pop culture gossip community about contact archives subscribe advertise fine print bmc

« Your Day In Good News: Improv Everywhere | Pop Culture Main | Amy Winehouse: In Ur Nitemarez, Stealin Ur Babeez »

Gossip Rag Wednesday: Old News Edition

Fresh, new covers with dusty, old content! Whoo! Most of the tabloids this week seem to be reporting news that isn't actually news to anyone at all. Let's see exactly what we've got here.

Well, alright, this is a tad surprising. Andrew Agassi graces the cover of People this week, admitting using crystal meth during his time atop the tennis charts in his new tell-all book Open. He also talks about his "doomed" marriage to Brooke Shields. The drugs are surprising, I guess, but I don't know if tennis has a seedy underbelly I've just never been privy to. What doesn't shock me is that a marriage that has been over for years was, in fact, doomed back in the day. Would it shock YOU to find out a long-ago divorced couple was doomed while together? (Especially since it's rumored Andre used to tape a picture of now-wife Steffi Graf on the fridge to motivate Brooke to work out. Yeah. If that doesn't scream doomed, a spread in People and a new book sure won't do the trick.)


Here we have the 900th tabloid issue that predicts the imminent demise of Tom and Katie's relationship. How can this couple still be selling magazines? Their marriage has been reported over since it began, three years ago. DOES ANYONE CARE ANY LONGER? Every time I see a cover with this miserable-looking couple, I have to remind myself they're still, in fact, together. That's how many covers have told of their marriage ending. Also, a Jon & Kate movie? With Dean Cain? Tell me more.

The couple who has never actually gone public has allegedly now split, just weeks after showing the same magazine their "love nest." I think magazines are just splashing these Twilight stars on the cover and putting random words below the picture because does it really matter? People are going to buy the issue regardless. Next week: Rob and Kristen: Get new cell phones!!!!! Rob and Kristen: Eat at separate restaurants!! OMG!!!! Rob and Kristen: Squirrel!!! (Oh, that sounds interesting, I wonder what that's all about.) Also, uh, if we've previously been exposed to in-love Kristen, post-breakup, broken-hearted Kristen is going to be a real walk in the park.

Life & Style
I'm not watching this season's Biggest Loser, but after losing her husband and kids in a car wreck, am I really going to try and say something snarky about this woman's weight loss? No. You look great, Abby. But a Jessica Simpson/John Mayer/Jennifer Aniston love triangle totally icks me out.

US Weekly
So, Bachelor Jason popped the question to Molly, and this time he's sure. He promises. Forget all those other promises he made before he was sure. Like to a completely different woman with a completely different proposal. Ignore all that. That didn't count. This time, he's sure. OMG HOW IS THIS COUPLE STILL NEWSWORTHY? Why do they look so depressed, also? Molly is The One! The One who apparently robs him of his soul.

In Touch
Brad is jealous of Jen's third-times-most-definitely-not-going-to-be-a-charm attempt with John Mayer? Ha. HAAAAA. Normal, ordinary people aren't jealous of that trainwreck, so I think it's safe to say neither is Brad Pitt. Flirty texts? Interrupted hookups? I ... just ... oh look, The Real Housewives had some babies. That's cute.

« Your Day In Good News: Improv Everywhere | Pop Culture Main | Amy Winehouse: In Ur Nitemarez, Stealin Ur Babeez »


TrackBack URL for this entry:

Listed below are links to weblogs that reference Gossip Rag Wednesday: Old News Edition:



I do love Abby and I would love to know where to get that ring for $6 so I might have to get the Life & Style Weekly....


I didn't know Abbey's story until last night and DAMN reality TV!!! I cried my eyes out!! ABBEY ROCKS!!


Ivanka looks so beautiful! Same pic on every magazine but the dress, the hair, the flowers, the groom, such a classically beautiful wedding photo!

Amy H

I mean, it's like Star magazine isn't even trying anymore. That is clearly 3 separate pictures of Tom, Katie and Suri. Katie isn't even holding Suri in the shot of her holding coffee...the hand under little Suri was from another picture.



"The One who steals his soul"

Good nonsense, that was hilarious. I am in awe.


Dean Cain does look like Douchey Gosslin and for that i would hide my face in shame if I was Dean.But Andre using the meth!!! SHOCKING!!! He is a hottie now that he has aged nicely and lost that bigazz furry mullet he used to sport


Amy H., I agree about the poor photoshop job on that photo! It does show how much Suri looks like Katie, though. Hadn't really seen the strong resemblance before. (Possibly, I'm blind.)

The comments to this entry are closed.

Read the Comments Policy »

« Your Day In Good News: Improv Everywhere | Main | Amy Winehouse: In Ur Nitemarez, Stealin Ur Babeez »

Blog Widget by LinkWithin