyone stops watching, the show will be over and they can start dealing with their issues off camera like regular people instead of pseudo-celebs.

As for watching the Duggars instead, I still can't wrap my head around having that many children. Or encouraging their children to also have that many children. However, whether I understand/agree with their beliefs or not, I have to admit that the Duggars really seem like a lovely family. All of them. They seem to be very loving and genuinely happy, and I absolutely respect them for that. Maybe they could teach Jon and Kate a thing or two about partnership...

Kaza (from Kaza's Place)

Right on the money Sweetney! A very astute assessment, particularly given that you hadn't known the show before this weekend's marathon.

As for why they are filming the implosion of their marriage: there could be a contract issue, though it seems clear that Kate has no objection whatsoever to the continual filming. The producers/network are taking full advantage of what for them is ratings gold. Shame on them. And, I suppose, shame on me for finding it incredibly juicy and watching it in the first place! But I was shocked at just how sad the situation has become for everyone involved, and felt just awful for all of them.

I don't blame either of them for needing consistent breaks from what has GOT to be a stressful parenting situation (I need breaks, and I've only got one kid!). I also don't believe that Kate should be demonized for becoming the one to work outside the home and for enjoying what has become a career for her. I hope we won't see the typical cultural discourse of blaming the mother for not being what people think a mother should be.

I agree though with Sweetney that the filming of the show right now, as the marriage is in crisis, is crossing a line into exploitation. I find it difficult to believe that Jon would be doing it willingly, given his feelings about continuing, unless he was forced to do so because of a contractual obligation. Though Jon and Kate ought to insist that they postpone, there are more powerful entities involved here, and I don't see anyone holding them accountable. We need to move the debate away from the family and toward those in the position to stop the exploitation.

The question is, will we stop watching in the meantime?


Those poor poor children.

I've always thought Kate was a controlling bitch, but it wasn't SO bad cuz she and Jon seemed to get along well. I seriously do NOT blame him for finally saying enough is enough (ok, not in the best way possible) and escaping the show as much as he could.

Before watching last night (and I'm an avid viewer) I was CONVINCED Jon was having an affair. Now....I just think that he was trying to get away from Kate, the show, and their horrible marriage.

Those poor poor children


I am only a casual watcher but I have said before and I will say again--Jon doesn't do anything without Kate telling him to. So she may *have* to be like that because otherwise nothing will get done. If you go back to the very first special they did when the kids were babies, Jon and Kate were a happy couple. They traveled and they laughed a lot together. It was clear that they were in love. When they added 6 babies to the mix, things were inevitably going to change. The problem is that Kate took on the scheduling and making sure everything happened in order to get through the day and Jon just seemed to be along for the ride. He didn't take initiative and his choice to do that made it so that she turned into a control freak that bosses him around.

I think that would happen to most people if put in the same situation. The logistics behind making life with 8 kids work would make the best of us a little like Kate. (if not a lot like her)

Last night was hard to watch because you can see that she realizes just how far off course they have gotten. You also see her vulnerability at times and it is sad to see things hanging by a thread.


Great post, Sweetney.

These poor kids. I think you could see a difference in the older girls in last night's ep. They obviously know something is up.

Both parents are to blame, but I firmly believe Kate is what's preventing anything constructive from happening with the family. She seems unwilling to stop "the business", despite the fact that this is what Jon wants. I feel like she wants the big house, the trips, the fame, but she's unwilling to recognize that the unsavory stuff that comes with that is not optional. It just happens. I really can't believe that with reports of them making between $25-75K per ep, with four seasons under their belt, they don't have enough money to quit the show entirely, or at least cut back. Cut back to a 12-ep season or something that doesn't require cameras in your home every single day. It has to end sometime. I can't imagine that when those kids hit puberty they will allow themselves to be filmed all the time.

Bottom line, if she wants this marriage to work, she's going to have to take a long, hard look at her nasty, nasty behavior and they need to stop filming. Immediately. I highly doubt this is going to happen, and I honestly feel bad about watching a marriage unfold on television when there are kids involved.


the whole thing makes me want to cry. in the beginning--they were really good and seeing them make it from day to day on their own was an inspiration.

they should have stopped ages ago and everyone that ever rooted for their family is devastated. i am so sad.


I've watched sporadically over the years and did watch last night. I do NOT like Kate. Period. Stop WHINING about doing the birthday party on your own. Good lord, you have eleventy jillion people helping you at all times. My mom never had ANY assistance planning/baking/cooking/cleaning/decorating for any of our birthdays. (mind you there were only 4 of us but still)

BUT: a few things I was surprised by last night.
1. While decorating the site for the birthday party Kate was laughing. I've never seen her laugh and/or look genuinely happy. I was surprised by that b/c she looked so sad in her sit down interviews and generally she's an unpleasant woman.
2. Her sit-down interviews were the first time that I have ever not been fully annoyed by her (aside from her "did i do ___? yes, I did. did i ___? Yes." interview style. I hate that.)
3. It almost seemed like they were already legally separated or something. The way they were talking about being together for the kids for this party, and how they would be friends and the kids would know they both loved them.

No matter what happens, i think they should have called it quits with the show after one or 2 seasons. The kids need Mom and Dad more than they need a mcmansion. (that sounds like i'm bashing single parents. not my intention. i mean: mom and dad in this case were coping before all the attention "changed" them)


I'm surprised at how many moms love to hate on Kate. Moms carry enough guilt (she even said so last night on the show, mentioned her "mommy guilt") on their own without the world heaping it upon them, as well. The facts are that we as the public are clueless as to what is really happening within their marriage, and I'd much rather give them positive energy and hope that they do stay together. This is sad, and I am sad for them.

SciFi Dad

I did not watch last night (we prefer our exploitation to be of the unmarried variety; The Bachelorette).

However, I just wanted to point out that if Jon didn't want "this", contract or no contract, he doesn't have to be useful and give them tv-worthy moments. All he needs to do is answer questions with one or two words and not run off at the mouth. If he doesn't give them something worth watching, people will stop watching, and the show will be canceled.

Bottom line: Jon is an active and willing participant in this.

As for the notoriety of the show, to quote Homer Simpson, "It's funny because it isn't me."

Karen Sugarpants

You are bang-on with your list, and assessment. I've watched the show on and off since it started, and always thought Jon had never really grown up, nor would he ever since Kate's vice on his balls seem to be unforgiving. She is definitely a control freak times infinity - no question. For both of them to change with the fame was probably a test of their marriage, and obviously they changed enough that they grew apart (and I'm hearing they both cheated? No idea what is true, but whatever.) I couldn't help but think that at least Kate is reflecting and hopefully realizing what got them here, whereas Jon seemed either checked out or unwilling to participate in this onscreen armchair psychiatry the producer was trying to pull on him. Dude wanted out!
I felt guilty watching last night, I felt sad for both the parents and the kids, and I really think they should have shut it down like they said they were going to at the end of last season. I think last night's episode was definitely awkward, weird for the viewer, and looks bad on TLC especially, who clearly knows where their bread is buttered (on the backs of 8 small children) and don't care.
Let's hope for the kids sake, the cameras stop and the 10 of them are okay, no matter the outcome.
For someone who doesn't watch the show, you did a great job writing it up!

Karen Sugarpants

Oh yeah and Kate's hair? REDONKULOUS!

Fairly Odd Mother

You are right on---I've seen a few episodes over the years but I'm not an 'avid' watcher and it's been hard to watch their marriage fall apart. The last few minutes of the last show of the last season were very telling---they were asked, "do you want to do another season" and he was very clearly saying "NO" and she was NOT listening. Pretty sad.

I think she is way too addicted to her new life as a spokesmother and lecturer and celebrity. I've read she travels A LOT. He allowed himself to be pushed into the role of 100% house husband and he resents it terribly.

And, when his little girl said she didn't want him to go away anymore? I wanted to cry b/c he is going to go away---I think it is pretty clear---and I hope they get the sense to stop filming this before they get to that point.


I think Kate is and has been so caught up in her own self-importance that she is only now starting to *get* how she may have messed things up.

I'm not sure I wouldn't be the same way in their situation.

I think Jon is a lost soul who has to have direction and because of that, when he steps out of line, he blames the director.

This thing has gotten out of hand. They should close up shop, put aside their resentments and really look at where they oughta go from here.

Jennifer, Playgroups are no place for children

I was always kind of a fan of the show. Kate, in the beginning, just seemed like a stressed out mom, who was definitely a little mean to her husband. I identified with her, in a way, because I was a stressed out mom and was often a little mean to my husband.

But then, she wasn't just a little mean, she was outright hostile, a bully. Jon seemed to have lost whatever balls he had and silently took the abuse. I hoped their behavior and relationship was edited to make it look worse than it really was, for ratings.
I'm guessing now that there wasn't just a bunch of clever editing, but what we saw was a pretty accurate picture of their relationship.

Last night's episode left me feeling so sad for those kids. I agree that they should turn off those cameras, and probably should have turned off those cameras years ago. Their life, because of the show and their insistence on continuing, is OUT OF CONTROL. Stop the madness, Jon and Kate. Seriously.


I just found you through Marinka on Twitter and I've already stumbled this post. Well done. I'm a fan and I'll be back

oh and for the record? I totally agree with you on all this. This people are shameless


I forgot my other point when i commented earlier: out of curiosity I went to see Kate's blog. The only post I found was apparently written on May 16 and seemed to be written the day she went to take the kids shopping. She said Jon had "a previous engagement" that he had "forgotten about" and was ridiculously positive about how great it all went. Um. You do remember that they FILM you right?


Kate is a crazy bitch and Jon is a brat who made his damn bed when he picked her. I have no sympathy for either of them. I'm on team Maddy, the only one in that family who seems to understand that this show is a train wreck. I stopped watching the show when I noticed that Kate NEVER says anything nice about Jon without delivering it with a stinging backhand. Also, the way she talked about the boys made me want to kid nap those sweet little guys and tell them that they aren't icky for 36 straight hours.


Marinka's comment kills me! heh.

I don't watch it but of course I know all about it cause "everyone" watches it. I think the poor kids are like 8 Jim Carrey's in The Truman Show. Their lives are reality TV fodder and they didn't agree to that and don't even realize it. I see giant therapy bills in Jon and Kate's future.

Perhaps Jon and Kate are both dillholes at this stage and deserve what they get, but I won't be tuning in to watch the poor kiddos family implode.

Mr Lady

I don't watch it, never have, never will. So you had 8 kids. My dad had 12. Big whoop. I want to watch some half-ass parenting, I can set a camera up in my living room.

Clown cars are entertaining. Clown vaginas not so much.




Purple, isn't Kate leaving home to find her own happiness, too? It's just that she invites the cameras along and makes money doing it? She's been just as negligent as he, just done it by herself.


AmyC65: Totally get your point here, and I don't mean to seem like I'm siding with Kate because I'm really not. I find how he's handling things sad and cowardly, but I don't think she's handling things better or admirably, either. I should have specified that a bit better.


Doesn't Kate have "people" or "Handlers" who could tell her enough with the hair already?? Blech!


I've watched it on and off over the years and I've always found her to be quiet annoying and him lacking in backbone.

Basically I fully agree with you. However the real reason I stopped watching the show isn't because she's annoying or Jon's dumb, it's because of the way she doesn't let her kids just be kids. For some reason the way she talks to them and the anal way she is about everything they do, bothers more than anything else.

Those are some dam cute (seemingly sweet) kids and I think their parents need to learn to live without cameras and just be with their kids, before the kids want nothing to do with them.


I don't know if I was vengeful against my spouse--a WHOLE SHOW TO BITCH? AMERICA TAKE MY SIDE. WOOOH!

No seriously, I didn't even know who these people were and every time I went to the store there were these pictures of these people who apparently did horrible, horrible things. I was scared they were serial killers or something. So count me relieved!

Mrs. Wilson

The show last night made me so sad. I would 100% take the cameras away if it was causing that much trouble in my marriage. It's not worth it. No amount of money is worth ruining your marriage over. Kate needs to let it go.


I don't watch the show often and didn't see the premier (just the clip here). I think they should use this to show people what it is like to try to save a marriage. What marriage counseling is about and maybe it can work? It could give more people exposure to the idea of working it out instead of staying in their anger.


I have always liked watching the show. For the most part b/c they seemed to be a "real family". I cannot watch the Duggars, while they seem nice- just something about the whole thing seems nauseating.
Watching the show last night was painful. You could see the difference in their body language. One person mentioned Kate laughing; however it seemed very unnatural. I think she wants to seem more appealing to viewers (and everyone else) b/c she knows what people are saying. The problems in their marriage have to do with the way the two handled their lives- it isn't the show itself.
I think last night was too much. It was awkward to watch.
And yes, when Alexis said, "Daddy I don't want you to leave so much" I was heartbroken.


Awesome review, Sweetney! I've watched the show off and on over the years... and actually watched quite a bit of the marathon just to see if I could spot the point at which everything started to unravel.

I really, really hope that the bigwigs at TLC are in tune with what we're all saying... that the show must NOT go on. I mean, when has that network been about controversial programming?!? It's so sad that it had to come to this, and couldn't have ended on a high note. They even had to cut out the voiceover on the beginning... about how they're in it together.

Karina in T.O

It was very uncomfortable to watch....not the same kinda uncomfortable as say Rock of Love, because this was nowhere near as fun or skeevy (even if you loosened up with a couple of glasses of wine).

They look like two people who genuinly DO NOT like each other anymore. I don't care if they are under contract with TLC for this year, someone needs to man up and say 'you know what? Enough with the oversharing, our family is in crisis, and this show ends right here, right now'. But I doubt anyone will stop this boulder from going downhill full speed ahead.

What's next? Marriage counselling sessions caught on tape?

I need to ask this question though...in general. Do people that do these 'reality shows' just not understand that they'll look like a-holes once they're on television? It's like all of ones worse traits are magnified. So WHY DO IT??


Totally agree with this assessment. It was a trainwreck of epic proportions and I feel sorry for the kids.

There's one other thing that we picked up on as we were watching - not sure what episode it was. Jon mentioned that he got married at 22, had the twins at 25 and the sextuplets by 27 (or something). Quite honestly, 27 is about the age most people start coming into real adulthood - he's having a midlife crisis and probably feels kind of cheated (and that he made a mistake marrying such a harpy).


And if they really had the best interests of the kids at heart, they'd end the show, and damn the legal or other repercussions.

Although, there wasn't a lot of individual camera time for the kids in the premiere.


Ok, I know it's very popular to beat up Kate, but in the times I've watched the show I've seen a woman raise 8 very small children largely by herself. In the early days, he was working outside the home and she organized their life and finances to allow them to afford to support the kids as well as keeping it all together. I have twins and honestly, i don't have any bloody idea how she did it.

Could she have been nicer over the years? Yes, but let me tell you - he spent a lot more time outside the home getting some balance. She didn't. Yes, they can afford a lot more now, but it was years when that wasn't true and she was home just hoping someone would help her.

Heaven forbid that she found a way to make money and leaves the home. Are you kidding me? If she was in a different industry and could make a lot more money by working, the stigma might still be high, but not as high as it is now. Hey - she can make more. Sorry Jon. Get over it.

Yep - I can image it was insane for both of them to have 8 babies under 3. Yes - read that again: 8 babies under 3!! Who is prepared for that? No one. And neither were bringing home million dollar salaries at the time. The stress must have been tremendous. I can't believe they never (sacriledge!) thought - "maybe I shouldn't have done this?" But choices are what they are and for the most part I think they've tried pretty hard.

If she's rude, he shouldn't act like a baby and roll his eyes or snap back. He should talk to her like an adult. It's amazing the change you see. But he didn't choose to do that. Unfortunate.

I don't know - marriages are hard. But from a distance I do see a strong woman who has tried to make the best of things overall. I hope she makes it - whatever it is.


The thing that bugged me about last night's episode (besides, um, all of it) was the part when Jon was bitching about Kate being away from home because she was working. She wrote a book, she was promoting the book (I'm assuming, that's what the show made it seem like), so unless she said, "Listen, I'm leaving. You're staying. Deal with it." and then shackled him to the home, it sounds like a lot of relationships I know where one spouse travels occasionally for their job and the other stays close to home to care for the kids.

WTF was his problem with that?

He felt emasculated because his wife was working and he wasn't?? About being a stay-at-home dad?? It's 2009, bud, lots of men do it quite well.

However, if he's resentful because she's more famous than he is, that is a completely different green-eyed animal.


Gawd, these people make my teeth itch.


I used to love that show. Now it has turned into something just very, very sad. Like banana chips.




I have to agree with Mr. Lady. How many of us had grandparents who came from large families, and they were raised with way less money, no fame, and had to walk in the snow both ways to get to school? I just get a little queasy at the thought that these two thought " oh great, lets have this huge family, and maybe, just maybe we can make money off of having so many kids..." Yeah the Duggars have way more kids, and the same kind of show, but you know what, they make their own money, and they are grounded. My hope is these kids don't turn out to be money hungry as they get older. They will probably make $$$ from selling their life stories, and how they felt they were exploited.
It's easy to hate on both Jon and Kate. On one hand I can see where Kate gets frustrated because she does so much, but hey, that's what she wanted. I can't wrap my head around the fact that Jon has sat back quietly for so long without telling her he didn't want to do half of the things they have done. He has to have said something, and either TLC or Kate herself just ignored it. But as said above, he too, knew what he was getting into. Money makes the world go round, and apparently it makes some families go round too.


" No amount of money is worth ruining your marriage over."

EXACTLY. No amount of money is worth ruining your marriage or the lives and well-being of you children.

I used to watch the show. Not religiously, but I watched, because the kids were cute and Kate wasn't always an absolutely repellent human being. I stopped watching around the time they got the free trip to Utah, because I was starting to get skeeved out, re: exploiting their babies, but have caught an episode here and there out of sheer morbid curiosity. I watched last night basically because there was nothing else on (Come ON, Weeds!)

Both Jon and Kate said last night, "I'm here for my kids, I'm here for my kids, the kids, the kids, the kids, the kids, the kids." Yes. That's wonderful. Don't you think your kids would be better off without the cameras and without being followed by paparazzi? Don't you think your kids would be better off with two happy parents instead of two miserable ones? One of them - I forget which - said "this has changed us". Uh, you think? Fame (no matter how it's achieved) and money changes people, usually for the worse. When they saw those changes happening they should have taken a step back and said, "Woah. I think we need to stop." But why would they stop when there are things like free trips to Oahu and Disney to take?

Gah, apologies. I'm rambling, because this rankles me so. In summation: Jon and Kate did this to themselves. And the only ones they'll have to answer to is their children. I certainly hope they've saved some of the money they've earned for therapy.


I am tired of trying to figure out what makes me so mad about Jon and Kate and it has boiled down to using the kids for profit.I feel sad they will see this and it pains me to know it will happen....Being said I have two things to add

Kate,please for the love of all that is good,ditch the reverse mulet you are sporting and Xanax,look into it....

Jon,Grow a pair and BTW, take off the IU teeshirt....It makes the rest of us IU grads pissy


I feel bad for them. I think they got caught up in the show, the fame, etc. and were unprepared for what it would turn into. No, Kate doesn't seem like the nicest person in the world, but I agree w/ what Jes said. The woman has 8 kids (!!) Cut her some slack! I'm bitchy to my husband a lot & I only have 2! It has gotten ugly, but I don't think there's any call for cover stories like US Weekly's "Mom to Monster." Come ON! Among her alleged infractions: getting bi-weekly manicures & insisting on organic chicken at photo shoots. OMG, what a monster!! Wouldn't you do the same if you could? I would!


I agree with Jes. Of course Kate is controlling, but she's the one who stayed home with 8 kids while Jon was at work. Kate is the one who had to organize 8 kids every day - every night. And now mothers everywhere feel the need to bash her for taking on a career after her youngest children have finally started school but have another parent willing to stay home to care for them? What a horrible mother! I wonder what people must think of me as a single parent who must leave her 1st grader in after-school care once all of her friends have gone home...to a parent. GASP!

I think it's unfortunate that this post accuses the Gosselins, two very loving parents, of using their children as "fashion accessories". I agree that this episode was awkward and painful to watch, and yes - their children may possibly be watching their parents' marriage unfold on television, but it's nothing they aren't seeing at home. I think the Gosselins have done a fabulous job raising these kids in a not-so-normal environment.


Thank God and Hallelujah, you hit the nail on the head. I've had to endure this show here and there thanks to my wife/mom/sister, and I think these people only didn't divorce BECAUSE of the TV show. Now there's too many people watching, and too much money to be made.

It's horribly sad for the kids, and that's why I want no part of watching it or, except for this moment, talking about it.


True, but it is MUCH more expensive to live now than it was then. My dad grew up with his 11 cousins in the same house and even though they didn't have much, they survived. But the house they lived in cost $10,000 and the food they bought was nothing compared to today. It was just a different time and a dollar went a lot further then.


did you notice though that while she laughed and chit chatted with her 'help' nobody said anything back to her or laughed.

Samantha L.

I said I wasn't going to watch, but I did. I couldn't help myself (apparently, like the rest of America). It was sad, it was uncomfortable, and weirdly, Kate was far more likeable than she's been in ages (whether or not her behavior was contrived or not is another question). Jon seemed heavily medicated and petulant. I know they both want to be there for their kids but I agree, why not ask for a month off and send the cameras away. The marriage - unless they're both world class actors - seems like it's over.

I know many people think Kate's a monster, and criticize her being away so much, especially at this time. But really, if you had 8 children - even with help - wouldn't you JUMP at the opportunity to go do something different, just for a little while? I know I'm thrilled to go to the grocery store alone; I completely understand that allure.

Still, the whole time, they never said that they loved each other. That was tremendously sad.


Fabulous post, loved it!!

So true, so sad. It was awful to watch, I felt almost as uncomfortable as they must have. Just a train-wreck . . . I wanted to turn it off but I simply couldn't bring myself to do it. The worst part? I'll probably watch next week b/c I need to see how things turn out for these poor kids.


I don't agree with many of the Gosselins' life choices, but I find it disturbing that the general tone in the tabloids is "cheating low-life vs. greedy child-avoiding shrew."

While I can't imagine Kate and I would be friends under any circumstances, I am reeeaaallly uncomfortable by the depiction of her as a grasping fame whore.

It's the acceptance of the classic double standard that makes me uncomfortable. I think I'm being kind when I say that Jon is not a real ambitious go-getter career guy.

So, ok, he's a passive unhappy slacker, which still wins him sympathy for being a "good dad." But Kate is somehow an unnatural creature because she has grabbed the reins and gone for broke by using her 15 minutes of fame to support her family? Because her personality is abrasive?

I can't agree with that after watching my sister go through an ugly divorce and have to figure out how to pay alimony to her ex and struggle to support 5 less children than Kate has.

The other thing that no one talks about is how quickly this shit-storm has descended on them. Regardless of what has been going on in private, in little more than a month their public lives have been viciously torn to shreds.

In a regular relationship, no matter how warped, there is more time to deal with this crap. They've just had to muscle through it, because even if they announced the show was over tomorrow, you can bet they'd still have paparazzi following them to the grocery store and nasty articles showing up in the tabloids.

I think it's a really good lesson in Reality TV 101, and I thank God I'll never be famous.

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