pop culture gossip community about contact archives subscribe advertise fine print bmc

« David Letterman Is Maybe No Longer On My Top Ten List | Pop Culture Main | New York Nurses Protest 'Nurse Jackie' for Misrepresenting Nurses; Nurse Sharks Unavailable for Comment »


Stephenie Meyer Can't Handle the Social Media

StephanieMeyer "Twilight" author Stephenie Meyer has decided to take a break from social media. I guess she couldn't handle the MySpace.

Word on the street (and by the street, I mean the internet. Neither Stephenie Meyer nor I spend much time on actual streets with real people) is that once upon a time Ms. Meyer made great use of MySpace and spent a lot of time responding to fans.

Of course, at some point the whole Twilight went supernova. It exploded into four novels and movies and a religion.

Listen, Steph, it isn't that I don't understand social media burnout. I have learned to not even open up Facebook or Tweetdeck if I am trying to work on a deadline. Here is the thing:

  You have got to seize the day!

Teenagers have created a religion around your work. Now is the time to make social media work for you. You know who has more disposable income than teen-aged girls? Nobody. Well, maybe Paris Hilton, Ron Popeil or Miley Cyrus but other than those guys nobody.

Here is what I would do. I would start a Facebook group, set up a paypal account and set up one of those mass DMs that all the asshole marketers are trying to do these days.

First, I would call Robert Pattinson and convince him to legally change his name to Edward Cullen (one of the tenets of Cullenism is that you have to believe the Cullens are real). Next, I would get a tax exempt number for my new church. Then (and here is the most important part) I would message everyone who has ever tweeted, facebooked, myspaced, flickred, plurked or plinkied anything about Twilight, Pattinson, Kristen Stewart, New Moon, Team Jacob, vampires or werewolves and my message would read "Renesmee might be in danger, please paypal $500 or whatever you can afford to help."

Next I would post the same thing on my blog and I would Digg it, Kirtsy it, reddit, stumble it, ... you get the picture.

Then I would count my money until I could afford to move to a fully staffed dessert island with Robert Pattinson Edward Cullen.

Robert_Pattinson_water_hair

I am a genius. Maybe I really should start a religion. Forget you ever read this.

Of course, Stephenie Meyer probably already has more money than Oprah. Maybe she deserves a break.

Still, I think my plan is a strong one.

[source]







« David Letterman Is Maybe No Longer On My Top Ten List | Pop Culture Main | New York Nurses Protest 'Nurse Jackie' for Misrepresenting Nurses; Nurse Sharks Unavailable for Comment »


TrackBack

TrackBack URL for this entry:
https://www.typepad.com/services/trackback/6a00d8341c5d9653ef011570f5bc98970b

Listed below are links to weblogs that reference Stephenie Meyer Can't Handle the Social Media:



Comments

Ang

You totally spelled her name wrong. It's Stephenie.

Sarah, Goon Squad Sarah

Thanks!

Fixing it now.

Sarah

ms martyr

A dessert island? I'm there!

Alison

I'm going to respectfully disagree. I think she should use her super powers for good instead of evil. She already has our attention, now she needs to take advantage of it. Endorse skin and hair care products to get back the appearance we had before our lives were consumed. Diets that don't involve ingesting blood. Classes to teach social skills, such as initiating conversations that do not begin or end with "OME." Or just plain old getting off one's butt and getting some sunlight and fresh air. Not that I know anything about that, you understand.

Sarah, Goon Squad Sarah

You are a better person than I am.

(Wait - people still go out in the sunlight?)

Alison

Only in hopes of catching someone sparkling.

kaelak

Bwahahaha....I could use some therapy to stop comparing all guys to Edward. And coveting volvos.

Scott

Obligatory XKCD reference: http://xkcd.com/591/

bluepaintred

OMG RENEESMEE IS IN DANGER????!!!

brb. selling the kids. and husband. And Do I really need this fish?

iambellaluna

Bahaha. This post is ah-maaazing.

AmandaG

Fun stuff




The comments to this entry are closed.

Read the Comments Policy »



« David Letterman Is Maybe No Longer On My Top Ten List | Main | New York Nurses Protest 'Nurse Jackie' for Misrepresenting Nurses; Nurse Sharks Unavailable for Comment »












Blog Widget by LinkWithin