pop culture gossip community about contact archives subscribe advertise fine print bmc

« Too Many Top Chefs In the Kitchen | Pop Culture Main | Model Gets Caned in Public For Drinking Beer or Thank the Gods I'm Not Malaysian »


Another Scandal To Make Oprah Winfrey Look Like A Dupe

Oprah_winfrey Oh, Oprah. You want so badly to help people in need. Nevertheless, it seems to bite you in the ass so often. Faced with endless human suffering at home and abroad, you give and you give, yet in return you get opportunistic swindlers and jerkwads of the highest order. You provide a couple authors some amazing publicity with your wildly popular book club, only to later find you've endorsed a fake rehab memoir and a "non-fiction" Holocaust survival/love story that turned out also to be fabricated. And let's not even get into the sex scandals—plural—at your school in South Africa.

And now, four of the evacuees who received aid from your Angel Network after the horrific Hurricane Katrina tragedy have been brought up on charges for trying to obtain housing aid from FEMA, even though you already built them houses, meaning they shouldn't need housing aid. The fuck? 


Okay, so story time: Once, a friend of mine gave all his tips to a homeless guy who told him a sob story about his starving daughter and medical bills and yadda yadda. He'd made $75 in one busy Saturday morning, and was feeling so good from having such a profitable tip day that it made him feel even better to give it all away to a man who needed it far more than he. However, two weeks later, that same dude asked my pal for money, feeding him a completely different sob story. Guess how much money my friend gives to homeless people now? If you guessed, "bupkis," you're in the right ballpark.

It's a shame that being played elicits that reaction from so many of us who've been similarly bilked, but it's understandable, all the same. Oprah, on the other hand, continues to give and give, only to find her name in headlines with another grifter. Is Oprah a dupe or what? I know she has money to burn, but if I were her, I'd be so over charity.

In fact, if f I were Oprah, I'd be so completely done with philanthropy, I would devote an entire program to giving everyone the finger. I would get up on my couch like crazypants Tom Cruise only it'd be to give America the ol' one-finger salute with each fist. 

Oprah_tom_cruise

I'd then announce, "FUCK AAAAAALL Y'ALL! I have more money than God! I own half of Chicago! And I tried sharing the wealth with you, America, but you know what? You're not sucking at Oprah's teat anymore! I'm taking my riches, and I'm going the fuck home! I'm going to go Scrooge McDuck on your asses! I'm gonna convert all my money to gold coins and fill an Olympic-sized pool with them and swim around all day yelling, 'I'm rich, beeyotch!' while you starve! HOW DO YOU LIKE ME NOW, BITCHES?"

Then I'd tell everyone in the audience, "Look under your seats!" but they'd only find a flaming bag of poo there. And then I'd pull off my wireless mic, throw it on the ground and scream, "OPRAH OUT!"

I'm not Oprah, however. And I may have an anger management problem.

While I don't really care for her show or her magazine or what she's done for the state of the national bestseller's list, I do think despite her media ubiquity she's a kind-hearted and charitable woman. And I also think anyone who donates their money, their time, or their name and reputation to help the less fortunate should reasonably expect, in return, that the recipients not make said charitable person look like an asshole.

Unfortunately, Oprah's not the only one being played the fool when the con-artists in question are bilking government funding. It's also taxpayers like you and me who fund programs like FEMA. 

Righteous indignation aside—and I do love me some righteous indignation—it's important to remember that Oprah gives away millions a year, and for the most part, that money probably goes to honest charities and decent, hard-working people. It's just too bad that the exceptions to the rule are often the ones who leave the most lasting impression. 

source







« Too Many Top Chefs In the Kitchen | Pop Culture Main | Model Gets Caned in Public For Drinking Beer or Thank the Gods I'm Not Malaysian »


TrackBack

TrackBack URL for this entry:
https://www.typepad.com/services/trackback/6a00d8341c5d9653ef0120a55e9cd4970c

Listed below are links to weblogs that reference Another Scandal To Make Oprah Winfrey Look Like A Dupe:



Comments

Darcey

Yeah, it seems inevitable that, when you have someone who gives so much money to so many charities, there are going to be some bad apples in the bunch. Law of averages and whatnot.

Lindsey

Oprah, out!

Funny shit.

Alyssa

Flaming bags of poo under the seats of all the women dressed in their best pastels in the audience of the Oprah show... God, that made me laugh.

Alyssa

*that VISUAL made me laugh. I inadvertently made that sound like a direct quote. I was just picturing it in my head...

AmyH

Brilliant post!

atheists eat fish

I think she should just feel good about what she tried to do and not worry too much about the assholes that misuse her funds. How would it have looked if she hadn't tried to help the victims of hurricane Katrina? She would have looked like George Bush. And really, she is WAAYY prettier than him. Oprah is better than any church. At least she practices what she preaches. Yeah Oprah!

iambellaluna

I loved that part. I really would like to see that pan out IRL!

Snarky Amber...how soon will you be becoming Oprah? I need to mark my calendar, I will be gettin' front-row tickets.

Snarky Amber

It's step four on my five point plan for world domination, but I have yet to figure out steps one through three.

Barbara

Of course she gets burned. She's savvy. She knows some jerks will do that to her, but y'know what? She's a good example of not being jaded by it all.

But your version would totally be better entertainment.

Sweetney

THIS:

"I'd then announce, "FUCK AAAAAALL Y'ALL! I have more money than God! I own half of Chicago! And I tried sharing the wealth with you, America, but you know what? You're not sucking at Oprah's teat anymore! I'm taking my riches, and I'm going the fuck home! I'm going to go Scrooge McDuck on your asses! I'm gonna convert all my money to gold coins and fill an Olympic-sized pool with them and swim around all day yelling, 'I'm rich, beeyotch!' while you starve! HOW DO YOU LIKE ME NOW, BITCHES?"

Then I'd tell everyone in the audience, "Look under your seats!" but they'd only find a flaming bag of poo there. And then I'd pull off my wireless mic, throw it on the ground and scream, "OPRAH OUT!""

IS PERFECTION. O THE CRYING. O THE LAUGHING. O THE LAUGH-CRYING.

MrsChaos

For reals with the laughing and the crying. That was truly awesome and it would actually make me like Oprah and her do-gooderness if she actually did that.

Also, I first read the title of this post as "Another Scandal to Make Oprah Winfrey Look Like a DUDE." I started to wonder if she spit and adjusted her jock strap in public.




The comments to this entry are closed.

Read the Comments Policy »



« Too Many Top Chefs In the Kitchen | Main | Model Gets Caned in Public For Drinking Beer or Thank the Gods I'm Not Malaysian »












Blog Widget by LinkWithin