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District 9 Is Not Where They Keep The Sexy Aliens

District_nine I just got back from the premier of District 9, (but it was only the premier in that it was the first time I watched it, not the actual tuxedo one that I NEVER seem to get invited to) and I really have no idea what I just watched. Or whether or not I liked it. I think I did. Yeah, I'm pretty sure I did. I might have to get back to you on that one. Also I'm not sure how to categorize it. Is Surgery Channel-Sci-Fi-Fake Documentary-Horror a category? Because if it is, this movie is getting the fucking Oscar. Because it was definitely the best one of those I've ever seen.

Normally, I would be very careful about not being a spoiler and I would have big warnings that spoilers were about to happen, but in this case I'm fairly sure that is impossible, because while the story was easy enough to follow I spent a lot of time looking around at my fellow movie goers to see if I was the only one who thought it was like watching barely-related short films in another language I'm only marginally fluent in, in reverse with subtitles that had typos. And in each of these films they used the same characters and were telling a different part of the same story, and had the same director, and the same themes. But some of them were maybe missing some scenes, and also the editor was hitting the pipe hard. I don't take drugs so I'm not sure what kind of pipe that would be. A lead pipe? Maybe they were being bludgeoned. That would kinda make sense.

I don't mean to diss the film (Do people still say "diss"? Probably not.) because like I said there's like an 80% chance that I liked it, and only a 15% chance that I didn't and another 15% chance it was distracting to have people keep blowing up and another 20% chance that I ran out of Skittles too early and didn't have my sugar-fueled wits about me. It's a good movie. I think. No really. Maybe trust me on this. Or maybe don't. This is pretty much the pinnacle of my movie reviewing career, I think .

One of the good things about the movie is the people who explode, all do so very believably and with great frequency and there are an awful lot of them, so obviously the producers have found a technology that works and went running with it. Because it seems like whenever the main character ran into a seemingly impossible situation from which there was nary a chance of escape, someone preventing him from moving forward would explode. And usually it was a bunch of somebodies, and more times than not they exploded all over the camera lens, obscuring the scene with smeary viscera, which is pretty much a labor of love by the filmmakers. They obviously take their people-exploding seriously.

Also there were numerous instances where people were in danger of having parts of their bodies sawed / cut / chopped off and it got to the point where I was all "Oh look. Another unplanned amputation attempt." and then I would yawn casually and look smugly at my fellow movie-goers but then I remembered it was just me in the theater and a couple who had snuck in so they could french the whole time, and they didn't seem nearly as interested in sharing a communal act of contrived boredom. They wouldn't even give me a high five. They were pretty stuck up, if you ask me. But all those near-amputations definitely kept me on the edge of my seat. Especially when one of them wasn't so much a "near-amputation" as an "actual amputation". Oh yeah. SPOILER. Back there. Sorry.

I told my girlfriend the whole reason I was going to see District 9 was because I had a sneaking suspicion that what they were showing in the previews had nothing to do with the actual story, and on this point I should get the Nostradamus Prize for Best Predicting because the movie was almost impossibly not anything at all like what the trailers portrayed. In fact, there are several key segments of the trailers that don't even appear in the movie. So guess what? No seriously...guess. I have no idea I just watched.

But I definitely liked it. Probably.

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that's funny, i feel the same way. i think i liked it but when people ask me what i thought i usually say "um... it's hard to explain". mostly i found it unsettling, but that was the point right? it's really just a morality play dressed up as sci-fi; not that i'm opposed to that or anything, the sci-fi was cool and all but it goes deeper than that.

if nothing else i am able to say that it truly was like nothing else i've ever seen, and how often can you walk out of the theater and say that?


I haven't seen this movie, but the review was entertaining enough that it hardly mattered.

The title of this post alone made me make with the LOLZ.


Heh, sounds like I would probably like this movie and maybe it's because I like eye-brow-raising-sci-fi stuff like this, sort of.


I saw it yesterday and I'm with the "I can't say I liked it group." Actually, if I would've seen it except for, say, the last 20 minutes, I could say I didn't like it at all. Everyone was disturbing and (for lack of a better word) MEAN and I teared up a few times. I kept saying, "People are douches" a lot. Yup.


Well, everyone except for the one "main" alien and his son. They were pretty awesome.


yeah, I heard it was thinly veiled parable or whatever for apartheid...so, I watched GI Joe instead. I don't feel any smarter but I had fun watching for the "uncredited roles"


"Nostradamus Prize for Best Predicting" - BWAHAHAHAHAAAA.


I was briefly disappointed when the film turned into an action-chase-thing, but then people started blowing up like they'd been poked by Dr. Manhattan, and I fell in love all over again.


It isn't really. That's the fun of the film: it looks like an apartheid allegory and then people start blowing up. And the main character is like every jerk you never liked who insisted on hanging around with you anyway. Somehow that's a recommendation.


I didn't find it a morality play any more than any other movie that contains good guys and bad guys. The film is fooling you by making you look at alien monsters and think of oppressed Africans. But it's all a smokescreen for a piece of really fun genre entertainment.


It is only a thinly veiled version of apartheid for the first 15-20 minutes when they Won't Stop Showing "Humans Only" Signs And Forcing People To Make Obviously "Alien-ist" Comments In The Pseudo Documentary. (Man, that was a lot of Empasis Capitalization.)
Anyway, I do agree with this review. I think. Maybe.

miss. chief

oh, kurt, what would the world be without your movie reviews?
i'm totally gonna see this movie because of all the random explody people!

Oh Mandy!

I'm suspect of Sci-Fi to begin with.

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