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MamaPop Video Roundtable - Awkward Moviegoing Experiences

Clockwork_orange What's that? You want another MamaPop video roundtable?  You can't live without one?  You're going to have a hernia if you can't score some of that video goodness?  I don't know how that's going to give you a hernia, but whatever. I get the message.

MamaPop video roundtable is an opportunity for all the MamaPop video contributors to get together and answer en masse your sundry questions about every last strange thing you want answered (although it's usually pop culture related).  This week we reveal to you our most horrendously awkard movie experiences ever. First dates, parents, an Elmo puppet with a brogue - it's all here.

As always, we encourage you to share your awkward movie moments with us in the comments!  And don't forget that MamaPop will answer your questions - so keep them coming. Send your roundtable questions to palinode@mamapop.com.


 

mamapop roundtable - awkward movie experiences from palinode on Vimeo.


 







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Comments

cindy w

Mine was an ambush blind date. I went to meet a friend at the movie theatre, she showed up with her boyfriend & one of his friends who she wanted to fix me up with. No warning in advance. Nice. (At the time, I was 19, a virgin, and VERY shy around guys.) We saw some stupid Adam Sandler movie, and my "date" - who was basically a total stranger - sat with his arm around my shoulders and very gently stroked my shoulder with his thumb. For 2 hours. I had a raw spot on my shoulder from that asshole's thumb by the time the movie was over. Then he insisted on walking me to my car (while my friend & her boyfriend totally ditched me) and he tried to french kiss me. After he'd known me for 2 hours. No, dude. Just no.

Oh, and there was also the time I watched Basic Instinct with my mom, and that was pretty awkward, but my mom is generally cool, so I think the ambush blind date was worse.

Snarky Amber

Had I not had a week from hell, here is the story I would have told:

I saw the re-release of Monty Python and the Holy Grail with my (now ex) boyfriend at the time. He must not have known I was such a huge Monty Python fan, or simply didn't care if I was, because he dramatically rolled his eyes and muttered about how stupid and bad it was the ENTIRE TIME while I gripped my seat rest and chugged my beer (it was a theater pub) and eventually moved two rows away from him in a huff. That movie is a classic and hilarious. I should have broken up with him right then and saved myself two years of (unrelated) grief.

kelly

I was a bit of a smart ass, way back when I was a kiddie. At least that is what everyone tells me. My sixth-grade teacher was a large overweight single man in a very small town. My desk was right in front of his, and every time he would get mad, he would slam down his fiberglass paddle (with the holes cut in it for the extra wind-whistley goodness)down right in front of my face. After my hair would resettle in the quasi-Farrah hair I was trying to acheive, he would explain loudly what crappy kids we were, and yeah, we were some crappy kids. I was in a group of two other semi-smartasses and we were all lined up with the front of our desks touching the front of his desk. We received more "5 licks" and "10 page reports" (the alternative to the paddle)than any other kids in his class. I got to the point where I could write a 10 page report in an hour.

BACK TO THE MOVIE STORY: Sorry, I went off on a tangent. I went with my mother and little brother to a showing of The Empire Strikes Back at our little Twin Cinema in Podunk, Mississippi. This was shortly before the next movie was going to come out, somewhere around 1983. I remember the trailer for the movie said Revenge of the Jedi, not Return of the Jedi. Anyhoo, we got all comfortable in our seats with our popcorn and cokes, and I turned around to see my teacher there RIGHT behind me with A DATE!!! You just don't know how freaky that was, not only that he got a woman to go out with him, but that I was the one to witness it. You could see the sinking look in his eyes when I turned around and said hello. I introduced myself and said that Mr. X was my teacher, and offered that they should have a great time and enjoy the movie. During the whole movie, I was a nervous wreck. I just had to call someone and tell them that Mr. X was on a real date. After the movie, we said goodbye, and my mom, brother and I left to go home. I asked her to hurry so I could call everyone and tell them. She asked me if I really wanted to do that. I looked at her like she was crazy, "Of course I want to do that. Are you kidding?" She told me that he would hate it a lot more, if I kept what I now knew a secret, if I did not tell anyone, he would be the one squirming to know what I told, and who, and why wasn't he getting flack about it. I agreed to see if that was true, and it was. You could see the waiting and wondering on his face for the next few weeks. I hope it drove him crazy. I will say, I got fewer 10 page reports to do after the next semester started. At the end of the year, he admitted to the entire class that I had seen him on a date, and that he was amazed that I had the restraint to not tell anyone. I told him that I had wanted to make him squirm. He stopped teaching elementary kids the next year.

Mr. X then began teaching at the community college campus that I went to 6 years later. I saw him on campus during orientation, and he said that I was not allowed to take his class. I informed him that I had not planned to take his class...previously, but if he was going to get all upset about it, I would go back to administration and sign right up for his class. He laughed nervously and we parted ways. I never saw him again for the two years I attended that college. I know this is ranty and verbose, but I just could not stop thinking about this.

Palinode

@kelly, I believe every word you say.

I too had an awkward time at The Empire Strikes Back. I saw the film at the Rosewood or Rosemont Theatre in Bermuda. In the crush of people between the ticket booth and the ticket taker, I dropped my ticket and immediately started scrambling around on the floor. My cousin grabbed my neck and threw me into the theatre while the ticket taker wasn't looking. I spent the whole time certain that the ticket guy was going to come and get me. Also, a little girl kept tapping the back of my head and saying, 'Hey boy! Hey BOY! What's going on?' It's even more fun with a thick Bermudian accent.

rkmama

This is a tie for me, both at home viewings because most of my awkward theater moments are of me making out with boys that I'd rather not remember, during films like Nixon. (What was wrong with me?)
1. Watching Magnolia. With my then-boyfriend and his MOTHER. She is now my mother in law and I swear we haven't made eye contact since.
2. Begging my dad to rent me Kids for a big party I was throwing in an attempt to be Queen of the 9th grade. That dream was dashed when my dad walked in during a frighteningly graphic sex scene, shouting "YOU SAID THIS WAS PG!"

Maggie

MY first date with a guy (way back in the actual 1980s not the 1980s redux you have now) I'd pursued for about a year (nevermind the guy I was dating...he was old news) FINALLY arrived. We were in college and he invited me to movie night on his dorm floor. When I got there, I was the only girl. The first selection was odd..."Eraserhead"....the second was the most awkward thing ever..."A Clockwork Orange"!

That film was pretty randy for it's day and the graphic depictions of rape and the milk bar were not really first date fair. Certainly not when you are the only girl among about 60 guys. Everyone was cringing.

I did eventually end up in relationship with that guy but much like our first date, it fluctuated between odd and awkward and ultimately went no where. Oh well.

Natalie

My most awkward was more me making it awkward for someone else! I was the 'manager' of a bunch of teenagers and college kids that worked at the fun, hands-on museum in our city. We always had staffing issues in the summer and one friday two high school girls called off. One just said she didn't feel well and she was sorry the other stayed on the phone for 5 minutes saying she was sick as a dog and was puking everywhere and could not come in. I worked Sunday through Thursday so friday was my normal day off. I had to go into work and do all kids of re-scheduling and calling around and finally found people to cover shifts. Then I left to go meet my fiance at the movie we had planned on seeing that afternoon.

We sat near the back in front of a guy who was about in his early 30s. (this was a stadium seating situation so people who came in entered at the bottom of the room and had to walk up stairs to get to the back of the theater. Suddenly there was my sick as a dog girl. She had popcorn and drinks and started walking up the stairs. She was only about two rows away when she saw me and froze to the spot.

Meanwhile the guy behind us (who seriously was way too old for her she was only 16) started calling her name telling her he was right there. I smiled and gave her a little wave and she turned white and then walked up. They spent the entire movie with him trying to make out with her, and her just sitting stone cold still. At the end of the movie we stood up and I turned around and said "excuse me, how old are you?" to the man and he told me it wasn't any of my business. I told him indeed it was since 'Jane' was only 16 and the age of consent in our state was 18 and he was certainly more than 5 years older than her and that I could call her mother on my cell phone if he would like to meet her.

He left so fast that I ended up having to give 'Jane' a ride to our museum, where her mother thought she was still at work.

After that she ended up being the picture of a perfect worker and 3 years later I ended up giving her a recommendation for her college applications.

kimm

Fatal Attraction when I was 15 on a first date. I got in trouble with my parents after, when they found out, but I told them I had already suffered enough.

norm

Palinode, hey bye! BYE! I have an embarrassing movie story from Bermuda as well. To make a long story short my bladder couldn't make it through Titanic and halfway through the climactic sinking scene I had to get up and I tripped three times and fell over people trying to get to the aisle. I got called some things in Sin Davidian I couldn't even understand. Shrew de trees, indeed.

Palinode

@Norm, I tried to describe the strange thing that is the Bermujan accent to my wife, but I don't think she believed me until we went there to visit my family.

Shrew de trees. Ah, memories.

[mark]

is no one else going to comment on how much ABSOLUTE FUCKING WIN that video was???

that was the coolest thing i've seen in a long ass time. well done, all.

(kudos to whomever edited that bad ass piece of cinema, as well. i love the 50's educational movie milieu.)

Sheryl

The night my husband and I met, we went on a double-blind date, to see The Accused. 'Nuff said.




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