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One More Reason To Love Lily Allen, And Another To Fear Posh Spice

Posh-monster

I don't have anything against Victoria "Posh Spice" Beckham, really. I mean, sure: she dresses like an out-of-work dominatrix and has boobs that look like squashed baby heads and never smiles and sometimes hangs out with Katie Holmes (tolerance of the presence of cyborgs being, arguably, evidence of some lack of judgment) and once publicly compared her husband's man-bits to a 'tractor exhaust pipe', but still. I'm sure that she's a very nice person, underneath it all.

But that doesn't mean that I didn't make a little snort-giggle noise when I read this:


"Everyone knows Victoria is a monster. I'd rather shoot myself between the eyes than be a WAG."

That's Lily Allen. She's allowed to say stuff like that because she's tiny and adorable and has that squeeky little British accent that makes you want to demand that she sit down with you and have tea and crumpets.

(Anyone know what a WAG is? I think that it has something to do with football, but for the life of me I can't decipher the acronym. I'd make something up, but I haven't had enough coffee for that level of creativity.)

(White Anglo Guy-eater?)

So, yeah. It was maybe a harsh thing for Lily to say, but seriously, if you check out Victoria's latest underwear ad, it's kinda hard to not think that there's something to the monster argument. I mean, she appears to be a twelve-foot Lace-Eater demon with dragon nails and a whip on her head. And the inevitable baby heads stuffed in her bra. Which, maybe if you endured an adolescence of terminal flat-chestedness and uncooperative hair, you too would turn to the dark arts to inflate your front and turn your hair into a weapon.

(Wait. I did endure a flat-chested and bad-haired adolescence. Where's my deal with the devil?)

(Where was I?)

Right. Lily Allen. That was kind of mean of what you said, Lily. Now, could you say it again, but pointing at the Armani underwear ad? Maybe with your pinky finger crooked, while holding a cuppa tea?

That's better.

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Comments

lori

Posh scares me.

WAG stands for "Wives and Girlfriends" I think. I believe it refers to the Wives & Girlfriends of footballers.

Karen Sugarpants

I love Lily Allen.

Fairly Odd Mother

Lily Allen is the best. And, Posh is the true Scary Spice.

Karina in T.O

Yup, on both counts.




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