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The Real Housewives of New Jersey (Episode 6): Finale

Picture 11So here we are at the end of a whirlwind six weeks of cat fights and straight up crazy ass bitches. On the one hand, this is the shortest Real Housewives series ever in life on the other hand, I'm pretty sure that the producers were starting to fear for someone's life and so better stop before 'investigating' turns into a mysterious disappearance. It is New Jersey after all. The drama of this season and the deep hatred of one of the cast members is something no other RH series has had. I mean Kelly Bensimon is certifiable and in her own little world but no one attempted to kick her ass in a restaurant, ya know? 

We missed out on the most boring episode ever last week due to technical difficulties but to sum things up: Teresa got her 'bubies' and they all still hate Danielle. In other news; it's Wednesday and the grass is green.

I feel like everything else in this episode was superfluous. The last five weeks have led to this one moment in time. Not just a little confrontation but World War III where it's family versus friend. No one cares about Teresa moving into Chateau d'Ugly or that Danielle's only friends are her children or that Lexi - Dina's daughter - keeps a stash of Halloween candy in her dresser drawer and my God, to have the metabolism of a 12 year old would be amazing. What really matters here is that first there was "The Book" and now there is "The Dinner" or "The Dinner: The Reckoning".

Everything starts off nice and pleasant. Teresa decides to throw a dinner party for the ladies and includes Danielle in her plans. Danielle attends and we're all chatting away about Teresa's new c-cups.
See? Happy!

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The ladies are loving life. Caroline is a little drunk. Awww wonderful.

Then BAM!

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Um, AWKWARD. As a hot tempered person myself who wants to call people out for calling my ass out and who can be a little feisty when shot at, I can understand Danielle's reason to bring "The Book" to dinner but...just...no, sweetie. No. But Caroline plays good Samaritan and allows for Danielle to explain what was in the book and what is a lie and what isn't. She keeps telling Dina to shut her mouth as she continues to interrupt Danielle and I'm thinking that things will be ok. No one will get shot tonight. That is until Caroline feels that Dina is being unfairly criticized and so Dina and Caroline go in on it together.

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While Caroline and Dina go in on the attack. Saccharine sweet Jacqueline just sits there quietly. But in her head I hope that she's thinking oscillating between her family and her friends. The truth and the consequence. While she might look like she's just chillin' I'm hoping she's at least thinking of how the hell to escape unharmed.

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Then hot damn! Jacqueline finds herself with a set of balls. Praise Jesus! It's a New Jersey miracle. Apparently Caroline was the one showing The Book around town, not Dina and Jacqueline is sick of them yelling at her friend - a term a use loosely - while lying. Basically she announces that her family is a bunch of lying liars and as you can imagine; Dina took that really well.

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Teresa is quiet the entire. freaking. time. Then suddenly she utters a little something and Danielle tells her to pay attention. Which again, I understand, because Teresa often seems like she's not all there. But apparently Teresa doesn't like being treated like an idiot and she let's her feelings known.

She shoots! While screaming "PROSTITUTION WHORE" as a rallying cry

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Teresa! I never knew you had it in you. You look so tiny and barbie-esque. Proof that what is on the outside doesn't show what is on the inside.

After all of that Teresa letting her Italian Flag Fly, Chris - Jacqueline's husband, Dina and Caroline's brother - calmly says that they are acting like wild animals (see above) and they should all be blessed and feel fortunate and a whole bunch of other bull shit because after watching a table go sailing across a room there isn't much more to say other than Later, Tater. You know?

The season ended on a low note for these ladies. A really low note. There is a 'Last Supper' special this Thursday and then it's over. And my God, it couldn't have come at a better time. This, kids, is what happens when you let a bunch of rich, crazy women run around with $100 bills in their pockets. Some housewives drive the minivan to soccer and slice oranges for snack. Others throw down in public. Lesson learned here: Do not fuck with a woman from Jersey.

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First: bitches be crazy. Period. And klassy.

Second: I kind of love Jacqueline's husband. For reals, what do any of those ladies have to really, truly complain about? Who knew there would be a voice of reason.

Third: I more than kind of love Jacqueline. Despite her questionable parenting techniques and airheaded demeanor, she went off. It took a brass set to call out her S-I-Ls, and I'm pretty sure I believe her over the other two. It's refreshing to see people on reality television cut through bullshit.

Fourth: Danielle is fucked up. Someone on another site nailed it by describing her actions as "blue-steeling" because she takes herself way, way, way too seriously. Her poor daughters get it, too, which is even sadder, but gives me hope that they'll turn out okay. H


2 comments on the episode:

1. How funny that multiple times a clip is shown prior to the dinner of Teresa talking (in a very pompous way)about how she invited Danielle because she has manners only to later see Teresa lose her shit & almost attack Danielle. I don't think Caroline was the only one drunk. I wish they'd shown the clip again just before, during & immediately after Teresa's tirade.
2. It was just really sad at the end to see all the women yelling, accusing, cussing, etc and to see the camera pan over to Danielle's girls (the youngest was standing right next to Dina at some point while Dina was ranting at Danielle). Even if Danielle didn't have the sense to send her kids out of the room, shouldn't the other adults have reserved their remarks for the kids' sakes? I can't imagine screaming, accusing & calling anyone names right in front of their kids.

Sue @ Laundry for Six

It was the klassy one who was talking about climbing on top of her husband right after getting the new bubies, right? This episode really had me missing the Alex and Ramona wars. Just a few miles down 95, things are really different.

Reformed NJ Italian

Coming from a reformed NJ Italian...NO ONE ever tells the kids to leave when the family loses their "shit" and go off on each other. It isn't a surprise because it happens at every major holiday and on occassional Sunday dinners. Italians are hot headed, very emotional people...who yell...loudly...a lot.
It isn't something these kids haven't seen before and they'll see it again. Take it from me...I grew up ok. I married a mutt and we moved to NC...I had to learn fast that no one was going to let me be an NJ prima donna. LOL! Family get togethers are funny though.


First things first...the picture you have of Teresa flipping out is scary. Very, very scary.
Moving on...
Am I the only one in thinking Teresa's blow out was completely unnecessary and childish? I mean, the whole scenario was just...odd, but in true RH's fashion, but seriously. What was the point of her flipping out like that just for being told to pay attention?
I know that there are many people who don't like Danielle, I don't, and I thought it was stupid for her to bring the book, but I think stuff would have come up regardless, I still felt bad that she had no one there backing her up until Jacqueline stepped in and yes, thank god for her husband, even though Caroline disappointed me horribly by being so over-dramatic at the end about their mother. I was pretty disgusted by everyone's behavior.


Oh LORD they behaved poorly!! I was so horrified, I watched it two more times. Fried some brain cells.
I'm proud of Jacqueline for standing up and telling the truth despite 'The Family' ganging up on her. Good girl!
Danielle, while I think this argument needed to happen at some point, shouldn't have chosen this finale dinner to pick a fight. I think she's 100% attention whore and couldn't think of a better way to get the spotlight on herself. But really? At dinner, with kids and husbands etc.? Who does that?
Teresa, what an over-reaction THAT was! And it wasn't immediate, she sort of sat there and simmered and then blew. Just weird!
Loved Jacqueline's hubby Chris' attempt at calming the sitch.
Not that I had a ton of it for any of them, but I lost ALL respect for Dina and Caroline. It just seemed really 'Mean Girls'. Danielle isn't exactly a Saint, but Dina and Caroline spent an AWFUL lot of time scheming and sniggering about her.


The episode was entertaining, although I felt like I had already seen most of it in commercials.
This is the first time, though, that I thought TRH felt really scripted. It just seemed very set up, like Bravo encouraged Danielle to set the book on the table like that. Even for Teresa to invite her to the dinner was a little odd, unless you are hoping for a grande finale.

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