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The Road Opens, So Of Course I'm Writing About It AGAIN

The Road book  Maybe you think writing about The Road again is taking the easy way out, but you never know what it's like being someone else until something something shoes and also I have fantastic biceps that I kiss all day long, so there you go. I'm totally not phoning this one in because it's a holiday weekend and I've only got like a two hour window of sobriety that is just slamming shut now. The Road opens this weekend finally, so you should go see it because...

See what I did there? That's called a teaser. I have no idea why you should go and see it. I don't know you. maybe you hate good movies about the end of the world and cannibalism. Maybe your a dirty commie. It's hard to say. What I will tell you is that I am definitely going to see it because the book was so amazing and it's by Cormac McCarthy who shares my love for no punctuation. And I want to see if Strider Mortengensen* talks like the dialog in the novel, because if he does that's pretty much the best dialog ever written as spoken by a former associate of Hobbits. 

And I'm totally not psyched about the cannibal parts because cannibals eat other people according to my research and not in a sexy way that makes you leer creepily at girls in bars after you've winked and made a loving tongue-waggle but just before you are wearing their Banana Daiquiri. I think we can all agree that without sexy, why are we even here?  Sexy makes the world go round. The Cannibals in The Road are not fine young cannibals either, and they won't drive me crazy hoo-hooo. They are gross, dirty cannibals with no sense of style and are not very likely to break into annoying falsetto "hoo"ing unless you ask them to as they cut off your leg. It's important to know what kind of cannibals you're dealing with.

The-road-still-5
In the post-apocalyptic world of The Road, saturated colors are ILLEGAL! 

People at Mama Pop, including yours-handsomely have been writing about The Road for almost a year now. So maybe you should just shut up and go, because we totally know what's what and don't make us tell you again.

This Black Friday Early Afternoon Post is brought to you by whiskey. Whiskey...it's what's for dinner.

* I have no idea how to spell his name so I just added a bunch on "en"s after all the non-vowels, so it kinda sounds like "Manfrengensen:" like Kevin Kline's phony CIA name in A Fish Called Wanda, but it's not Kevin Kline it's the other guy. You know who I mean. The guy who showed off his wang in Eastern Promises.







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Comments

Jen O.

I've been waiting for this movie since I read the book and I'm super pissed that there isn't a theatre in a 50 km (that's 31 miles in American) radius of me that is showing The Road. I'm aboot (that's 'about' in American) ready to bite someone's earlobe off and eat it.

steff

i, too, am in the same boat as jen o. closest showing is 35+ miles away and i live in the greater nyc area. what gives?




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