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Robert Pattinson Might Sparkle, But He Also Stinks

250px-EdwardCullen Oh, RPatz. You crafty thing, you. Robert Pattinson has devised a plan to keep the paparazzi at bay, and it involves offending the shnozz. 

RobertPattinson

Apparently, Peter Facinelli, who plays Daddy Cullen, told Rob that if he (ick) only changes his clothes once a week (bleh!) the paps won't be able to sell as many pictures, because it would look like they all came from the same day. And Rob thought this was a dandy idea. So yeah, Edward is smelly. 

I mean, can you imagine? Boys are smelly anyway, and to have the same clothes on for a week? I knew that Rob had a rumored body odor issue, but I had no idea he was wearing the same shirt and pants (and underwear? Do we know? Does he even WEAR underpants? I'd like to volunteer my services to find out) every damn day. 

It's a pretty great idea, actually, in a very passive aggressive sort of way. But man, I don't want to think about having Kristen Stewart's job if Edward is all icky and gross. Maybe THAT'S why Bella always looks like something offended her. RPatz reeks! 

Oh man, remember the scene in Twilight when they're lying in the grass? And Edward's arm is raised? And Bella's like, IN his armpit? I just threw up a little in my mouth. Maybe Kristen Stewart ISN'T a raging snotty brat, maybe it's all Rob's pits' fault! This could change my opinion on Stewart drastically. They're always at premieres and events together, maybe the defeated posture and snippy attitude is a byproduct of having to be all lovey with a stinkbomb! 

Okay, Kristen Stewart, I'll give you the benefit of a doubt. You might actually have a pretty crappy job, if this whole "Robert Pattinson smells like a sewer" thing is true. And Rob? Darling? Didn't your mother ever teach you to wear clean underpants? You could be in an accident, and what would the paramedics think of you if you're wearing stinky drawers? Think of your poor mother, Rob. 

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Comments

April

Honestly? I don't care. I dig dirty, skinny boys. It would take a lot more than rumpled clothes for me to kick him out of my bed.

kari Weber

Just because he is wearing the same clothes doesn't mean he isn't washing them... in between... I'm just sayin'...

Alyssa

I bet he can afford more than one of the same outfit these days.

Lindsey

Forgive me for not getting the whole Twilight mass mentality so maybe I'm missing something- does he actually walk around daily wearing the *exact same* hairstyle that they gave him in the movie? That's.... odd.

Kim Johnson

Lindsey, I remember reading somewhere that he did his own hair for the movie because he has personal space issues. Maybe he's keeping the same 'do during all the publicity for the new movie?

Pennsylrican

I totally have a shower he can use. I AM JUST SAYING.




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