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Just In Time For Halloween: David Hasselhoff Wants You To Download HIS BRAINZ

Hasselhoff David Hasselhoff has just released his own iPhone app. Yes, that David Hasselhoff. Yep. I know.

It would be awesome if it weren't such a clear harbinger of the apocalypse.

It's an iPhone application... of his BRAIN. That's right. Now you too can partake in David Hasselhoff's brains and you don't even need to be a zombie.

David-hasselhoff-07 From RealWire:

Following his hit TV series Meet The Hasselhoffs, one of the world's most popular television icons is set to make headlines again with the launch of his own iPhone app.

David Hasselhoff, who is listed in the Guinness Book of World Records as "The Most Watched TV Star in the World",
(ed. note: HA HA HA HA HA HA) promises to answer all of life's questions with his official iPhone app Ask The Hoff (the preceding links directly iTunes Store, FYI), which is now available in the iTunes App Store.

According to the app, scientists have downloaded Hoff's brain into the iPhone. After the user asks a question and shakes the phone, an animated version of the Hoff replies with one of a number of pre-recorded responses, voiced by Hasselhoff himself. (
ed. note: perfect for terrifying your children. Mothers, take note: you don't need a naughty chair when you have THE VOICE OF THE HOFF.)

"I know there are moments when everyone faces major decisions in life and need advice from an expert,"said Hasselhoff, "so as the proud owner of not one but two iPhones (I like to be able to make two phone calls at once!), (
ed. note: ALSO, HE CAN WALK AND CHEW GUM.) I'm very pleased to announce the launch of my very own iPhone app."

"It's silly and it's fun, but it's the only way to make important decisions at home and at work," commented Paul Smith, creative partner at Never Odd Or Even LLP. "This iPhone app gives iPhone and iPod owners the chance to receive guidance from their favorite bouffant haired Trans Am driving lifeguard."
(ed. note: see above re: HA HA HA HA HA.)

I think that I JUST DIED LAUGHING. Which means, I guess, that I don't need to go download that app. I could, if I wanted, just wait until I arise from the grave and then shamble on down to wherever the fuck he is and mainline his brains directly.

Or not. Hoff brain is probably stringy.








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Comments

MaoMao's Mommy

My Lord, what is that wrinkly flesh-colored thing laying on his stomach?

(Oh, it's a puppy, my mind was thinking something far far worse.)

BaltimoreGal

There's not too much creepier than a nude man with a puppy on his private parts. Actually only one thing. EW.

Sweetney

"perfect for terrifying your children. Mothers, take note: you don't need a naughty chair when you have THE VOICE OF THE HOFF." - BWAHAAHHAAAAA!

Her Bad Mother

I totes downloaded it. Best 99 cents spent EVAR.




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