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Edward! Stay Alive, No Matter What Occurs: WE WILL FIND YOU!

EDWAAAARD

Our dear Edward, who was so unceremoniously vampnapped from the Sparklecorn Extravaganza, has managed to get word - and photographic evidence of his survival - to us by virtual carrier-bat! HE'S ALIVE!

And, apparently, still fully clothed. Which: thank god for indelible poster paint, because seriously, naked cardboard Edward, defiled by vampnappers? Would just be sad.

Okay, maybe a little bit hot. But mostly sad.

This e-mail arrived to our Where In The World Is Sparklecorn Edward tip line on Friday:

To my favorite betches,

The vamp-nappers left me alone for a few minutes (something about pop rocks and sparklecorn?). The last thing I remember after dancing to Michael Jackson was this strange room. And flashbulbs going off around me. One of my kidnappers left this picture lying around.

The next thing I know, I was in very cramped, cold quarters. And now I'm here. But I don't know where "here" is. All I can hear is mentions of some "True Blood" show and arguing over the better vampires.

Uh-oh, they're back. Gotta go.

The Sparkly One.

HOLD ON EDWARD!!!! WE WILL FIND YOU!!!!

PS: please to remember to stay out of the sun.







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Comments

AmandaG

At least he's okay. And by ok I mean he is able to type messages and calls himself The Sparkly One.

the new girl

Um. I think that he's technically already dead. So, you know, staying alive and all...not so much.

I hope he's able to stay in touch, though.

cindy w

Yeah, the "Last of the Mohicans" reference in the title made the entire post. Well done, HBM.

Her Bad Mother

Dude. He could SPARKLE TO DEATH.

It happens. Stephenie Meyer says so.

Erin

And THIS is why I love this website.

Ashlie- Mommycosm

So relieved he's still alive - we'll not really alive, but you know. Good to hear from him. Wonder if the fugly wallpaper behind him could be a clue? Should we hire a PI to scan blogs to see if there is a match out there?




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