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Friday Combo Platter: Shity Gettho Edition

Combo_platter

You are regularly treated to the wit of your beloved MamaPop writers here on the site. But did you know that behind the scenes we crack each other up via our email distro? At least once a week, an email thread brightens the days of your resident pop culture mavens through the cunning use of sarcasm and absurdity. Not too long ago, someone had the fantastic idea of picking the best thread of the week and letting the readers get a peek inside the insanity, er, brilliance that keeps this place going.

We also receive some very special comments from you, our dear readers. Comments that give us some insight into the quirky inner workings of the emotional roller coasters that you ride when reading about shark movies and Top Chef and Speidi.

So, as material permits, we're going to start bring the best of the distro and the comments in a new feature called the Friday Combo Platter.


The best email distro of the week has a bonus dash of tastelessness regarding Mackenzie Phillips' revelation about her, um, relationship with her late father:

BHJ: Did you guys see that bit in People about McKenzie Phillips having a longterm incestual affair with her Dad? Ew. They even got it on the night before she got married. Nice.

Sweetney: WHAT!??!?!?!

Motherbumper: I just read that one about McKenzie Phillips and felt sick.  She's going to be Oprah (today?) to talk about it.

Her Bad Mother: yeah. GROSS. http://www.people.com/people/article/0,,20307481,00.html?xid=rss-topheadlines

Sweetney: OMG SOMEONE PLEASE COVER PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE!!

BHJ: Those crazy 60s!

Her Bad Mother: am throwing something up now. in all senses of that term.

CIII: Damn.  That put me off my omelet.  I'm going to finish the hashbrowns though.

Palinode: I wonder if he had sex with Wilson Phillips.

BHJ: Or 80s skate phenom, Jeff Phillips?. He killed himself. Incest victims frequently blame themselves and take their own lives.

kdiddy: Too soon.

Palinode: What about Philip Michael Thomas? He hasn't done anything since Nash Bridges. That's like career suicide.

Sweetney: it's too early for y'all to be making me pee my pants.

Palinode: Breaking MamaPop Stories:
1. McKenzie Phillips incest
2. Sweetney incontinent
3. Heirloom tomatoes on sale!

Our comment of the week is actually a few months old, but as you'll see, the comment and the ensuing thread are so classic that they must be shared. (Note: we had not changed the site at all to force a mobile site on phones, so that made this email that much more of a headscratcher.)

Reader "S" writes:

Re: No FORCED mobile site please!

I don't know if this is a "tip" (to not lose readers it sure is) or what, but anyhow...


I tried to click over to a MamaPop article I saw on my mobile RSS reader earlier today on my mobile device and I was FORCiBLY redirected to your text-only, scaled-down, crappy mobile site! No pictures no nothing but "look at the pic" in the text, WHAT PIC?? Look, I have a Sidekick 2009 LX, it's fully 3G, and has REAL internet, Sidekicks have had real full internet even before the iPhone existed! I don't need to be FORCiBLY redirected to some crappy mobile site. My phone does everything a iPhone (including the new one) does, and I didn't pay half a grand to be forced into the same shity place as a group of losers with their $19.95 pseudo-"internet" track phones. Just to look at the main menu I was first forced to some stupid web-page saying my mobile device probably couldn't handle it, WTF!?! MY mobile device can handle ANYTHING your computers can, quit insulting me and those of us who aren't totally gettho as if everyone was. If you want to keep viewers, considering how many of us now have ACTUAL smart phones and real internet on them, it would be a GREAT idea to not sit-up your web-site to sniff for mobile devices then FORCE us all to the useless mobile loser site. Why not just put a link at the bottom of the page to that half-ass junk for the losers? Why does everyone in America only cater to cheep trash losers and idiot morons, and then force the rest of us who are not to suffer?

I notice now I'm no longer forced to the crapola mobile-site, GOOD. If this was an experiment it was a FAIL as far as my vote goes, please do not repeat it again, thanks.


The MamaPop email distro response:

kdiddy: Actually this email deserves a keyboard cat. Play her off keyboard cat!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Yp6U_5qEE0Y

Sweetney: HER MOBILE DEVICE CAN HANDLE ANYTHING YOUR COMPUTERS CAN, QUIT INSULTING HER KEYBOARD CAT!!!

Jodi: Anger management. 

MissBanshee: gonna pass out.

Amalah: It's so perfect, my jaded self started to wonder if this is some kind of crazy viral marketing for the Sidekick 2009 LX (fully 3G!), which is NOT SHITY GETTHO.

Snarky Amber: Tracey, if you respond, please reply from your iPhone and change "sent from my iPhone" to read "sent from my gettho shity iPhone that is not as cool as a Sidekick, nosiree".

kdiddy: I wish you guys could hear me trying to pronounce FORCiBLY gettho and shity. It's like I have a lisp and volume control problems.

Sweetney: Kelly, I think you know I don't say this lightly, but mental hospital.

Goon Squad Sarah: Is it just me or are you guys also surprised at how many MamaPop readers are concerned with Michael Jackson's salvation?
http://www.mamapop.com/mamapop/2009/06/breaking-news-michael-jackson-rushed-to-hospital.html

Miss Banshee: I'm much more concerned about why I suddenly want to get a CHI STRAIGHTENING IRON. Crafty spammers...

kdiddy: for when you need to FORCiBLY straighten your hair.

Palinode: Hi, I went to look at Chi Hair Straighteners and I had my hair FORCiBLY straightened.  My hair is fully curled, not like those cheep shity gettho losers with perms, I don't see why I should have my hair FORCiBLY straightened!!!!  Don't insult people with curly hair and you might want to look at the sit-up of your hair straighteners in future.

kdiddy: just to clarify: do you have the 2009 Chi Hair Straightener LX 3GS Apple Pie and Glitter? Because the non-glitter model has had some shity results according to customers.

Sweetney: Thank god for the MamaPop email distro. That is all.








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Comments

Sweetney

I am so totally now going to finally change my iPhone signature to read "sent from my gettho shity iPhone that is not as cool as a Sidekick, nosiree."

BaltimoreGal

Philip Michael Thomas was on Nash Bridges?

Elizabeth

I hate it when websites are sit-up to be shity to cheep trash losers. And you obviously knew this person would be FORCiBLY redirected to a text only RSS page! Because you know how every single web-enabled phone handles RSS requests, right? riiighht??? *sigh*

sassystitcher

Thank you so much for ending my work day with a hearty LOL! The Breaking Stories thing made people peek in to see what was making me crack up.

DianaCLT

I was just tilting my very full glass to take a drink of water while reading, and laughed so hard that I blew into the glass, thus spraying myself with water. Thanks. It is rather hot today... ;)

That was the awesome. See? There is a purpose for pretentious illiterates in the world! Who knew?!?!

Palinode

Yo iPhone, I'm really happy for you and I'm a gonna let you complete your sit-up, but Sidekick LX 9000 is the least shity gettho phone OF ALL TIME.

See, Kanye actually traveled back in time to pull that off.

Mrs Chaos

So funny...

Palinode

Whoops. Sidekick 2009 LX. Hate to make a joke and end up with the shity trash losers.

Mrs Chaos

Um...I have no idea why my comment is pushed down so far. None.

sweetney

@Mrs. Chaos Huh? Wait -- was it FORCiBLY pushed down?

sweetney

@Mrs. Chaos Huh? Wait -- was it FORCiBLY pushed down?

sweetney

Oh god. I hate the double comments. So shity gettho.

jodifur

I like how all the writers have writer names and I'm Jodi! B/c I'm everyone's BFF! I'm the everywriter!

This still made me laugh out loud so much my 4 year old was like, what is so funny Mommy? I can't hear the TV!

TVO

That is some pretty funny shit. Thanks for sharing.

indycitygirl

"Why does everyone in America only cater to cheep trash losers and idiot morons, and then force the rest of us who are not to suffer?"

I think she just answered her own question...Just WOW!! Too funny,best laugh all day...

Lena

Hmm. Must start participating more. This seems like a performance review.




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