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Gossip Rag Wednesday: Plastic Surgery Can't Save You Now Edition

Star_magazine_tori_spelling_dean_marriage

This is what happens when you try to run an inn with your spouse. I'm talking about the loveless marriage, not the plastic surgery, by the way.

Ok_magazine_robert_pattinson_kristen_stewart_engaged1

And then we have the other end of the spectrum. Apparently when you're in love you can't shut your mouth anymore. Sad, really.

And not we move on to the portion of this week's program about which I have nothing amusing to say:

People_magazine_jaycee_dugard_cover 

National_enquirer_jacyee_dugard_house

Cannot wrap my mind around the horror of all that. Don't think I even want to try.

And now we resume our lighthearted romp through the tabloids with a little Brangelina:

Intouch_weekly_brad_pitt_angelina_jolie_separated 

She's "demanding"? What does that mean? She wants him to change some diapers? Walk around the house naked and covered in glitter? (No? Just me?) What?

Life_and_style_magazine_Shiloh_jolie_pitt 

Wait -- "private flying lessons"?? Don't you think it's a little soon to be letting her pilot aircraft?

Leann_riimes_eddie_cibrian_lovers_us_magazine_weekly 

If I were Dean I'd find that Magnum P.I. mustache particularly humiliating.

Globe_ted_kennedy_secrets 

Hey, listen, if the Globe is putting them on their cover, those secrets aren't ones he took to the grave, no?

Discuss.

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Comments

rebecca

can we focus for a sec on the ANDY GRIFFITH SEX SHOCKER!?!?!

MamaKaren

Oh, I was so hoping we could avoid all focus on the Andy Griffith sex shocker. I mean, that's just wrong on so many levels.

Somedayphd

Rebecca, My thoughts exactly. Can those phrases really go together? I can't even bring myself to type it.

tonya

Andy Griffith Sex Scandal....saving the best for last!

Trish

Just curious - who is Jillian and why do we care about her vacation album?

SciFi Dad

She was the Bachelorette.

(And now I must go light myself on fire for knowing that so easily.)

anna

Is it weird that I refuse to believe any negative gossip about Dean McDermott because he played one of the strangest characters on Due South? (That, by the way, is an achievement. It means he was stranger than a Mountie in Chicago with a deaf junk-food-addict half-wolf, that Mountie's ghost of a father, a singing mortician, and Leslie Nielsen, among other characters.)

JellyBean

Wait, who robbed Lilo? I thought she was the one with sticky fingers? If you rob someone and then they rob you back to get their stuff, isn't that just a wash?

Irma

On a serious note (sorry!), the thing about the whole Jaycee thing that disturbs me the most is this: if the woman was just living in his backyard (or in the house as some reports speculate), why didn't she simply climb the fence and leave? From all accounts se and her daughter were not physically restrained.

That ISN'T a mean or snarky or ignorant comment about HER: what I'm trying to say is I literally can't imagine what kind of mental and emotional fuckery he exposed her to that she was literally too scared or brainwashed to just walk out. So so so so sad.

helenel

Next: Glen Campbell Orgy Parties. or Jim Nabors Drug Fiesta. or Homeless Mac Davis Debauchery.

(Although, Andy WAS great in "Waitress". He could still be pretty frisky.)

Does Kristin Stewart always look high? Honestly.

funda62

What I want to know is where is Brittany's c-section scar? How does she get away with wearing bikinis?




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