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Awesome Trailer Redeems Emmerich's Sure-to-be-Nasty 2012

2012 Movie Poster When I was a child, I thought and behaved as a child. But now that I am an adult, I fucking love big stupid cataclysmic summer movies where everything blows up and really good actors pick up really big paycheques for really little effort.

Even with my juvenile love of Kick 'n' 'Splode films, I still dread Roland Emmerich's upcoming crap-fest 2012, which probably starts with some Mayans and ends with New York and Washington getting hammered flat.

But Garrison Dean of io9.com has bent his evil will to making the best, most bongotastic trailer known to all humanicity.

Seriously, this movie stars John Cusack and Thandie Newton. Why bother?  Why not just have mops with buckets and googly eyes? How about papier-maché models set on wheels and painted to look like those Russian dolls?  We're not there to watch Thandie Newton run away from a pretend meteor.  Well, actually, I am there to watch Thandie Newton, but that's another topic related to my academic paper entitled Psychodynamics of Gender Roles in Modern Hollywood as Related to Thandie Newton's Sexiness. zOMG.

2012 comes out November 13.  I will be there, ready to give up ten of my dollars and 120 of my minutes to watch this pile of stinky trash upend itself all over my good taste.

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I think it's cute how you guys write "paycheques". I don't just tolerate cultural diversity. I think it's cute.

Also, where's your picture? Sweetney's gonna dock your paycheque.


Garrison Dean officially has turned this into a movie I not only need to see in theaters, but I will need to own it as well, and possibly a "This is a Disaster" T-Shirt to wear to the theater.

When io9 does something right they don't fuck around. When they fail, they might as well be the big old Fail Whale.


I second that tee shirt idea. It must be done.

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