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Jennifer Lopez: Smackdown at The Balloon Saloon

Jennifer_lopez_Marc_Anthony_Twins Allow me to use this platform to make one thing perfectly clear: I cannot stand Jennifer Lopez.

In fact, I pretty much live to hate Jennifer Lopez. There, I said it.

There’s only one thing that’s come of her career that I’ve moderately enjoyed – The Cell, and my enjoyment of that movie was mostly due to Vince Vaughn and Vincent D’Onofrio. Jennifer was a mere accessory, a casting choice that I had to put up with. I’ve never liked her music – that I’m Real crap with DMX? Please. The whole Ben Affleck smackin’ her ass on a yacht/Jenny from the Block/Don’t be fooled by the rocks that I got phase? Total bullshit, as far as I’m concerned. Come to think of it, there’s not much that J-Lo has ever done that I’ve agreed with, really.

Except for one thing.

While filming in New York recently, a local novelty store, The Balloon Saloon, sent an elaborate balloon bouquet to Max and Emme, Jennifer’s young twins with a note that thanked her for making the area “a bit more interesting.” The bouquet, however, was promptly turned away by security – seems J.Lo doesn’t want her twins playing with balloons, and as much as I hate to say this, I totally agree with her.

Why? Because balloons aren’t toys, they’re decorations. And, because balloons can be dangerous. Yeah, I sound like a joykill, but frankly, I don’t care. I don’t know about yours, but my kid likes to try and pop balloons with her teeth – one pop and a sharp inhale later, my kid could be choking to death on a clump of withered balloon. It’s not a risk I’m willing to take.

She’s still one of my most loathed celebrities on the face of the planet, and I still live to hate her, but as far as nixing the balloons goes, I stand firmly on her side.

Now I need to go take a shower to wash away the strange feeling that agreeing with JLo has given me.


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I actually think it is kind of assholish. Couldn't they have accepted it and then gotten rid of it?


Agreed. Babies shouldn't play with balloons, but sending it back was kind of nasty. Seems like someone on the set could have enjoyed them. At the very least, the crew could have had a wicked time inhaling helium.


Do you also think that if you lay down and eat popcorn you'll choke and die?

My mom was crazy nuts about balloons (and popcorn) when I was little. And by little I mean even when I was 13. "Did that balloon just pop? Did it? Where are all the pieces? You don't have any in your mouth, do you?" Um, no mom. I don't. Especially because I'm allergic to latex, I pretty much avoid balloons at all costs.


Must agree as well.

Another option could have been to just tie them up somewhere out of reach. No need to treat them as toys if they're not toys. Treat them as a decoration, because that's what they are anyway.


I hate to be a killjoy (slash editor), but "I'm Real" is with Ja Rule (yes, I know, I know), and I have a secret unhealthy addiction to that song. But I'm with you on everything else J-Lo. Well, except for "Out of Sight." Pretty good movie.


Out of Sight rocks, one of my favorite movies and there are two whole hours where you forget that she's so obnoxious. And, hey, she can kinda act!

Also, I agree that it was a jerky thing to send them back. I doubt seriously that in a whole set full of people there was no one who wouldn't have loved to take those balloons home, but instead, she forgets that other people exist on Earth and "makes a statement." About balloons. I'm sure they were just thinking that the set could use something cheery for the twins, not that she would let them chew on them. But whatever, Jenny on the block, hating on the local small business.

Mrs. Wilson

I like her movies, but I don't like her music. At all. I first saw her in the movie Selena (sp?).

I think it was kind of rude to turn away the balloons as well - maybe just accept them and then do away with them? That's what I would have done.

Fawn Amber

I dunno...I am freakishly overprotective when it comes to balloons also - ever since my child care classes prior to having my first born (15 years ago. God.)where they told us that balloons are one of the biggest choking hazards to kids. To this day I don't allow the kids to have any balloons in the house. If they're given one at a party or restaurant, we let them go immediately once we are outside. I know, probably unhealthy for birds and such...


There is no reason this had to be made into a "thing" other than JLo wanted it to be made into a "thing." She could have handled it with grace and class by just sending a thank you note to the business. She then could have given the balloons to any number of people on the set who have older children at home that would not have stuck the balloons in their mouths, and would never have gotten a massive balloon bouquet for free.

This was simply a case of JLo wanting to make a statement about how much better of a mom she is than any of us other peons who let our kids play with balloons.


Balloons are awful, actually. If they get released on purpose or accidentally they often end up stuck in the gullets or wrapped around the necks of wildlife. I try to gently encourage people to eschew balloons in general. Doesn't change the fact that Lopez == snotball.

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