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True Blood Recap: Timebomb

Trueblood5 Kiss my grits, True Blood is getting crazy.

So, Sookie is still in the Fellowship of the Sun basement attempting to recover from Gabe's attack and reeling from Godric's sudden rescue. Gabe is also a little stunned by this development and says, "Godric, it's me!" Hmm, why does he sound surprised that the vampire that they kidnapped and were fixing to kill would attack his captors? Godric wordlessly snaps Gabe's neck and tells Sookie that they should not have come. Eric swooshes in and drops to his knees before Godric, relieved that he is okay. Godric is in no mood for emotional reunions and calls Eric a fool for sending humans. Eric insists that he had no choice, that he had to find a way to save Godric from the savages of the Fellowship. He asks if Godric has fed but Godric replies that he requires very little blood anymore. An alarm goes off and Godric orders Eric to escape, to save Sookie, and to not spill any blood on his way out.

Jason is laying on the ground, certain that Sarah has capped him. But he's fine and shouts that God has saved him. Sarah growls at him to grow a brain cell because the gun is a paintball gun. Jason calls her a crazy bitch but Sarah wails that she let him into her house, her bed (well, not really, Sarah, it was more like your choir loft), and her heart, she gave him everything for a lie. He's worse than Judas. "What did he do?" asks Jason. Sarah answers by shooting him in his tender mercies and shouts that he came to prey on her, but Jason groans that he was just running from her husband and his crazy weapon collection. Sarah wails that Steve told her everything and Jason asks what exactly he told her. Sarah gets all crazy calm and says that there are wolves in their henhouse and they must defend their flock. Oh, also, they have Jason's sister. Sarah adds that she doesn't really think very highly of the Stackhouses at this juncture, calling them "heartless, two-faced, vampire fuckers." Jason heartily disagrees and responds by knocking Sarah to the ground and taking off in her Jeep, warning that they'll meet again, but it won't be with a paint gun.

At the church, the lock-in is now on lockdown. Steve directs the women and children of the congregation into a safe area and the men to arms, hollering that the hour is upon them. Eric and Sookie are sneaking in the background, trying to figure out how to escape. Sookie isn't sure that Eric can successfully get them out, but he stares at her and says to trust him. Eric approaches a group of Fellowship guys and puts on his best regular dude accent. Through the use of glamoring and effective logic, Eric gets very close to overtaking this small group, but a larger mob approaches, including Steve. Sookie rushes to Eric's side and Steve informs her that the war has begun and the vampires cast the first stone by killing his family. They're going to kick things off by killing a vampire, and hey here's a fine one right here. Eric steps forward and silences Sookie's protests by telling her that he'll be fine. The holy bonfire will begin at dawn.

Last week, after Barry delivered Sookie's message to Bill, we saw him be grabbed by someone but it wasn't clear who. Turns out it was Lorena. Bill senses Sookie's panic and gasps, "Sookeh!" Lorena is irritated by the alarm clock nature of Sookie's connection to Bill and thinks that they should snack on Barry. Bill insists that he's not hungry and orders Lorena to let Barry go. Instead, Lorena takes a bite from Barry's neck. She pulls back, puzzled, and says that Barry tastes different and asks him what he is. Bill sneaks up behind her and hits her over the head with a TV, grabs Barry and dashes out the door. Hoyt and Jessica are having sex when Bill busts in. He pauses a second, embarrassed for interrupting them, and says that if Hoyt truly cares for Jessica, he'll drive her back to Bon Temps right now.

Lafayette and Tara are sitting at Merlotte's and Lafayette is reading Tara's tarot cards. There are lovers, which are not good in Tara's case, and there will be sacrifices in matters of the heart. She is going to have to make a choice. Tara asks to see her future and Lafayette looks terrified when he turns over the Justice card. Eggs walks in, shaken, and Lafayette mumbles that he's going to go clean a grill or something. Eggs sits down with Tara and, nearly in tears, says that it happened again, he lost several hours and doesn't know what's wrong with him.

Jason drives up and convinces the church members that Steve sent for him. They believe him because of his honesty ring. A guy leads Jason into the church and when he notices that Jason is toting a paintball gun, Jason knocks him out.

Sam is sleeping in his car and the camera angle indicates that something is creeping up on him. His phone rings, waking him up, and the caller ID says that it's Merlotte's. When he answers, he hears a breath on the other end, but the caller hangs up. He goes to Merlotte's because it's obviously totally safe there. He tiptoes to the kitchen and peers into the walk-in fridge which is slightly open. Daphne's body is in there and she is minus one heart. This presents many problems, not the least of which is that Merlotte's now needs ANOTHER waitress. Sam grabs some garbage bags and starts wrapping up the body but stops and decides to call the sheriff. Before he's even able to tell them about his problem, the flashing lights outside indicate that someone has already called them.

At the house, Maryann is busy in the kitchen, sauteing up the heart with some veggies and a dry white wine.

Eric is being restrained with silver chains and says that he is glad to offer himself in exchange for Godric's freedom. Bill storms in and is all, "SOOKEH!" Steve snorts that he honestly doesn't understand what all of these vampires see in Sookie. Jason fires the paintbull gun at Steve and chaos erupts. Sookie releases Eric and he is ready to kill but Sookie reminds him that Godric ordered him not to shed any blood. The rest of the Dallas vampires march in, armed with cowboy hats and their natural badassery. Stan sneers at Steve that they're going to do him the same way that they did his father. The vampires attack and it's clear that the congregation doesn't really stand a chance. But Godric appears and orders a stop to the massacre before it really begins. Godric informs his underlings that these people did not harm them and that they should help him to set an example. Godric will order his vampires to leave in peace if Steve will do the same, but Steve insists that he will not negotiate with sub-humans and that even if they try to kill him, Jesus will protect him. Godric calmly explains that he is much older than Jesus but he's always sounded like an interesting guy and he wishes he could have known him. He asks the congregation who of them is will to die for this man's madness. They, of course, remain silent, since what started out as a good way to make Christian friends and have a pot luck here and there has dissolved into getting ready to battle vampires with sticks. Clearly, this whole church thing wasn't exactly what it was cracked up to be. The church members file out despite Steve's pathetic protests. Godric notes that his faith in humanity is stronger than Steve's. Eric and Bill stare each other down for a moment since Eric hints at Bill's tardy rescue of Sookie, but Bill sternly tells him to follow his maker out of there. Jason and Sookie hug and he begs her forgiveness. Steve shouts at Jason that we'll see who goes to heaven now. Jason saunters up to him and says that he's already been to heaven and it was inside Steve's wife. And this is why art is superior to life because that is totally a line that no one would think of on the spot. In the moment, in real life, you know Jason would have said something like, "Yeah...well...YOU'RE STUPID."

Apparently there was an anonymous tip to the sheriff's office about Merlotte's and since Bud and Kendra showed up to find Sam there with Daphne, sans heart, and Sam in the midst of wrapping her in garbage bags, they have a few questions. Plus, Sam doesn't have any records of any kind. Andy shows up because he still has his radio and heard about them going to Merlotte's. He can explain everything and knows that Sam is innocent because he saw him almost get killed by a bull that had claws and was wearing a dress. Sam looks like he's about to throw up and Andy suddenly realizes that any time he opens his mouth, things go from bad to worse.

At the house, Tara is talking to Eggs and they're trying to figure out what happened to him. She tells him that Arlene blacked out the night before, too, and maybe there's some kind of gas leak. Eggs is concerned that he might have done something bad...like stabbed a shapeshifter and cut out her heart or something. Maryann saunters in and tsk tsks that maybe they need to ease up on the partying. Oh, and their snack is ready. She's made a hunter's souffle. Tara cuts the souffle and blood starts oozing out. I would have pointed out that it seems a tad undercooked but Tara and Eggs dig in.

The vampires have gathered at Godric's house to celebrate Godric's return and the peaceful resolution at the church. Godric is kind of aloof during the informal receiving line. Eric pulls Jason aside and sternly warns him that his V use is a grave offense, but since he helped to rescue Godric, they'll call it even. Eric needs to go on Intervention. His tactics are extremely effective. Sookie starts whining at Bill for not coming to rescue her as soon as possible. And I really start wishing for a meteor to fall right on her head because why doesn't she, at this point, realize that fucked up things are constantly happening and maybe Bill was in an even weirder situation than she was. Eric glides over and Sookie says something about how strong his bond is with his maker and Eric says that perhaps one day she'll find out what that's like. Bill's testicles shrivel.

Jessica and Hoyt stumble into Bill's house, kissing and trying to pull each other's clothes off. Jessica is extremely enthusiastic about their new sex life and says that they're going to do it every night, starting now. They fall onto the couch and start to have sex but Jessica, crying in pain, orders him to stop. Hoyt doesn't understand but Jessica tearfully explains that everything heals when you're a vampire, including one's hymen. Sex will hurt Jessica every time. Essentially, she'll be a virgin forever.

Bill snarls at Eric about his contact with Sookie and swears that she will never be his. Isabel barges in, dragging Hugo behind her, announcing that he is the one who betrayed them. Godric asks if Hugo is Isabel's human and if she loves him. Isabel cries and says that she does and that she is sorry, but Godric is her sheriff and he shall do with Hugo as he pleases. Godric says that Hugo is free to go, but that he must never return to this area. Jason pulls Bill aside to talk to him. He asks Bill to forgive him for being prejudiced and the two hug it out.

Sam is dragged to jail where a number of other Bon Temps citizens are locked up for various bizarre offenses that they don't remember doing. One was arrested for sodomizing a pine tree.

Eric tenderly tells Godric that he's brought a human for him to feed on but Godric still isn't hungry. He sighs that vampires haven't evolved; they're still predatory and frightening. He doesn't see the danger in treating humans as equals. Whatever spiritual awakening Godric has experienced, Eric isn't quite there yet.

Tara and Eggs have polished off the entire souffle and are laughing at how much they liked it. Eggs says he feels like a superhero and rips his shirt. Tara almost drunkenly giggles and says that she hates him. He roughly grabs her neck and kisses her. As their eyes turn black, Tara and Eggs hit each other with incredible force, resulting in some zombie hate sex as Maryann looks on and grins.

We see a man quietly approaching Godric's house outside and, inside, Lorena appears in the living room. She confronts Sookie and it quickly becomes clear that things are about to get straight up Springer. Lorena, of course, is totally provoking Sookie by purring over Bill and when she touches him, Sookie snarls at her not to, which really scares the shit out of Bill, for good reason, because Lorena pushes Sookie down and has her teeth out. Godric suddenly appears and grabs Lorena. He orders her to retract her fangs and to respect his authority. He observes that this type of behavior is why humans hate them. Lorena, obviously scared, says that Sookie provoked her. But Godric retorts that Lorena provoked him and disrupted his peace. Also, he could snap her like a twig but he hasn't. He says that he can tell that she's an old vampire, which means that she's had hundreds of years to better herself, but hasn't. She's still savage.

Bill escorts Lorena out and she tearfully says that she still loves him. Nonetheless, Bill doesn't ever want to see her again.

Inside, the guy who was quietly approaching the house was Jason's rival, Luke. He warns Jason to leave. He calmly announces that he comes bearing a message from Steve Newlin. He opens his jacket to reveal that a bomb is strapped to his chest and protected with dozens of silver chains. Wordlessly, he pushes a button.

So! Some of the larger metaphorical themes of this show seem to have been drawn out in this episode. The use of phrases like, "exit strategy," "bring it on," and "we don't negotiate with sub-humans (aka terrorists)," seem to be direct references to the U.S. approach to the most recent war on terror. Godric's apparent peaceful relationship with the Fellowship and later reflection on the state of the vampire population seems to indicate that he almost volunteered to participate in the Fellowship's efforts in part to see how the vampires and the humans would deal with the issue. He's emerging as more than a vampire leader, but as someone who wants to usher in a peaceful revolution, not unlike that dude Jesus. Maybe? I don't know. And I still am not able to even really guess what the deal is with Maryann. Is she somehow part of Godric? Is Godric somehow also God? And what exactly is Maryann trying to accomplish with Tara and Eggs? And why isn't Andy a part of it other than to serve as the fool who distracts everyone from what's going on?

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Those are some deep questions KDiddy. I didn’t think of a single one of those metaphors. I was too busy wishing Eric would bite me. And that kind of makes me a sad and unevolved person. Which is why you have a column and I can sometimes scribble out a mildly coherent weekly grocery list with ingredients that might be pieced together to make 1.3 meals.

Jason really shined in this episode. I don’t know where the Maryann story line is going. The heart scene was full on disgusting. She could have at least had a sharper knife when she was slicing up that heart. And Eric. Lovely Eric. Yikes. Yahoo. Yum. All I have to say about that.


I too was all kinds of distracted by Eric because damn that man can rock a wife-beater.... but we need some shirtless Eric I think, and LOTS of it.

I think my favorite exchange was between Eric and Sookie:

Sookie: “He's your maker isn't he?”
Eric: “Don't use words you don't understand.”
Sookie: “You have a lot of love for him.”
Eric: “Don't use words I don't understand.”

Just Shireen

This presents many problems, not the least of which is that Merlotte's now needs ANOTHER waitress.

Bless you for noticing the important part of that scene. heh.

Now if you'll excuse me I need to finish reading. brb.


How about a vampire waitress? Jessica can work the night shift at Merlotte's, can keep the peace a little, and might just be a little harder to kill than the procession of human waitresses that has gone before.

Rebecca (Bearca)

I am always so excited to read your recaps. They are almost as awesome as shirtless Eric. ALMOST.

Totally agree with you that this episode really veered into metaphorical territory. I'm sure it's not a coincidence that Godric's name has "God" in it. He's definitely supposed to be some type of God figure, but I am dying to know how it relates to Maryann. Because it has to. Right?


I hate to say it, but I think the Maryann thing is going to result in the death of Eggs. And boy will I miss looking at that man. Rawr.

Also, I've been so disappointed in what they have done with Sookie and Bill this season. So boring. I hope we can get beyond that bullshit soon and see Sookie kick some ass.

Account Deleted

i have to admit i'm pre-tty excited at the prospect of Eric having more than a passing interest in Sookie. who, for the record, has the largest pair of nuts in that room full of vampires for standing up to Lorena that way. there might have been some cheers in the room when that happened.


Sadly, I have to agree with you. Things are not going to end well for dear Eggs. I just have a feeling that the possibility of seeing those abs on a regular basis is too good to be true.

And speaking of too good to be true. I feel a rude awakening about to descend on Bill and Sookie (Bookie? Soil? Bilkie?) Something's in the wind, for sure.

And the Bill/Jason hug? One of the best moments on TV this year.


Eric actually smiled about 3 times in this episode, and then also had a wounded puppy dog look while bowing down to Godric. Emotions! He haz them! As well as a kick-ass racist dork accent.

Steve's sneering of Jesus-Christ-WTF-is-up-with-you-and-vampires-Sookie? made me laugh out loud.

You excel at this, as always, kdiddy.


SKAA-Weeee....I loved that part too. I lick it.

Or when Eric purred that maybe one day she will know how strong the bond is between a maker and a vamp. And Bill shot Eric with his vampire Emo hate glare. I liked that too.

Suck it Bill.

Oh, and me thinks you guys are right about eggs. There's going to be fried eggs.... cracked eggs...rotten eggs....scrambled eggs....okay. I'm done.


Dude. That entry of Bill's? With the SOOKEH? Was fucking HYSTERICAL. HYSTERICAL. It was like an SNL parody of their relationship. HA HA HA.


kdiddy's more evolved than all of us. Tru, dat.

Oh and also, back of all you bitches, ERIC IS MINE.

Have a nice day! :)

Just Shireen

I'm 100% convinced that Bill was Scarlett O'Hara in another life for all the drama he exudes.

Just Shireen

It's interesting b/c in the books (and hopefully I'm not giving anything away) he went to the FOS of his own free will. He was tired of all the cruelty in the world and was ready to end his life. It's interesting to see how they've molded his character in the show.


I'm a sharer. You blood bags can have him during the day. I'll take nights. Heh.


1. I'll never again eat dinner during True Blood.

2. Totally thought that they were trying to do something fancy there with Godric being so un-vampire like. Also, I love Godric.


I rewound that scene a few (okay FIVE) times to see that exchange again and again. I wish Lorena would just take Bill away and Eric would suck that bad accent out of Sookie and we could continue on our merry ways.
The heart scene was too much for me. I think I almost gagged. When they were eating that "souffle" too! Yikes. (And I watch an inordinate amount of gory horror movies.)
At first I was a little put out with the repetition of Godric's spiel, but then I realized just why he was repeating it: it's a message! About society! About the state of the world! Egads.
Eric smiling was the highlight of the episode. Oh, and Jason being all big-brother protective.


That would be an awesome SNL skit! LOL's


We could just do a Big Love type setup and trade nights because if the choice was between sharing Eric and no sharing - I'll share!

"vampire Emo hate glare." LMAO!

Also loved Jason's protective big brother side....very adorable.

I could do without cutting up and eating hearts though....GAG!!!

Fawn Amber

Oh man...
Eric? SLURP.
Jason? Love.

I laughed out loud at Bill's "AH AM NAWT HONGRY!" to Lorena --heehee

The souffle scene had me gagging as well. OMG. I kept telling myself "It's spaghetti sauce. It's spaghetti sauce". But damn.

Favorite moment - when Sookie grabs Lorena's hand with "do not touch him!" - girl, come on!


I loved the scenes of Steve after Jason shot him in the forehead with the paint gun. Steve kept walking around and talking with this huge green glob of paint in the center of his forehead. Cracked me up!

Talk about messages: How about Steve's speech of 'You are either with me or against me' How very Bush of him. I turned to my husband and told him these writers must be anti-Bush because they just totally took a crazy Texan and had him recite Bush's words.

Amanda of Shamelessly Sassy

Here's the thing: I am so sick of Maryann. I'm ready for her to schlep her weird ass on off the show. Also, if I could just dry hump Eric, I would be totally happy. It would solve all of the problems in my life. I'm convinced.


The best thing about all the Eric love is that I can have Bill and don't even have to share him.

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