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Five Things That Offended Me More at the AMAs Than Adam Lambert Kissing Another Guy

1258990496_adam-290 The Internet was most definitely abuzz with shock and awe and a little more shock after Adam Lambert gave the last performance of the night at the AMAs Sunday. For those who missed it, Lambert -- while performing his new single "For Your Entertainment" -- got all crotch-pushy on one of his dancers, kissed a band mate and then flipped off the audience. He also fell, apparently, but I missed that part completely. I wonder what COULD have been distracting me?

Now, I know the AMAs aren't necessarily the MTV Video Awards, so some of the same stuff can't just be chalked up to Those Crazy Kids with Their Sex, Drugs and Such, but we're not exactly talking about sexual innuendos splashed across a Saturday morning cartoon. It was still pretty late into the night when all impressionable children should have been asleep, far away from the corrupting images of a man kissing another man. Call me whatever it is you want to call me, but the following bothered me way more than seeing the American Idol runner-up making out with someone who just so happened to also have a penis.

Such as!

1. Jennifer Lopez's outfit/song choice/overall demeanor. Have you ever noticed how seriously Jennifer Lopez seems to take herself? Like this expression she's always giving the cameras.

Jennifer-lopez-hair1 Now, come on, who actually makes that face at any camera or mirror or parked-car window without being ironic or, come to think of it, wasted. This expression -- when made unironically -- just screams, I should be taken very, very, incredibly seriously. I am Jennifer Lopez, in case you didn't know. But you did know. Because I'm Jennifer Lopez.

Her AMAs performance -- of her new single "Louboutins" -- was given while wearing, uh, not Louboutins, first off. Also, it just reeked of "I'm so awesome!" and "Look at me coming back!" and no one was buying a second of it. You just know Ben Affleck was sitting somewhere watching the disaster thinking to himself, That was a mighty scary bullet I dodged there.

Also, you know what I can relate to? A good self-empowerment song about throwing on a pair of shoes that cost the equivalent of my mortgage. Let me sing it loud and proud!

2. Taylor Swift trying to convince us -- with her stunned "who, me?" speeches -- that she didn't already know she was winning all 27 of those awards. Who would believe that celebrities just hang out on tour with a satellite on the ready IN A DIFFERENT COUNTRY for the off chance they might win the award they're up for? Uh, no one. What's more, no one would ever expect someone to do that, so close your mouth Taylor, thank the right people and move along.

Also, this does not bode well for her acting debut in the upcoming feature film, Valentine's Day.

3. Not a single person I follow on Twitter mentioned how awesome Greenday was and will always be.

4. The T-Mobile Breakthrough Artist was a country band -- Gloriana -- that no one had ever heard of. (Although, shout out to the band themselves for acknowledging that.) I mean come on, if I'm Lady Gaga and I get that award snatched from me, I'm going to be ridiculously offended that no one pulled a Kanye on my behalf. No, really, it was just a surprising win and I was kind of stunned by it far longer than I was stunned by Adam Lambert acting raunchy.

5. Adam Lambert's screeching. Do I care who the man sleeps with/dances on/simulates sexual acts with? No. Should you care? No. But could he just stop screaming so much? I was telling someone how I just can't imagine buying his CD because the screaming! The screaming is not for me! And they said, "Yeah, he's also...um...gay." I've heard -- and I could be wrong about this -- that The Gay doesn't actually transmit through your radio or iPod speakers or laptop. (And, I don't think you can actually catch it from listening to music, although I'd have to double-check on that.) The Screaming transmits loudly and annoyingly, though.

There have been thousands of complaints made to the network because of Adam's performance and, you know, if someone isn't bitching about how you offended them, you're probably doing it all wrong or unnoticeably, so look for the compliment there if you can, but I just get bugged that our culture can churn out six movies in the Saw franchise -- a string of movies that specializes in cleverly torturing and murdering people -- but a gay man expressing himself musically and sexually on stage is...offensive? To someone who could have turned the channel? He's allowed to sing for us but not remind us he's gay? No, he didn't offend me. Well perhaps a little bit by those spikey things on his suit. I just...well, I don't like clothes that can wound me. Call me old-fashioned.







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Comments

b

Okay, I'm ready to be creamed for this, but yeah, it's offensive. As are all the hetero sexually charged acts. I know, I know, I'm simply longing for the days when I was a kid and I could prime time shows with my parents, and we've all moved on from actually watching family t.v., but I haven't!

I'm tired of having to subject myself to Barbie and The Nutcracker in order to enjoy a movie with my daughter. I'm tired of having to fast forward through all these shows so she can watch Taylor "Swiff" perform. I am sad that my husband can't even stay "live" with his football games b/c a commercial for Saw XV just came on while our five year old is constructing a diorama of Barbie and The Nutcracker on our coffee table. And I'm really pissed that I can't watch So You Think You Can Dance all the way through without screening it b/c often "interpretive dance" is code for "dry humping to a beat".

Rant: OVER

Lisa

Green Day was awesome, they are always awesome and don't get the attention they deserve because of talentless hacks like Adam Lambert just CRYING and BEGGING for attention...Green Day stays true to themselves..I puffy pink heart them.

BaltimoreGal

If that was offensive than the choreographer who designed Janet Jackson's "If" video and everything Madonna has ever done should also be banned from previous and future award shows. Not to mention Bobby Brown, Snoop Dog, and Prince, to name a few.

Is it edgier than you might like? Probably. I certainly didn't watch it because I didn't care about the performers. But then, I wasn't allowed to watch shows like this when I was a kid either, no matter who was singing.

Fawn Amber

I could not agree more with anything said here...well, other than the Greenday love. Not that I don't enjoy them but, you know. Whatever.

Could Keith Urban have been more delicious though? MY GOD that ink just does me in. Two cents, and done.

Jennie

B, I get that, really, but something being broadcast at 10 pm CT isn't exactly family programming. At least, it doesn't seem like something children should be awake to watch live and if they do want to see parent-approved parts of it, recording it and controlling its playback seems like the better option, I'd think.

Also, where I can see parts of his performance not suitable for children, I (personally) don't think a gay man kissing another man is inappropriate for television. That's just me.

Darcey

Agreed, Jennie.
Also, I'm pretty sure that it was Jennifer Lopez that fell, not Adam Lambert -- I watched the Lambert performance live (EST), but caught J.Lo's fall on YouTube the day after.

makyo

what really bothers me about the whole adam lambert thing is that this is somehow cause for civic uproar when i've seen i-can't-even-count-how-many homosexual kisses and innuendos on tv for years... except that, oh yeah, those were about lesbians and lesbians are okay because they're sexy. so, two women kissing each other/groping/making out, that's hot, but two men do the same and suddenly it's cause for alarm? talk about a double standard.

Kim

YouTube removed the AMA Lambert video, lol!

b

I agree it was not at a kid friendly time, which is clue #!. It's really about not being able to share a lot of this stuff with my kids without being a TiVo princess, which of course creates a whole other host of issues for my kids when they can't pause live t.v.

Amanda

You should follow me on twitter, I totally mentioned Green Day.

Adam Lambert is a hot mess, I've been saying it since he came on the scene. Two dudes kissing doesn't creep me out, Adam Lambert creeps me out period.

Jen

Jennie - you are new, right? WELCOME!!! I have been waiting for someone on here to cover Lambert and his "crotch pushiness". And i pretty much agree with all of the above.

Tracy H

I love everything about this post!

heidi

#5 slays me. Thank you. I think I may love you.

Laurie

I usually tweet my Green Day love. I think I was distracted by the rest of the whatever that was. ;)

Paradise

I had to laugh and bob my head up and down while reading this. I agree to all of the insights printed. We must be sisters separated at birth. I thought JLo's entire performance was a joke and so over the top trying to be back in the limelight...I think the train has moved on....




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