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The Real Housewives of New Jersey (Episode 3): Not One of Us

Picture 9  (This week we're doing a little live blog action so you can see how I feel in REAL time)

Teresa is taking her 7 year old, Gia to a meeting with Wilhelmina modeling agency in New York. It's super important, so says Teresa but you guys! Remember! Teresa is NOT a stage mom!

I love that Teresa beeps at the people in line for the Lincoln Tunnel. Yes, Teresa that's how it works, beep at the cars and they'll go faster. DUH.
Newsflash: IT'S THE GOD DAMN LINCOLN TUNNEL. By the way even though Gia is a precocious little 7 year old going on an obnoxious 17 year old, I kind of dig her and ability to know directions. If worse comes to worse thank God she can read.

"It is a dream of mine for Gia to have the best representation and whatever I have to do to make it happen? I will" See? Not a stage mom.

Dina and Caroline have this brother Jamie who is a celebrity stylist and you know what this world needs? Picture 15 The male version of Dina, of course. Someone who's just as, "Why aren't you listening to me right this very second?" as she is. And despite my disdain for her tiresome 'look at me' attitude, I must say that she looks very pretty during her one-on-one interviews. I'm assuming that her outward beauty is how she gets what she wants and it's working for her. So perhaps my disdain is one of jealousy?

Here's what I've been finding odd for the past few weeks: Dina keeps mentioning her husband and how he takes care of her, etc. etc. but we never see her husband. It's reminiscent of Kim (from Real Housewives of Atlanta) and her boyfriend Big Poppa and it's really effing annoying. I hate that coy, I have someone that you'll never see him so there! thing because really, what is the point? At least with Big Poppa it was interesting and the other ladies talked about how ridiculous Kim was but with Dina it's this guy who - as far as we know - is only married to her - but he's kept under wraps. Quick! Someone Google that shit!

Seeing this real side of Dina and the guilt that she feels in that eternal struggle for balance between work life and home life is actually endearing. I think I'm starting to like Dina. I mean she has her flaws and she's a little out there but damn, she might actually be a real person.

Last week I mentioned Jacqueline's daughter Ashley who is spoiled due to severe mommy guilt on the part of Jacqueline. Ashley has just finished the school year with two (count 'em two) failing grades and her (Ashley's) response is "Well, I knew that was coming for geometry....[in history] I thought you could take care of that..." Sweetie, this ain't Gossip Girl though this is Bravo there's still a bit of reality thrown in and in the real world that you have yet to become acquainted with; when you fail you get in trouble and you might end up completely screwed no matter how much money your parents have.

(Seriously, I need to move away from this subject because my blood pressure is rising.)

(I will say that Caroline is right and that going to school and passing is um...expected since it's school and again my head hurts because how do you not understand that part of attending school and doing well so you can move on with your life? Who wants to be in high school forever?)

Newsflash! Danielle likes to take care of her body because how else does a 45 year old get a 26 year old that resembles at 47 year old? That's every woman's dream: A 26 year old with a bald spot. Swoon. But Danielle is in love with Steve yet her daughters are totally skeeved out by him and Danielle's response is "Eh, he makes me feel the way I want to feel. Like my rock hard abs?"

Caroline's daughter doesn't want to do anything that might force her to do real work. Hmm, I sense a theme here.

Picture 12 Once again we are treated with a montage of Gia doing something modeling related. To tell you the truth watching this part always makes me cringe because something about little kids as models and how honest they are able to be as to whether or not they really enjoy it. It all makes me feel like maybe I should look away and let them do their own thing no matter how much I protest. It's none of my business but the way Teresa back tracks and lies? That woman is not only unintentionally hilarious but she'd make a great politician one day.

Danielle is really trying to be friendly with the other ladies and try as she might they aren't having any of it. Especially that Dina who I almost liked about 20 minutes ago. She's mean just for the sake of being mean. Of course we don't know the back story but I cannot help but agree with Danielle when she says on her one-on-one that you don't come into someones home and disrespect that person. And for someone who is supposed to be wealthy and classy Dina comes off as crass and rude. Socializing 101: Don't talk shit about someone while they're sitting right in front of you.

For future reference Danielle thinks that Dina is 'condensensing' not 'condescending' but 'condensensing'. As you were.

You know what you do when your kid fails two classes and has to go to summer school but doesn't understand the concept of passing school or summer school? You buy her a car. And again; as you were.

Scratch what I said earlier: You know what's awkward? Watching a 45 year old woman who is looking for Picture 14 someone with money try to figure out what to do with her 26 year old boyfriend who has no money. Even worse watching this 45 year old woman wonder out loud why her 26 year old boyfriend is so immature. While we're at it let's discuss other obvious things like the color of the grass.

It's fun finally getting to see where in the season the scenes from the preview episode came from. Like when Teresa says, "As I far as I know he comes there for his.........daily blow job"? That's in THIS episode. She's talking about Steve. I, too am shocked that a 26 year old is only in it for the sex. Mind officially blown.

Aaaaand Caroline still wants to investigate. I swear this show is like a surprise a minute.

Next week: Dina's daughter heads abroad, Teresa is moving into Versailles, Danielle openly flirts with Caroline's 21 year old son, there are rumors about Danielle and... dun dun duuuuun A BOOK! With her mugshot! 







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Comments

Fairly Odd Mother

Thank you for saving me from having to actually watch this train wreck of a show this week.

Why do I get the feeling that Teresa is going to find out they aren't as "rich" as she thinks and that Danielle's "ex" husband is going to kick her to the curb. I'm also waiting to hear that Danielle is doing a Playboy shoot for cash.

The only one I even remotely like is Jacqueline but that's not saying much. And, I have a feeling that Dina's husband is either in the witness protection program or is absolutely, positively refusing to have a single thing to do with this show. Did you notice he's not even in the initial family shots at the start of the show?

Amy

I'm really, REALLY embarassed to admit this, but I have seen Dina's husband! Dina was on one of those bride shows on VH1~My Big Fat Fabulous Wedding a couple of years ago. Gawd, I have a serious tv viewing problem. It's so sad that I recognized Dina right away from watching her get married! I know I need help, yet I continue to watch. Admitting you have a problem is the first step..right?

Please tell me someone else watched this so I know I'm not the only one:
http://www.vh1.com/shows/dyn/my_big_fat_fabulous_wedding/122360/episode.jhtml

Westerdore

You're right, and I thought the same thing when I saw her on the show myself. "Where have I seen her before?" Oh, that's right. Here. On my couch. Proof: http://www.bravofan.com/untitled-28/

Amy

Okay so I'm no Nancy Drew obviously :). At least it's validation that I'm not the only crazy kid that noticed. My job is done.

JennC

I saw that too - recognized her right away. (LOVED her dress!)

Baltimoregal

OH my God! I didn't recognize her! I don't think she's very happy- can't imagine why.

KBO

Dude, Teresa is so, so, clueless. The lady at Wilhelmina was obviously just being polite for the cameras and had no real interest in Gia. If your first photos were completely wrong, why would you go back to the same photographer? Just watching that exchange was so awful, as Teresa was only hearing the small bits of praise clearly only offered because the child in question was in the room. Talk about living vicariously.

alyn

Dina and her current husband appeared on WEtv's Platinum Weddings. She said he's very busy working as the head chef at the Brownstone. Dina looks better without makeup.

alyn

Oooppss. Got the reality show wrong, Dina didn't appear on WEtv's Platinum Weddings, it was VH1's My Big Fat Fabulous Wedding. See: http://www.vh1.com/shows/dyn/my_big_fat_fabulous_wedding/122360/episode.jhtml

Samantha L.

Re: my Big Fat Fabulous Wedding w/ Dina - is that they one where the groom cussed out EVERYONE, all the TIME? I remember that one! Holy crap.

I can't help but love all of it; it's just pure brain-suckitude fun.

Brandi

No that was MTV's True Life:I'm Getting Married.

Brandi

Dina's wedding was featured on Platinum Weddings too! I didn't know she was on the VH1 show, but I recognized her from Platinum Weddings. It's listed on the WE site

Samantha L.

Thanks, Brandi! Is it weird that I'm relieved?

kristine

Oh I'm right there with you soaking up every bit... I laughed and said 'condensensing' for a day or two after I saw that episode!




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