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True Blood Recap: New World in My View

True_blood_episode_22I felt a strong connection to this episode of True Blood, because back before the economy tanked and the price of groceries went through the roof, my friends and I used to celebrate the Fourth of July by building a meat sculpture in the front yard. Ah, memories.

At the hotel, we see Sookie walking down the hallways after Godric's dramatic evaporation. She goes to Eric's room. He is shirtless and crying. And shirtless. Sookie tells him that Godric is gone and that she's so sorry for his loss. She gently lifts Eric's chin up, leans in and kisses his tears. Eric grabs her hand and pulls her to him. It's important to note that Eric is shirtless. They kiss and Eric is still shirtless as they lay down. Eric's fangs come out. Sookie gently touches the fangs and then offers her neck. She jerks awake and I yell at the TV because I'm getting really tired of Sookie ending all of the good dreams. She's in the car, travelling back to Bon Temps with Jason and Bill in his travel coffin. Jason smirks at her and asks her what she was dreaming about. Sookie, confused and perhaps a tad embarrassed, touches Bill's coffin. As they pull into Bon Temps, they realize that the town has been trashed. The "Welcome to Bon Temps" sign has been defaced with truly demonic things, like penises (insert tortured, terrified screams here). They pass a dude who is banging his head off of a pillar and suddenly two people throw themselves in front of the car. Sookie, Jason, and the driver get out to check on them, but they are cackling and reveling in their injuries in all of their black-eyed glory. The two maniacs run off, yelling that they have to go find Sam.

Maryann and Eggs are busy working on this big tree/cross-looking structure made of meat, veggies, and flowers. Maryann surmises that it needs more meat and Karl asks if he should bring five more pounds of ground chuck. Maryann puts on her mom voice and says, "Think about who this is for. Aim higher." Karl suggests some corn-fed Kobe beef and Maryann congratulates him for finally understanding the proper techniques and materials for building a sacrificial altar for a good old-fashioned, down-home bacchanalia. Eggs, whose eyes have remained black, offers to go kills something so that it's fresh. What a swell guy.

Andy returns to the motel room where Sam is still hiding. He's brought Sam's clothes from the jail and says that the whole town is going down the crapper. Sam says that he has no idea how to deal with the maenad and Andy looks confused. Apparently, because of last night's bender, Andy forgot all about Sam's explanation of how Maryann was to blame for all of this. Andy declares that she's another serial killer, but Sam points out that she's a supernatural creature, immortal, and has powers. She's not leaving until she gets what she wants, which Sam thinks is him. Specifically, she wants to cut his heart out while naked people watch for Dionysus or Satan or some god who has horns. You know, the usual. On the plus side, Andy is suddenly feeling much more sane, even though Sam refrains from telling him that that pig that Andy was chasing around was his girlfriend and also a double agent for Maryann. Andy sighs, "We need to kill that bitch." God, he's slow. Sam explains again that she doesn't die. Arlene calls from Merlotte's. She's sobbing and says that a mob is coming for her and she's afraid that Maryann might go after her kids. Who is watching her kids while she loses her shit, by the way? Sam says that he'll be right there.

Sookie, Jason and Bill are at Bill's house. Jason is on the phone, leaving a message at the abandoned sheriff's office about what they've seen and asking if there was a terrorist attack or something. Hoyt's mom, black-eyed, appears at the top of the stairs and immediately starts harrassing them. Hoyt and Jessica explain that they thought that it was a bad reaction to her diet pills, which makes sense because Ephedra can really fuck you up, but it's obvious that this is more than marginally legal speed gone wrong. Hoyt's mom says that she's staying like this for as long as it takes for "him" to get his offering. Jason notes that that sounds fucked up. Hoyt and Jessica explain that she has been going on about Sam for awhile and suddenly she starts coming on to Jason. It seems like a losing proposition. Jason doesn't really seem like the psychotic cougar type. Bill asks if she ever calms down and Hoyt says that playing Wii makes her focus, but that's about it. We next see Mrs. Fortenberry going apeshit over some first-person shooter game as Bill looks on, annoyed and disturbed. Can I just say that I love that Bill has a Wii? Bill clarifies that she claims that God is coming and that they're going to get Sam and take him to Maryann's. Sookies asks where Maryann's is and Hoyt says that it's at her house. Sookie is not exactly thrilled to hear this, but moves on and asks if anyone has been scratched with big claws. Hoyt reports that Miss Jeannette had some deep scratches in her back and Daphne had some very serious scars. Sookie asks if Daphne is the new waitress at Merlotte's and Jason perks up and asks, "There's a new waitress at Merlotte's?" Hoyt explains that she is now dead and minus a heart and Jason kind of rolls his eyes and tosses his hands in the air a little bit. He says he's going to Merlotte's but Bill warns him not to. Jason defiantly declares that he's not going to let some creature destroy Bon Temps (and kill all the good waitress ass). Sookie slowly tells him that this would be one of those times to use his head but Jason says that this here is the war that he's been training for. It is indeed useful sometimes to have someone with fundamentalist crusade militia training handy. Bill confirms that Jason can indeed take care of himself. Sookie hugs Jason and warns him not to go into the woods by himself. She asks Hoyt where Tara is and Hoyt says that she's been partying pretty hard at Maryann's.

Andy and Sam show up at Merlotte's. Andy is steadily taking swigs from a bottle of whiskey. Arlene doesn't appear to be there anymore and Andy says that it's empty, just like the sheriff's office. Sam says that there's still people there, that he can smell them. Arlene suddenly appears but she is black-eyed and weilding a very large knife. The other minions come out of hiding and start chanting, giddy at having Sam within their grasp. Andy fires his gun into the air which only makes them howl with laughter. Terry lunges at Andy and grabs the gun, firing it in the direction of the bar, killing a bottle of Stoli. Arlene shouts at him to at least shoot the cheap liquor. These folks may be posessed, but they still have taste. I respect that. Terry ends up shooting a guy in the arm, but they all laugh. Sam and Andy run into the kitchen and hide in the walk-in refrigerator. Andy has the good sense to grab a bottle of whiskey on their way in. The minions howl outside the door but Terry goes into soldier mode and notes that they've secured their target and their mission is actually accomplished. Sam and Andy note that while they're still alive, they're kind of fucked. They're trapped and even if they could kill all of the people outside, they're their friends and neighbors and cousins. Fucked, indeed.

Lafayette and Lettie Mae have tied Tara up in Lafayette's house, but aren't making any progress with her. Lettie Mae kneels in front of Tara and coos, "Tell Mama what you need." Tara responds by headbutting Lettie Mae and spitting in Lafayette's face. Lettie Mae wishes that Miss Jeannette was still alive, but Lafayette snaps that Tara doesn't need some backwoods witch, but some thorazine and a padded cell. Lettie Mae starts to pray and Lafayette joins her, much to her surprise. Lafayette answers her puzzled look by explaining that he and Jesus agreed to see other people but still speak from time to time. Lettie Mae and Lafayette both blame themselves for Tara's fall into darkness. Tara responds by cackling and saying, "He's coming. He's gonna kill us all."

Sookie and Bill pull up to her house and marvel in disgust at the meat sculpture and I get the feeling that Sookie is rethinking being roommates with Tara. I mean, shit, I've known people who have had easier times dealing with roommates that they found on Craig's List. They tentatively enter the house which is a total disaster with shit and dirt smeared on the walls and Blair Witch-like stick figures all over the place. Sookie calls for Tara but doesn't get a reply. Lafayette calls Sookie and tells her that he has Tara and that she needs to get the heck out of there. They go to leave but bump into Maryann, who asks them what they are doing in her house. Sookie growls that this is not her house but Maraynn sneers that it is now. Bill tells Maryann that he strongly suggests that she remove herself from the premises but Maryann responds by grabbing Sookie by the throat and pinning her up against the wall. With the contact, Sookie realizes that Maryann was the creature who attacked her. Bill grabs Maryann and sinks his teeth into her throat and she howls in ecstasy, ordering Bill to ravage her. Bill jumps back from Maryann, poisoned by her blood, and starts throwing up. It's kind of gross. Sookie pushes Maryann back by her face, doing a sort of Heisman Trophy/DO NOT WANT stiff-arm, which unleashes a bright light from Sookie's palm. Maryann is stunned but asks, "What ARE you? That was fun!" Bill and Sookie take off.

Andy and Sam are keeping warm in the fridge by drinking the whiskey. Sam feels bad for being the cause of this situation but Andy says that he's been good to this town...even if he is a sometimes nudist. Andy tells Sam about the nanny named Annie that he had as a kid, who told him that in the country of the blind, the one-eyed man was king, and that Sam has the burden of being the one-eyed man. "I have no idea what you're talking about," says Sam. "I don't either," says Andy.

Jason drives up to Merlotte's in a Jeep full of heavy artillery and chainsaws. He sneaks into Merlotte's where the minions are having an orgy that, if possible, seems even nastier than all of their previous ones. No one is paying much attention to Jason, though they seem pleased that he had the bitchin' idea to bring a chainsaw. They remain unfazed when Jason saws through the stereo and when he nails a minion's shirt to the bar with a nail gun. Jason grabs Arlene and points the nail gun to her head. Terry tells Jason not to hurt his special lady but Arlene howls in delight and tells him to do it. "I need a haircut anyway," she tells Terry. Terry calls for a timeout and asks for Jason's demands. Jason says that they need to leave so Terry leads them outside. "We'll unfuck this situation at a later date," he says, as Jason releases Arlene to him.

Bill is still barfing out of Sookie's car. Sookie wants to call Eric but Bill still has his pride and will NOT turn to him. He asks Sookie what exactly was the flashy palm thing that Sookie did to Maryann but Sookie has no idea. Bill swears to kill Maryann but isn't sure exactly how to do so. But he thinks Tara may be of some help since she's been heavily under Maryann's influence. He asks for Sookie's wrist so that he can heal himself with some of her blood. She hands it over and he digs in, which doesn't seem like an especially safe thing to do while driving.

Jason tells Andy and Sam that they can emerge from the fridge and after checking Jason's eyes, they do so. Jason explains that he got the minions to leave by threatening to shoot a bunch of nails into Arlene's head, but they'll need a bigger divergence. Suddenly, a keg flies through window and the minions start pouring in. Terry tells them that there's no escaping, that God is coming. Sam decides to hand him self over, much to Jason and Andy's dismay.

At Lafayette's, Tara is chanting incessantly, which seems to be more annoying than disturbing. Lafayette slaps her across the face and tells her to snap the fuck out of it and declares this to be the worst motherfucking intervention in history. There's a knock at the door and it's one of Lafayette's V customers. Lafayette tells her to come back later but she says that it's finals week and she's not leaving until she gets the V. Bill and Sookie have just pulled up and Bill swooshes up to the customer and tells her that she is, indeed, leaving. Lafayette stammers that Eric is the one making him push V (still wondering what is up with that). Sookie goes inside and Lafayette officially invites Bill in. If it were me, I would forget that part all the time and vampires would constantly be stranded on my porch, all, "Hey! HEY! What the fuck, man?" Sookie is not having any success with Tara. She tries to enter Tara's mind but says that it's all dark, Tara's gone. Bill urges her to keep trying, to go further into her mind than ever before. Sookie tries, seeing glimpses of Maryann, but says that there's something that she can't cross, an abyss. Bill offers to glamour her. Lettie Mae grabs Lafayette's hand as Bill peers into Tara's black eyes and tells her to let him in.

The minions tie Sam to the hood of a car, thanking him for giving them this gift so that He can come into the world. Suddenly, flares fly past overhead and the minions are distracted, oohing and aahing. Jason stands on top of a car, shirtless (thanks, HBO!) and wearing a gas mask. He's holding flares and tells them to go home. He says that Sam is the best offering ever and that they will all have great weather and good crops. Jason is pretty good at this, but Terry calls bullshit, noting that God has horns. Andy appears behind Jason and holds a branch behind his head, which does the trick. Sam gets off of the car and hisses at Jason to smite him, though Jason doesn't really know what that means. "Smite me, motherfucker!" says Sam, so Jason bellows, "I SMITE THEE!" Sam disappears, presumably transformed into something tiny. Jason and Andy mutter, "What the fuck just happened?" but have the more pressing matter of dispersing the minions. "There. Happy?" says Jason and they respond, "Well...yeah." Jason orders them to tell their leader that he was very pleased with his offering. Terry orders everyone to report to Maryann for debriefing and one of the minions, the one that lost her pants a few days back, cracks that if anyone wants to debrief her, they can do so right now. The minions run off and Jason and Andy ask each other what the hell happened to Sam. Sam walks out, wearing only an apron, which means exposed bum. He promises to explain later but first insists that they put out the flares. Andy watches this, takes a swig of whiskey, then says, "That's the last drink I'll ever take."

At Lafayette's, Bill's glamouring of Tara isn't working. She hisses at him that she's not his slave girl, but Lafayette snaps back that if ever there was a time to listen to a white man, then this would be it. Bill finally snags her a bit, which allows Sookie to go in. She sees Tara's ordeal and somehow this makes Tara return. She looks around and sobs that she's crazy. She sees Lettie Mae and sobs even harder and apologizes. Lettie Mae hugs her and says that she knew it wasn't Tara. Lettie Mae thanks Bill and Sookie excuses herself to get some air. Tara and Lafayette hug and she suddenly panics, saying that she needs to go get Eggs, but Lafayette says no, locking her in. Outside, Sookie tells Bill that every trace of Tara was gone, replaced. She thought that vampires were the only ones who could hypnotize people. Bill looks at her and says, "No offense, Sookeh, but humans are shockingly susceptible to every form of thought manipulation." In other words, Y'ALL ARE SUCKERS. Sookie notes that it's all coming from Maryann. They eat people's hearts but she wants more, she wants their souls. Plus, there was that chanting. Sookie recites the chant for Bill, Lo Lo Blah Blah Blah. I don't know. Somehow she memorized the whole damn thing. This makes Bill flash back to his time with Lorena in the 30s and a book he read about Bacchus and Dionysus and all those dudes. He realizes that he might know one vampire who can kill her, but he must go to her alone. He asks if Sookie can do the flashy palm thing again but she doesn't know. He orders her to keep her friends safe and stay away from her house. No matter what occurs! Then he grabs his musket and jumps through a waterfall. Er, no, that was Last of the Mohicans. My bad. They kiss good-bye and then Bill swooshes away.

Hoyt is locking his mother in who is whining about never getting to go to any parties because of him. Jessica is getting really pissed and when Mrs. Fortenberry calls Hoyt a half-man, just like his dad, and calls Jessica a dead whore, Jessica finally snaps and goes to town on her neck.

Bill approaches a heavily guarded mansion. One of the guards tells him that he's expected. As Bill enters, he says, "Your majesty?" but stops short when he sees a dangling foot, dripping with blood. Presumably, this is the lair of Queen Sophie-Anne, Evan Rachel Wood's character. Which means shit's about to get real up in Bon Temps.

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I was glad to see that Eric negated the skin tight mourning shirt for the no shirt option. I kind of hope he gets sad again. Maybe he’ll lose the pants next time.

When the Bon Temps population wakes up from being possessed Red Cross is going to need to come and set up hangover and venereal disease clinics.

Rebecca (Bearca)

Things are getting nutty in Bon Temps, that's for damn sure!

I too have been curious what the deal is with Eric forcing Lafayette to sell V. I mean, Lafayette already had some of Eric's blood that healed him from his injuries, so Eric should know where he is at all times. Right? So why would he need an additional thing to keep track of him?

Which reminds me: why so little Eric this episode? WHYYYYY?


It actually makes sense that the vamps would be getting the V trade under their control. They would know who was selling, who was buying, and they could control who was donating. Obviously they don't have to die to donate, maybe they could use it as a punishment. "OOOHHH, you did a naughty thing tonight Vampire Ralph, you are sentenced to donate one pint to our growing drug business. And you must wear the dunce hat, and sit in the corner, and shine Pam's pumps."


I think it's funny that since Mary Anne is in town, there are no children in Bon Temps. Seriously, what are the kiddos doing while their parents go bat chit crazy???

Eric. Yummy.


LMAO at the Red Cross clinic.

More shirtless Eric HBO plllleeeeaaaassseseeee.


Lafayette officially invites Bill in. If it were me, I would forget that part all the time and vampires would constantly be stranded on my porch, all, "Hey! HEY! What the fuck, man?"

And that's where I got caught reading MamaPop at work because of all the laughing.

Fantastic episode, I can't wait to see what happens next week.

Just Shireen

Why so little Viking Vampire, True Blood? Do not appreciate!

Although, Sam Smite Me Motherfucker Merlott putting out fires in nothing but an apron might have been my favorite part of the episode.

Only 2 more episodes? SOB.


All I could think during this ep (besides AHHHH ERIC...) was a lot of people are going to be embarrassed in Bon Temps the day after that party...


I think he's trying to find out who the buyers all are.


My only WTF moment of the episode, because I have suspended my disbelief so well so far, is that of the "creampuff" cheerleader chick who needed V to get through finals. Really? Does she live in Bon Temps? How is she not affected by Marianne? If she didn't live in Bon Temps, didn't she see the vandalized sign when she came in that pretty much said, get the F out of here? Also, how many days have Sookie and Bill been in Dallas while this has taken place? My timeline is all screwy.


I've been wondering about the few immune people also.

I figured Jason must have something in him that makes him immune given what Sookie can do (something runs in the family), but I'm still wondering about Lafayette and Lettie Mae.

Maybe the V for Lafayette?

Lettie Mae - maybe she was truly exorcised?


Ok,shirtless Eric,shirtless Jason and Sams nekkid ass,WIN WIN WIN!!!! Damn I love this show

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