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The Top Five Things I Didn't Care About This Week

Bored_lolcat As is usual for this little entertainment blogger, I have been trolling through my usual list of entertainment and pop culture websites, reading the buzz about celebrities, and eking enjoyment and laughter out of both their failure and fortune.

As is also usual for me, a few things gave me pause, pauses in which I thought Really? Did you just report about a nipple? Because I'm pretty sure that all of us have at least one, if not two or more. (Come on, there are lots of you who have more than two nipples. I've personally met four people who have shown me theirs. It's true.)


The Top Five Stories on My "WTF, You Reported That?!" List

1. People could see Britney Spears' nipples standing at attention in Paris.

Britney_Spears_nipple  

Oh! The obscenity of nipples! They are literally more common than elbows, people. Grow up.

2. There have been questions about whether Jennifer Hudson is pregnant or not.

Jennifer_Hudson_pregnant 

I am of the mind that all conjecture about her and her life should be left alone unless there is real news to report, because hasn't this woman been through absolute hell with all the semi-recent murders in her family? Call me when the placenta's out.

3. Anything about Kim Kardashian and her sisters confuses me.

Kim_Kardashian_boobs  

Apparently, Ms. Kardashian thought that Michael Jackson's daughter, Paris, was brave for speaking at his memorial. I have to agree that Paris was brave to get up in front of all those people, but why do we care that Kim thinks so?  Oh, right, I'm overlooking the North American obsession with MONSTROUS BOOBS. Also, sex tape scandals will get you everywhere. Moving on.

4. Kendra Wilkinson, of Playboy Bunny fame, defended a woman's right to wear whatever she wants on her personal blog.

Kendra_Wilkinson_sweats

I won't go into any feminist screed here. You can draw your own conclusions.

5. The city of Los Angeles would like to know if its citizenry wants to donate to the cause of Michael Jackson's memorial AFTER THE FACT.

Los_Angeles 

Um, hi. We threw this completely ridiculous party for an alleged pedophile who hadn't made really memorable music in years and was in debt himself. Can we haz some money? Um, that would be NO.

In short, Britney Spears has nipples, Jennifer Hudson might have the ability to procreate, Kim Kardashian has boobs, Kendra Wilkinson is a spokesperson for women's rights, and Los Angeles wants to have its cake and eat it, too.

It's going to take a while before I can pick my shock-flattened self off the floor, I tells ya.







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Comments

Megan@Blueberry Scones

Considering we've seen just about everything else of Ms. Spears, a pic of her being 'nipped out' is tame.

schmutzie

Exactly. It's not even out of the shirt! I think Michael Jackson's been eating up all the other decent news.

Fairly Odd Mother

Thank you for saying this: "We threw this completely ridiculous party for an alleged pedophile who hadn't made really memorable music in years and was in debt himself".

I was starting to think that the entire world had been drinking the crazy kool-aid after yesterday.

And, agreed about the nipple sighting---gimmee-a-break.

Sharyn

I'm more concerned that BS is wearing a Star of David. As a Jew, I resent non-Jewish celebrities adopting my religion's symbols as a fashion statement.

Maybe I'm just grumpy today.

Nat

Due to me turning into a cranky old hag, I find myself having the, "Meh - so what?" response to most celebrity reporting these days. Even if JHud does have a baby...why should I care?

AmyC65

Sharyn, you're right be offended. But does it cushion the blow at all that she probably just bought it because it is sparkly and pretty? And sparkly?

schmutzie

I noticed the Star of David, too, and wondered why she would wear it. I don't know her ancestral lineage, but it strikes me as odd.

iamozma

Kim Kardashian. Everyone is all about her boobs. What about her hair? She has such nice hair. Also, her eyes. They are pretty. Why doesn't anyone ever mention her eyes?

I thought nipples were exactly as common as elbows, as most people have two of each. I would suspect that more people have lost their elbows than have lost their nipples. So you are probably right. Nipples outnumber elbows to some degree.

schmutzie

You read my mind about my nipples-to-elbows ration reasoning.

michele

kind of a random question--but for the first four people/topics--3 of them have fake boobs? jhud's are real yes?

at this point am i supposed to presume that all women in entertainment have fake boobs? i just need to know for future media consumption.

Sharyn

She's not Jewish. She just does it because Madonna does it, which also frosts me.

schmutzie

There do seem to be a lot of fake boobs around. I tried not to make this post about boobs, but they kind of crept in there anyway.

I cannot vouch for the realness or fakeness of any of the boobs mentioned herein. Britney's I have no clue about, I think Jennifer Hudson's are real, and I heard Kim claim that hers were real in an interview, but that just strikes me as ridiculous.

Just Shireen

I think that I read somewhere that Britney was supposed to be in a movie that's partially set during the Holocaust. So maybe she's "getting into character"?

Not that it makes it right, but it does make it less out of the blue, I guess?

schmutzie

And as for Kendra Wilkinson, does Hugh even allow more natural boobs anymore?

Just Shireen

My rack is way sweeter than any of the Kardashian's and I too think that Paris was brave for speaking up at her father's funeral. So, when will the news team be arriving to record my soundbite?

Palinode

Whatever happened to people being all about Kim Kardashian's butt? The boobs are clearly the work of artful undergarments. Wasn't it her butt that made her famous?

jodifur

Don't get me started on the MJ thing. I called it a spectacle on twitter and people went after me.

It was a spectacle. And crazy.

Snarky Amber

Plus you have to take into account third nipples, which are far more common, I'd imagine, that third elbows.

DianaCLT

Couldn't agree more. $4 MILLION was spent yesterday for the police enforcement. Ummm..hi? California - aren't we just a wee bit..oh, I dunno...BROKE?!? How many state parks could we keep open with $4 mil? How many teaching jobs could we have saved? WHERE, exactly, did that $4 million come from, considering...you know...our governator is forever telling us we're BROKE?!!? The family showed up in $4 MILLION worth of cars yesterday. They wanted this little shindig. Uh...don't most families foot the bill for the loved one's memorial?

DianaCLT

I understand what you're saying. As a Christian, I've been annoyed for years at all the people - especially the like of Ozzy and other "badasses" wearing crosses for fashion! Sorry you're feeling this way.

DianaCLT

A friend of mine is in the entertainment industry. He said the number of models and celebs that have their 3rd nipples airbrushed out of pics and movies is astonishing. Huh - maybe that 3rd nipple makes people celeb-worthy? How many nipples between the couple known as Speidi? ;)

DianaCLT

Jodifur - oh yes. I hear you! I have had all sorts of people on me about my FB statuses (stati?) regarding the MJ media circus! I had a friend's MOM tell me to read Bible passages. I've had that same friend directing her statuses at me in an underhanded way ("Opinions are like assholes...."), and so forth. I might very well lose some friends over my opinions, but so be it. FRIENDS let friends be themselves, have their own opinions, and accept and respect them! :)

Rhonda

One of my kids has a 3rd nipple. I told said child and he had a spaz attack, so I lied and told him it must be a scar.

When he turns 18, I'm going to give him a card that says. Happy Birthday baby! Surprise! You have a third nipple!

It's gonna be fun.

DianaCLT

MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!

Lots of people around 18 get tats and piercings. I suspect he'll be contemplating cutting off his nipple. Or...maybe he can start a new trend and have all 3 pierced? ;)

Aubrey Anne

I read MamaPop every single day, but this post made me happiest of all. FINALLY someone said it about Michael Jackson! And nipples. And Kim's boobs.

*sigh*

I go to bed fulfilled tonight. lol

Jenn_C

I don't know how many nipples there are, but I can give you a pretty good estimate on the asshole level. :-)

lynn

I needed some hilarity today. Thank you.

schmutzie

Any time!

Alyce

I thought it was a Kabbalah thing (to her/for her).

MamaPop

Schmutzie for president!!!

Nataly

It is not a Kabbalah thing. Wearing Esther's (red) string is a Kabbalah thing but the star of David is the symbol of ISRAEL (zionism) not even the symbol of Judaism!! The Menorah is the official symbol of Judaism.

I absolutely agree with you Sharyn, it just drives me batshit!




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