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MamaPop Pop Culture Confessional: Backpacking Dad Edition

MP confessional Welcome to the MamaPop Pop Culture Confessional, where we receive confession of any and all pop culture pleasures, guilty or otherwise!

Today, we welcome Backpacking Dad, who has much to confess about what he gets up to when he has full control over the remote.

Herewith, Backpacking Dad's not-so-guilty pop culture pleasures, in his own words:

Forgive me, MamaPop, for I have sinned. It is John & Kate Plus Six since my last confession. I am here, before you, in the MamaPop confessional to reveal my most leaden gossamer secrets, the ones that weigh heaviest on my heart but that are so lacking in substance that I really ought to go out and get some better secrets.

First, MamaPop, I need to confess that I love the movie She’s All That with a slow, rhythmic, Barry White, passion.  Pygmalion never settled so heavily on my mind as when it was performed by Freddie Prinze Jr. and Rachel Leigh Cook. Toss in Usher as the Token Black Guy who teaches the senior class to do a line dance at the prom, and Paul Walker as the Token Frat Guy who unwittingly brings our hero, the Prom King, and our heroine, the artiste-who-had-to-grow-up-too-fast, together by encouraging a bet about making the artiste the Prom Queen, and you have, basically, the perfect movie. There’s also a part where Freddie Prinze Jr. makes a dude eat pubes. And I think there’s a Culkin in there.

Secondly, MamaPop, I must confess that when I am awake too early in the morning, or too late at night, I will watch an entire P90x infomercial, commit to doing the program in my mind, and then come this close to ordering it.

I am certain this will get me ripped like Jesus in just three months. Tony Horton is just so affable and encouraging. He’s probably the devil. The only thing that has kept me from actually laying out the money on the credit card is that some of the workouts require a doorway bar and I have no doorway in which to hang such a bar that would still allow me to view the television. If it weren’t for architecture, I’d be poorer, but a total action hero.

WilHow to confess this third one to a Being as culturally savvy as MamaPop? Like removing a bandaid I suppose I must just rip it off: I read Wil Wheaton’s blog religiously. I feel like, you know, he and I are like, the same person, except that I never played a teen prodigy on any of the Star Trek TV shows. And I wasn’t in Stand By Me. But I was really skinny when I was a teenager and I had dark hair and I couldn’t talk to girls and I played D&D and I was always playing video games. So he and I are basically the same person and reading his blog is like  seeing into the life I am leading in a slightly different universe. Although when I met Wil (hi! I namedrop bloggers and tv people!) and he tried to steal my baby I saw that he’s totally shorter than I am and I could probably take him.

I love The Next Food Network Star. I know that were I at all dialed-in I would realize just how atrocious this fourth confession is, because anyone who is anyone rejected that show a long time ago. But I can’t let go.  And no matter how many people pledge their loyalty to Top Chef, or the even more intriguing Top Chef: Masters, I cannot give up the ghost. The Next Food Network Star appeals to me in a way Top Chef doesn’t. It may have to do with the ever-present possibility that Giada de Laurentis will show up and taste things. I, uh, like to watch her eat.

Oh, MamaPop, my wife has nearly divorced me for my final, illicit love, Starship Troopers. It is, I think, the best science fiction  movie ever made. Ever. Because Denise Richards steering a star cruiser around a spaceport…well, that just works for me. Neil Patrick Harris as a psychic? Yes! It’s totally believable and I feel as though I’m immediately transported to world of brain bugs and giant plasma-blasting flak bugs whenever this movie begins. I love this movie so much I sat through a viewing of Starship Troopers 2: Hero of the Federation. I love it so much that despite Starship Troopers 2 I paid cash money for the straight to DVD threequel, Starship Troopers 3: Marauder. I think this, above all else, is the reason I am going to cultural hell, oh MamaPop.

Absolution or Excommunication. My fate is in your hands.

Absolution, dude. Starship Troopers and infomercials and Giada and She's All That? Absolution for sure. But 10 Hail Whedons for failing to reference Buffy or Neil Patrick Harris or Twilight. We has standards, you know.







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Comments

TwoBusy

Not liking Starship Troopers is like not liking sunshine.

Backpacking Dad

I would like it noted for the record that I totally mentioned Neil Patrick Harris.

Her Bad Mother

Yes, you did! MY BAD.

Make that 8 Hail Whedons.

foradifferentkindofgirl (fadkog)

My thoughtful DirecTV channel guide allows me to note each airing of the P90X informercial and I am not lying when I say I sometimes set it to record even though I've watched it (and will continue to do so) ONE MILLION TIMES! I am particularly fond of the state trooper near the end of the ad. If you and I ever require a secret handshake one day, I fully propose the across-the-body X.

Bill Gookin

Wow, I thought I was the only person who liked Starship Troopers!

ZenMom

I wish I had a picture of Wil Wheaton trying to steal my baby. ;)

ali

I cannot talk about my love for She's All That. It's almost as bad as my love for Center Stage.

helenel

I love the line dance in She's All That. When I hear that song on the radio, I chairdance like crazy in my minivan.

Saw Starship Troopers in the theater, then less than 24 hours later had to see it again at the SF marathon in Coolidge Corner. It was too soon.

BaltimoreGal

I can see why you might love She's All That. Because the main male character is completely asexual, giving you a chance at getting to the girl.

BaltimoreGal

Although she is almost asexual, isn't she?

Her Bad Mother

There is NOTHING as bad as an abiding love for Center Stage. Sadly, I share that bad love.

Backpacking Dad

Yeah, she totally is. Or rather it's difficult to sexualize her in any way. She's like the little sister you root for.

Backpacking Dad

I'm doing the secret handshake right now.

Backpacking Dad

I really don't understand those people. There's Space Football, ferchrissakes.

Backpacking Dad

ST Fans of the world, unite! Joine the Mobile Infantry!

Would you like to know more?

Backpacking Dad

He was pretty wily. Almost got away with it.

Backpacking Dad

I don't know what that is.

No! Don't tell me. I have enough against me as it is.

Backpacking Dad

I've been trying to teach my daughter to say "Funk Soul Brother" all day.

Jessi

I'm with you on the Next Food Network Star. There were tears when the winner was announced this year. Just can't get into Top Chef. Also, love ST.

Jen

Dude. I have a similar love for Center Stage. Also, Save the Last Dance. Can. Not. Look. Away when I catch either one on tv.

Kerri Anne

Starship Troopers is HILARIOUS. A giant green-goo-laden bug that thinks and has ambitions to take over the universe? I want one.

St/Vegas710

I think he did the right thing in not mentioning Buffy or Twilight. That just looks like begging. His devotion to Buffy is well-known and documented. ;)

Karen Sugarpants

Wow. You were right. You really aren't cool at all.
(it's okay, me neither.)

RebTurtle

Starship Troopers! It's one of those classic movies that is just corny enough that you don't care that it's completely ridiculous, which allows you to focus on the shallow plot. I love that movie. That one and "The Long Kiss Goodnight" with Geena Davis and Samuel L. Jackson.




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