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Project Runway Recap: "Best of the Best"

Picture 32 Previously, we said goodbye to Little Lord Peppermint Fauntleroy. Currently, we're getting ready for a new episode of the "most talked-about season yet," according to the Lifetime voiceover. Well, that's ONE way of spinning all the "WORST SEASON EVER" declarations?

THIS. Is Project Runway! A pale poop-brown shadow of its former ferocious self.

I was briefly thinking (based on the episode title) that this might be a clip show, and found myself totally not caring about that. A night off from this nonsense! I could type four sentences about the previously never-before-seen footage of Irina being a bitch and be done with it! But no. New episode. We soldier on.

God, every time I see Carol Hannah's smudged-up makeup I just want to spit on my thumbs and rub them under her eyes.

Christopher, Logan and Gordana talk about stepping up of games and such. The three young pretty things sit around looking smug, for honestly, I think we could all make PRETTY GOOD GUESSES about the final three already. AUGH! SO BORING.

The designers are brought to Heidi's stupid little pre-challenge tease-off and are sitting the wrong way, with their backs to the runway. Christopher reminds us that they've never done this and declares it the most horrifying thing ever. Mmm. Kay. They turn around and Heidi is there with all of their winning pieces. The challenge is to create a companion piece to their best look, something akin to putting together a cohesive collection.

They have to specify "best" instead of "winning" because hmmmmm, SOMEONE has made it all the way to the final six without ever winning a single challenge. LOGAN. His dress from the very first challenge is there instead, and I do not remember it AT ALL. (Miss Banshee did a bang-up job recapping last week, no? And while I didn't really care for Nicolas I reeeeally disagreed with his auf'ing. Logan should have gone. Christopher is floundering now but even he has a win or two under his Santa Fe leather belt.) Logan is grateful for this opportunity to prove himself.

Irina thinks this challenge will point out who has real talent and who just got lucky (quick cut to LoganGordanaChristopher). She thinks there are a Few People (LoGorpher) who should have gone home already. I agree. But. Still a bitch!

Althea and Carol Hannah are both wearing black shirts and matching belt/sash/tie things. Althea's winning look is that awful messy bubble skirt/jacket thing that I cannot believe I have to look at it again because IT ANGERS ME. At least it's not that goddamn fucking ice queen thing, so suddenly I am a whole lot more okay with last week's auffing. She's doing the same high-waisted diaper effect...on TAPERED PANTS. You guys. For real. Logan remarks that they look like Malvin's chicken-leg jodhpurs and he's pretty much right.

Irina is making something to go with her Aspen look. What, no newspaper jacket? Pffft. This is too easy. She explains the concept of making something that is both "complimenting" and yet "different" like we are a bunch of slow ESL toddlers.

Gordana's look is her win from the divorcee challenge. Christopher's is that poofy black short thing from the first (of many) make-something-pretty-red-carpet challenge. He's buying 30 yards of something and the music indicates that this is bad idea diaper jeans. Carol Hannah's is her Bob Mackie look, and while she briefly debates making pants simply because she's never made pants, Tim tells her this isn't the challenge for her to move outside her comfort zone.

We get a background bio thing on Gordana. She's a Bosnian Serb and her parents have no education and she came from nothing and...yeah. I can't say anything funny or snarky about this so I'm moving on.

Tim Time!

Carol Hannah is struggling, Shirin Style. She thinks her look is a big ol' mess. Tim does not argue. They layer some fabric and have a Major Breakthrough. What have you done today, to make you feeeeeel proud? Wait. Wrong show.

Irina changed course at Mood and chose a beautiful tapestry fabric, and although she doesn't seem concerned, I'm not sure it's the best compliment to the other look, at least on the dress form. Colors seem a bit off. Tim seems happy, so perhaps it's just a camera/lighting thing.

Christopher is doing his look as a gown, and Tim thinks it looks like a mother's dress. Which: dude. Mothers. Watching. Lots of us. Not appreciating being used as shorthand for "old and boring." At least say mother of the BRIDE, so we can all sit here and think that's not us, because none of our little tiny babies will ever grow up and get married and leave us and sob.

Althea's pants are even more diaper-like that I imagined, and Tim says as much. She swears that even though they're scary right now, she has total confidence in them and what they'll look like after her model fitting. Tim has confidence in Althea. And sunshine. And rain. And that spring will come a-gain.

Tim is excited by Logan's look, while Althea gives him much stink-eye. Turns out his big collar made of zippers is pretty much identical to the collar she did on the Christina Aguilera challenge. I never even noticed that collar, and I wonder if anyone else did either.

While Tim and Gordana debate the finishing of her jacket, Althea and Irina bitch about Logan McSilverStealyPants. Althea says she hates him, and wonders if she should say anything to him. Irina, naturally, thinks she should. 

Irina also hates Christopher's look, and laughs at her description of "one dress throwing up the other." Again, DAMN, she's totally right. She's gunning for a snarky recapping job, isn't she?

Althea brings up the collar thing to her model, but hasn't worked up the courage to confront Logan about it. Her model's reaction: "Oh my goodness."

Gordana asks Althea for a hook and eye, they dig around before asking Irina. She says no, automatically, because she's not here to make friends or lend you fucking sewing supplies, you talentless whore. Logan reveals that her nickname is Meana Irina. Eh, I prefer just Bitch.

Speaking of the Bitch Squad, Althea has mostly decided to not say anything about Logan and the collar. Irina then points out (in an interview, of course) that for all her whining, Althea's current design is awfully similar to Irina's Aspen look. Because oh yes! Big baggy sweaters! Never, ever been done before. Irina wonders if Althea is drunk or insane. 

Runway Time!

Oh Jesus God, what is Heidi wearing? Sparkly bermuda shorts? With a jacket and flowered shirt? NOW who is insane or drunk? I guess I'll go with Heidi = Insane and Amalah = drunk. Judges include Nina Garcia Fashion Director For Marie Claire Magazine, Nick Verreos All Around Adorable Person, and Kerry Washington Woman To Be IMDB'd Later.

(Good news on the Judging Front: Nina and Michael will be in EVERY episode next season.)

Top Three: Pretty Young Thing Trifecta.

Bottom Three: Christordagon.

Christopher

Picture 31

The judges point out all the obvious problems. The proportions are off, it's crazy-bottom heavy, it's two different gowns that never came together. I do love the top and...yeah. If he'd just freaking edited out some or most of that falderal down at the bottom, this would have been a ProjRun Approved Pretty Dress.

Gordana

Picture 28
Ugh. I hate this. It reminds me of every cheap blazer and suit separate I ever tried on in Filene's Basement, back when I was an editorial assistant, desperately trying to put together a decent business wardrobe on an entry-level salary. The jacket fabric looked cheap and flimsy. And the styling is terrible.

Logan

Picture 27
The judges smirk and maybe even snicker a little bit. Dudes, whatever, I know you're a mostly revolving door of guest judges now, but it's still all of y'all's damn asses' fault that he's still here, okay? Shirin? Epperson? You sure about those decisions now? They really hate Althea's precious intellectual property, as it reminds them of a lizard's neck.

Carol Hannah

Picture 30

A very sweet, adorable little dress, if a little basic. Kerry Washington loses her damn mind over the fact that it has pockets. Uh, I know this season was filmed awhile ago but pockets on cocktail dresses have been a full-on fad for at least a couple years now. There was colored fabric under the skirt that doesn't show up in any of the still photos.

(An aside: Is it just me or are these designers like, pathologically afraid of color? God.)

Irina

Picture 26

Kerry Washington goes on and on about her stylist and how she'd "make a call" if she saw this on the runway and MAN, but she's trying hard to lifestyle-drop herself as a major celebrity. I did actually go an IMDB her and the only thing I may have ever seen her in is a Law & Order rerun from 2001. Probably on Lifetime. Oooh, synergy! Nina thinks the tight brocade dress looks cheap (and I dislike the sides of the skirt), but she is alone in her principles.

Althea

Picture 29

Oh, you just knew the judges would love this after all that. I will say that the visible giant nipple and aureole beneath the white top did a decent job of distracting me from the pants, which would be highly problematic for most of the female population.

But! Then! Heidi says something about the two bulky sweater coats on the runway, and Althea looks genuinely shocked. She looks even MORE shocked when fucking Irina speaks up and starts bitching about all the "copying" going on, and it's like irony just went and threw Blond Girl under the bus. She stammers something about it being her original sketch and she wasn't going to change it once she saw Irina working on something similar (I don't think she understands that Irina is claiming she copied last week's design, not this week's) and Nick mentions that it happens, like it's not that big of a deal, and Irina snots something like, "With six people? In a single workroom? Really?" It's like, our first genuinely interesting moment on the runway this season, and I'm so unaccustomed to them that I can do little more than squirm uncomfortably.

Althea and her Diaper Hammer Pants are declared the winners, and honestly I'm so satisfied to see Irina's irritated eye roll that I don't really care. Irina wants to play the villain? Bitch, bring it on. I will dislike you so hard and so irrationally that I will be BLIND to your beautiful designs and possible deserving wins.

Althea preaches that while she doesn't know what exact.y Irina was accusing her of, she does now that accusing someone of copying (so...yeah, that was what she was accusing you of, pretty much) -- on the RUNWAY in front of JUDGES and IMPORTANT PEOPLE like KERRY WASHINGTON -- is a question of MORALS. Yes, it's waaaay better to bitch and gossip (to the owner of those questionable morals, at that) and accuse someone else of copying behind their back, and yet on camera at the same time, on national television. Althea, you are a golden beacon of reality show relativism. 

Christopher is in. Gordana is in. Logan is out, mostly for having failed to give the producers any good Carol Hannah snogging footage. His giant Chanel chain-strap manpurse should have tipped them off a little sooner that it probably wasn't gonna happen.







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Comments

rebecca

HATE HATE Althea's outfit, and was highly disgusted by her behavior. at least Irina is outright mean.

Diaper pants came down the runway, and I said, "I hate every part of that outfit." husband: "there's the winner, then."

I apparently have no taste.

Alyssa

I used to like Irina... this episode made me really hate her. You can "not make friends" without going out of your way to be a cut-throat bitch. And how SNOOTY can you get?! Something about her just screams "I want to be friends with the likes of Kim Kardashian because I like to look down on other people based on the fact that I'm younger and prettier than them." Or is that just me? I'm so pissed she's going to win this season. Come on. You know she is. Ughhhhhh.

Also, Gordana's outift? I had a VIOLENT physical reaction. Like terror-inducing flashbacks to working in an office with a bunch of frumpy modesty-conscious Mormon girls (Being Mormon myself, I can say that). I was yelling at the tv the whole time that look was on the runway. I think it is the most terrible thing that has come out of this season. I was shocked when Logan went home instead of her.

Anya

I thought Gordana should have gone home. Her outfit wasn't terrible - but it was SOOOO boring. Logan's dress showed creativity - it wasn't good. But, LOOK - ZIPPERS! EVERYWHERE! Creativity! Just my opinion.

michele

my eyes! what is up with Althea and the shirts with the free boob? make it stop!!!! gag gag gag.

irina's was frumpy and terrible. hello irina and althea--it has all been done before! irina, you did not invent the sweater. get over yourself.

personally i love that i get the feeling that nina would have dumped 80% of the people on this season after the first challenge. and she merely shows up to auf the rest of them b/c they paid her to.

michele

thanks for the recaps amalah. and miss banshee did a great job last week. thanks for not leaving us hanging!

and this week was surely not "best of the best." sigh.

Jill

I think I have hated almost every single thing Althea has done. It's just so NOT GOOD.

Zalary

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Zalary

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Suzy Q

My observations, late as they may be:

What Carol Hannah needs is more eye makeup. Because that would be SO AWESOME. Also, I think I might buy a bit of stock in Maybelline.

What was up with not just one, but TWO, of the female designers wearing jeans, a t-shirt and an obi-wan sash to Mood? Did Madonna, circa 19-whatever, time-travel forward to smack some Asianicity into them?

Could Althea maybe, just once, design a top with A BRA inside it? Or even just a lining, for Pete's sake? I'm not anti-nipples by any means, but holy hell, I feel just a wee bit too "involved" with that model.

If I wore Irina's outfit, not only would my brocaded ass look way too large in that dress, but I would also drag those infernal copied-sweater sleeves through my lobster butter and martini. No sale!

Geordana's outfit reminded me of a prison matron's outfit from a low-rent, Eastern European women-in-prison film. Not that I've ever seen any movies like that. But, I'm thinking that there just might have been some Frederick's of Hollywood undies hiding underneath for when Matron gets angry.

Not even Heidi can rock knee-length, shiny silver shorts. WTF, Heidi's stylist?

avsgirl

Again, an hour of my life I will never get back! I mean and hour and a half because I stayed tuned and watched the bitchiness of the Models of Project Runway too...And why is Christopher STILL HERE?

Elizabeth

How is Althea's design better than Carol Hannah's? A see-through top is...okay?

LoGorpher and Christordagon- ha!

funda62

How can there only be one challenge left when we still have five crap designers? Does this mean two will get cut next week?

(Hiding behind the computer screen) but I actually thought Gordona's was not that bad, but Althea's was horrific. Heidi said, "Every woman is going to want those pants." and I thought, "So says the woman in sparkly bicycle shorts." Yuck.

helenel

I thought Gordana's outfit looked better a) from the back and b)before she put that hideous collar on it.

Also, at first I thought Heidi's shorts were made of duct tape.

a.eye

I think the show through on the gray top was not her nipple or aureole, but instead one of those pasty things women put on their breasts when they are afraid to let a little nip show through.

It was still distracting, though.

Corinne

When Irina got all bitchy on the runway because Althea was totally copying her because she used a knit last week I wanted to smack her. Yes, because you were ever so brilliant and used a knit in your outfit, nobody can ever do that again or they'll be accused of copying. Uh-huh... so are silks out? Pretty sure that material's been used before. And is it still ok to use the color brown since she used it last week?

Hate Althea's obsession with jiggly boobs and really wanted to see Heidi lay the smackdown on that. I was sad to see her getting bitchy with Irina this week too.

I don't care how good of a designer Irina is, I hate her with a passion because she is SUCH a bitch and has SUCH an attitude about her supposed massive talent, like she's too good for the show. Shove it Irina, I wish the judges would tear you a new one on the runway just to remind you that you are in fact human, not God's gift to the clothing world.

Why is Christopher still here? Shouldn't he have been eliminated like 6 times now?




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